How to make my dad like my boyfriend!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!

Ok so I'm 17 and my boyfriend's 16 and we've been going out for 8 months straight now. I've had boyfriends before this but they never lasted more than a month or two and weren't really serious.
I've never...

told my parents about any of my other boyfriends!
I wasn't going to tell them about my current one until we got serious and I started going to his house and the vice principal started harassing us (well mostly me because she's always hated me and hates couples) so I had to tell my Dad.
I dropped it casually into conversation like he already knew and he didn't say anything in response to it.
My mom is very old fashioned in thinking and thinks I'm too young to be in a relationship but still allows me to see him.
I'm very close to his family and parents.
I knew his mom randomly from before when she did a course in our school.

My parents and boyfriend haven't met.
My Dad has been to my boyfriend's house,met his brother,mom and step dad,but keeps avoiding meeting my boyfriend.
He's even been in my boyfriend's bedroom when he came to collect me one time!!

My boyfriend's really scared and nervous about meeting my dad.
I've tried to make their meeting less daunting and formal by trying to get them to meet at something they're both at like our school's open day and gigs!
My Dad knows what my boyfriend looks like,he's collected me from school before while I was hanging out with my boyfriend at the gate.

I think the reason why my Dad is so weird about the situation is because I was always his little girl and he probably sees my boyfriend as some kind of threat.
Also he probably thinks he knows how my boyfriend thinks because he was once a teen boy himself.
But my boyfriend is one of the decent,well mannered,girl respecting good guys and truly loves and cares for me.
I wish I could make my Dad see that it.

I go to my boyfriend's house every 2nd weekend but every time I ask my parents for permission, they do the same routine
-make a big deal out of it,even though they know his parents will be home and drive me there.
-they talk in the kitchen about it for ages and won't include me in the discussion and won't let me hear!
It's so frustrating!!
Surely after 7 months of this they must have discussed everything?!

Also whenever I mention my boyfriend,my Dad goes cold on me and the atmosphere goes tense. Even if I say something really amusing he said or how he complimented my Dad,my Dad doesn't laugh and just acts like he didn't hear me!
He found me before after I snuck out (in the morning) to see my boyfriend after they wouldn't let me see him for a week for no reason over Christmas and I had to give him his present!
My boyfriend had his hood up at the time and my Dad thinks that he wasn't allowed to be there and was hiding but that wasn't the case at all!!

But my Dad was acting weird at the mention of my boyfriend's name before that anyway.
My boyfriend has offered to help my brother with his guitar and give him free lessons but that still doesn't please my Dad!
The funny thing is though when I'm on the phone to him,my Dad's constantly acting the clown and annoying me in the background,trying to be funny and loves when I tell him that my boyfriends thinks he's funny!
They like the same kind of music (my boyfriend's into oldies music) and they both like old movies and can play guitar and I've my Dad this but he just brushed it off but was impressed by my boyfriend's many guitars!

When I go out, he calls my boyfriend's house and asks if I'm there.
My boyfriend has a state exam coming up in a few weeks and way back in January he randomly called his mom (whom he'd never met!) and told her that her son should be studying etc. She was really angry and upset about it and insulted that he was telling her how to raise her son!!
Now her and her husband are scared of my Dad and to answer the phone to him!

I hate this. I tried to be open and honest with my parents and let them into my world and this is how they re-pay me!!
It cause so many fights and tension between us because my parents try to keep me from seeing him and think that 3 hours once a week and 15 mins on the phone a day is enough!

What is my Dad's problem?!?!?!
Every time I ask him this he just acts like I'm paranoid and says he doesn't need to meet my boyfriend.
But when I asked if I could have him over,he said ya, anytime. I don't care!.
I'm just so scared that my Dad will blank him and act the ice queen!!

