How to get my husband to understand my decision

I want to have an unassisted waterbirth in my apartment. I have thoroughly researched the subject, and feel it would be the best for me and my second child. I would like to help my husband understand why I want to birth the baby in this manner, but have so far been unable to convince him. Any ideas?
(Please just answer the question. I have already made my decision about what I am going to do and would really like to not be berated about it.)

I don't know how wise 'unassisted' would be - what if something goes wrong - maybe you can find a professional to speak to your husband...I wish your family the very best !!

I'm confused about your husband's standpoint. "...unable to convince him." -is he saying that you CAN'T do it? -or is he fine with it but thinks you're dumb? if you've explained your reasons to him and he's letting you go through with it, but doesn't agree with it, then I'd say you've done all that you can. bottom line is that an unassisted waterbirth in your apartment IS a stupid idea. that's like deciding to do your own surgery, only you're not a doctor. you really won't know what you're doing, and it's fairly technical. the only way things will work out right is if you give birth to a perfectly healthy baby. if there's ANYTHING wrong with it, you're in over your head. your husband probably sees this as a problem. if he's not willing to let you go through with it, then I can see your being mad as a reasonable response...but if he disagrees with you but is respecting your decision, what more do you want?! -anyways, more details, please.

Unassisted? Have you considered the legalities if something goes wrong? You can be convicted for failure to provide the basic necessities of life in North America if there's complications.

Whether you feel berated or not isn't the issue - I have no idea why you think such a risk would be better for you or the baby. Asking your husband to agree to this is like asking him to perform surgery on himself.

FYI: Unassisted childbirth is NOT illegal in ANY of the 50 states OR Mexico and has less risk than going to a hospital (where sick people go). Please do not post an answer in the future before actually researching the subject. None of these answers have been helpful or correct. Just because that is the way you feel, I have EVERY RIGHT to have my birth any way I choose, and, as I previously stated, I will not heed any of your ignorant spewing on this subject.

Could you let us know what experience and information have led you to your decision, please? I guess that, like my own sister-in-law, you had a bad experience of hospital birth with your first child, and have looked for an alternative this time, where you feel more in control of what will be going on. She, and another friend, each went for home births for their third child. If we know what is influencing your choice, then we may be able to give better advice about your husband. Thanks.

It sounds like you have made up your mind and you aren't even considering your husband's feelings in this manner. It is true that you are the one birthing the child, but it is (I hope) his baby too. He just wants what is best for you and his infant. If you want to convince him, those would be the lines to expand on, and let him know that his feelings are being taken into account.

Ouch - you may want to read up on this a bit more. CPM's (Certified Professional Midwives) still do attend home births, but this is not considered unattended. The stipulations are that they cannot accept insurance coverage, and there is no legal recourse for parents who believe she was negligent. That coupled with the fact that unattended births are misdemeanors in many states, but are largely unenforceable. Water births are a different story, because the mother cannot lie about the baby "coming so fast that I had no choice".

This is more than just a philosophical point. How would you feel if there was a complication resulting in the death of the child? Would you say "Oh, well, it's how nature works"? How would your husband feel if it resulted in YOUR death? No wonder he's apprehensive.

Of course it's your choice, don't get me wrong - but consider your husband's thoughts in this scenario. He has valid reasons for what he thinks. And remember, this is "funadvice.com". We won't put up with someone asking for advice and then ranting because they received an answer they didn't want to hear.

Performing your own surgery and giving birth alone are not even comparable! Childbirth is not a procedure, it is a natural process. Women instinctively know how to give birth. They've just been scared into thinking that the hospital is the safest place to give birth; however, the U.S. has one of the highest maternal and infant mortality rates of industrialized nations.

Is he willing to read anything on unassisted childbirth? The Bornfree website is good. Laura Shanley who does this website also wrote a book called Unassisted Childbirth. There are videos on YouTube of unassisted childbirths. There is a movie called The Business of Being Born - but that focuses more on midwife-attended homebirths.

This is a good article/video

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/TurningPoints/story?id=4098198&page=1

Good luck! (I am still working on convincing my husband of the benefits)