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How to deal with a step parent i hate?

:] Asked by mrscobainx3 about 1 year ago, 7 answers.

My step dad has been my step dad since I was 4.
Hes always treated me different than he's treated his own kids,but now its just so much worse.
I think hes a loser,he never goes to work,he yells all day about anything he can find,and everythings always...

my fault,regardless of if it even makes sense or not.
I've gone to counceling over him,and phsychiatrists,and I've tried so hard to get along with him,nothing works. If I ignore him,or just dont associate him,then I'm hibernating,or not being part of the family. If I try to be nice to him and talk with him,I'm an annoyance.
My relationship with my mom is excellent,I love her more than anything.its just my step dad,who makes me feel like crap,and want to leave,every single day.

The Fiance and Me at a Luau Answered by mandyloo on Oct 27, 2008, 09:43AM
7496 answers
Advisor-small

Have you tried talking to your mom about how he makes you feel? You said you and her have a close relationship, have you really told her how miserable he makes you. Maybe she can do something about it or talk to him.
Although, she might take his side, love makes you blind and makes you foolish sometimes.
All I can say is, you dont have too much longer before you can legally move out. Just hold on and try and keep your head up high. Always be the bigger person and keep a smile on your face.

1 person thought this was helpful
Answered by pigdog on Oct 27, 2008, 10:42AM
43 answers

Since you didn't mention your biological father and your mother's husband is an @$$, I'm guessing talking with your mother isn't going to do anything about solving the problem. While I think it's important you tell your mother how you feel, don't be surprised if it ends your great relationship with her as you will resent her when she either stands up for the @$$ or does nothing. You're learning that some men are just plain @$$holes no matter what you do. And that some women's self-esteem is so low they put up with them. You have to understand you can be a completely lovable person, and still not be treated fairly by these jerks. You are also not the one who is responsible for making the steps toward a good relationship with this lame excuse for a man. What you are responsible for is not to become a woman with such low self-esteem because of being treated like this now that you do the same thing to your kids in the (distant) future.

:D Answered by kimssiej on Oct 27, 2008, 10:47AM
256 answers

I think I know how you feel. My boyfriends mom died when he was 6, but his parents were already divorced. Since he was 7 he has this stephmom that he really hates.
He didn't use to hate her this much, but 2 years ago they had a huge fight where she finally told him HOW she feels about him and she really insulted his mom and himself. Since then he hates her more then anything. When he tries to talk to her, she rolls her eyes and walks away. When he ignores her, his dad comes to him at the end of the day telling him to be more social. He and his dad have a great relationship, it's just the stephmom who's a biatch. Luckily for him, his whole family hates her. So he's not the only one, but HE'S the one who needs to live with her.

Anyway, Im sorry for the whole story. What I think that you should do is REALLY talk with your mom about it. Tell her how miserable it makes you feel, but don't blame it all on your stephdad. I'm not saying that you have to put the blame on you, but she may feel like she has to defend your stephdad if you blame all your problems on him.
Also, the only things you should say to him is this. You should tell him good morning, good night, and whenever he asks you something you should answer him. (Friendly!) You could try asking questions like what movie he is watching, but I think he will find that annoying. I know how hard it is to please someone who doesn't want to be pleased! (it sounds wrong but you know what I mean)
Last but not least, just live your life! Go out with friends, sleepover, and it wont be too long before you can legally move out, just like mandyloo sit. I'm afraid this isn't reallly great advice, but I did my best.

Oh, and if you want to know what my boyfriend did-he talked to his dad, and now his dad talked to his stephmom and they're all okay with the fact that the stephmom and my boyfriend don't talk to eachother. Also, they set a rule that whenever my boyfriend wants something or wants to do something, he asks his dad, not his stephmom.
It may be a little weird, but it does work. It wont be too long before he moves out so for a few months these rules are okay for him.

lasted summer Answered by xxheatherxxbby on Oct 27, 2008, 05:04PM
19 answers

I feel the same way about my step dad
I really dont know but if you find some thing that workk can you plzz tell me

-heather ann

Answered by xoxotiinyxoxo on Apr 20, 2009, 05:31PM
14 answers

...any way besides all of the stories and other ...things try to make things the best ...just dont talk to her...do what I did to my cousin c.j. tell your dad to kick her to the curd and run off with you and your mom...
Hope my advice helped
...Domo...

The nerd Answered by crazyguy444 on Apr 24, 2009, 03:40PM
137 answers

I know what you mean. I'm about to break my step dad's skull open on the steps. try to ignore what he says. when my step dad says im not being part of the family I just say you know that you aren't part of my family. my real dad is dead and your just a sorry @$$ excuse for a father. your one of those people who do these 'mental gymnastics' to think that your part of something you really arent. now get the f**k out of my life and my room. it really irritates him so I get in trouble a lot. but thats ok

Answered by sharinganlord93 on Sep 03, 2009, 10:04PM

I have the same problem right now with my @ss of a stepfather and he tells me im a stupid nobody but the way I get along is by leaving the house as much as possible and telling him so he understands YOURE not my dad and you mean nothing to me so then he dosent feel he has to be a parent to you and punish you like a parent. also dont call him dad call him by his name and when you leave and he says youre acting like not part of this family say that you dont care and that you listen to youre mom not him the only thing is try not to include youre mom too much because that could ruin youre relationship with her. if theres I really big problem get a job and get emancipated so you never have to live undr his rles ever again but still respect your mom

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