You cannot make anyone do anything. You need to learn that lesson now.
Your dad seems almost jealous of the time you spend with him. He doesnt want his little girl to grow up. So you need to talk to him and instead of letting him get away with saying you're being paranoid, ask that he lets you finish, and then make a list of the things he does. Tell him that you want to spend x amount of time with him, and as long as you are doing your school work, and everything else you need to do, you dont see why you are not allowed to see him. Tell him you want to understand his side of the story. And instead of attacking him (You do this), try it feels like to me that you dont like me being with my boyfriend, in the past you have done this, said this, etc etc, and I want to understand how you feel about him, and why you feel like I shouldnt be spending time with him, try to be as non confrontational, dont get upset, dont argue, dont shout, dont whine, try and be the mature one here and see what he has to say. I know you feel betrayed (and you can let him know this), but assuming your dad doesnt hate you and isnt trying to make you unhappy, he probably has his feelings and reasons too. Remember there's two sides to the story, and let him know that you want to see his side, and you're hoping that he can talk to you and understand yours...

Look I'm not gonna read all the crap you put sorry but just for the part How to make my Dad like my boyfriend well it's not going to happen I have a older sister and my pops has hated every boyfriend she's ever had no matter how nice they are it's just the way dads are with there daughters its called being over protective be glad he's over protective rather then not giving a sh*t.. Dads will never like a boyfriend until they put a ring on your finger Im pretty sure its been the same way with all of my girlfriend's dads.. but just dont pay attention to that crap eventually if you really love him and yall have dated for a long time and its a really good relationship he might warm up to it.. and dont think 8 months is a long time that aint sh*t forreal..

o ki didnt read your whole msg but fr looks of it u just need to get them to meet
if your dad dosnt like him because hes a year younger see how far apart your parents are in age and or even if you have any realitives 1 year apart remind him its no diff in your case

Ya sorry I phrased the question like that so that it would catch attention and not be too long!
I know I can't MAKE my Dad like my boyfriend,but I just wish he would give him a chance and at least act civil to him and not act all icy when I mention him or when he comes over! I don't it to be uncomfortable when they're around each other.
I just want my Dad to accept that he is a part of my life!

My boyfriend's family have welcomed me like their own from the start and I know that my parents aren't the most social in regards to having people over and aren't all hugs etc. but

I know my Dad's over protective and that's how Dad's are but my boyfriend can't really get his head around that because he has no sisters!

How am I attacking him?!?

I've tried to talk maturely to my Dad about this before and he just tells me either it's not up for discussion or what I say goes etc.
My parents (especially my Dad) have this inability to discuss and open up about things. My mom gets frustrated by questions and just can't handle it and has to be in control while my Dad probably just wants to be all macho and when I bring up the stuff he's done in the past to do with my boyfriend that was unfair and embarrassed me he just ends the discussion straight away and says he'll stop me seeing him altogether or punish me somehow if I continue to talk about it.

I know he's ashamed about most of his actions now when I put them into words to him now but won't admit he was wrong.

It's just this vicious cycle that's driven a wedge between me and my Dad especially.

I didnt mean attacking in a you're fighting him sort of way. But in a you're accusing him of being the problem sort of way (which he is, but that's besides the point). I'm not even accusing you of not being mature about it. Telling people what they did is how most of us just tend to speak. When people fight with others, or even have discussions with others, they tend to say you did this or you are this. Just try using more I words, and if discussions arent working, then they arent working. You need to change tactics. Stop trying to discuss past behavior, it is pointless if he refuses to talk about it, and if he feels bad about it, then there's really no use to it. Try and move on from here. If he does something, just calmly say how you feel about the situation. At this point that is all you can do. If he listens and starts reacting differently, then that's great. If he doesnt, then you might have to accept that he's not going to like your boyfriend and that is the end of it.

Ok cool thanks!
You sound really experienced!

lol, hardly, more learning than anything else (psych major and now counseling, they teach us all these things). I have attempted to use this with my best friend though. We were constantly fighting. It worked amazingly well (of course this tends to work best when both people are using it because they both want to fix the relationship, but even one sided, it is amazingly effective)

Ok Just tell your dad you've sucked his dick and he has to accept it