How do you get rid Depression and Help the others?

All of the above posts have clearly expressed themselves, so I won’t say too much except that depression is not something to take lightly. You should see a doctor right away. If you go to: http://www.akatoo.com/question.html?question_id=4028387 you can see some other suggestions on how to beat depression. Good luck.

1. There is no generalised miracle answer that anyone can give you for this. Each person’s depression is different and roots from different issues in life. To beat depression, you first of all need the support of friends and family (and a partner if you have one). So many people allow their depression to worsen by not reaching out for help and simply feeling too inadequate to do so. What you need to do is be confident and courageous enough to talk to people when you are really in need of some support and a good talk. Talking and having someone there who understands you is a really good way of fighting depression in its various forms.

Depression attacks the way you think and often result in (or from) anxiety issues. So it can be quite a task to beat the condition and get through it without a scar. What you should do is make a list of the things you want to do in the short-term and link them to what you want to do in the long-term. Every time you achieve something you can chack it off the list. One reason why this can be so helpful is because depression attacks your sense of self-worth and you often lose (also) your sense of fulfillment. Actually seeing a list of things (some/ many of which you have completed) in front of you can really help you fight against the depression and can often help you achieve more regular intervals of happiness (if not that, you can at least feel neutral).

Identifying the roots of your depression is also vital in fighting it. If you can work out what the original problems (or problem) were then you can start to address things with a much better and more informed approach. If you address the wrong issues, then you could well end up going nowhere. So if you can think about some of the issues that made you sad and start to do something about them, you have a great chance of being able to get through depression.

One other activity which is recommended by psychologists (in cognitive behavioural therapy I believe) is learning to challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs. When you feel down, stop! Think about things and actually assess the situation. Consider the situation at hand (eg. my mum screamed at me, my girlfriend paid no attention to me today, etc). Then identify what has just made you feel bad, what your various emotions are and how intense they are (eg. sad: 80/100, scared: 75/100, confused: 50/100), etc. From there, consider what your thoughts are (eg. my mum must hate me, my girlfriend doesn’t like me anymore). In other words, take note of what thoughts have derived from the situation.

Now try to think of what actually justifies your thoughts. Using the examples above, if your mum was to yell at you, in what stages of the yelling did she ever imply that she hates you? Did she ever say anything to support your thoughts? In the other example, you would have to ask yourself if your girlfriend ever did anything else to suggest she doesn’t like you? Have you had a fight recently or had any real trouble? So what you’re doing is actually looking for what can justify your pessimisms (and the chances are that there will not be a lot of supporting evidence).

After assessing why you feel bad and in what ways you feel bad, it is then time to make a challenge against those thoughts. What evidence ‘does not’ support your feelings (eg. my mum was already in a bad mood, my girlfriend just wanted to be quiet for the day and may have had a sore throat, etc). After balancing up the possibilities, think about possible alternative thoughts/ conclusions that you can make and see which one is actually more realistic. So with reference to the examples, some more balanced thoughts may be: my mum is just a little frustrated and needs some space (I have done nothing wrong), my girlfriend is just feeling a bit off today and perhaps she needs me to actually go to her and not the other way around (I have done nothing wrong). Then consider to what extent you have belief in the more positive scenario.

After having considered everything in relation to the situation, then rate your mood/ feelings again. When I was experiencing depression, I went through this program and often I would end up making some progress. Even if you make yourself feel only 5% better, that is a big improvement and with depression, you should never let yourself ignore the little steps that you take. At all times remember that you ‘are’ putting in the effort and that you ‘will’ get through this. Motivate yourself when no one else is available to do so.

Ultimately, how you fight depression will depend on your own personal circumstances and I am more than willing to address any specific issues that you have via Fun Mail or right here. I would strongly recommend that you consult a social worker or counsellor/ psychologist about this because they can be really helpful in helping you to identify the roots of your problems and they can often help you make plans as to how you can address those issues. Don’t feel bad about reaching out (you’ve come here and that is a start) :)!

2. With helping the others, it depends on what they are going through. If they are also experiencing depression, then maybe try developing a support network with them. Make sure that you always stay in contact with them and you make sure they all get to know each other (if they don’t know each other already) and see if you can draw strength from each other. Sometimes it is good to know that you’re not alone and that other people are going through this. Instead of going through it alone with all of them, go through it together and that will make things much easier for all of you.

Organise a common meeting place for all of you and once (or more) a week, meet up and talk about things. Have fun, play some sport and be active. Participating in sport/ physical activity is a great way to relieve yourself of stress. Stress is something that can often feed anxiety and depression and if you can eliminate them, you can really slow down the cycle which is obviously a great thing. So participate and be active in the lives of these people and make sure that you are all there to support each other. If you can do that, you should all be able to get through this :).

Try to turn the negatives in each of your lives into positives for others. Use what knowledge you have gained from your experiences to inform, strengthen and empower those around you who also need help. You can make a big difference and so can they. Most importantly, find a way in which you can all talk to each other about everything. Get all of your pessimisms and bad thoughts off your chest. You and the others will feel a great sense of relief (a natural mental/ emotional response) seeing as you have all been able to be open and expressive.

3. Making people understand you better is not difficult. All you need to do is work out ways in which you can be yourself and have others see it. I am best at being myself when I am in the presense of at least one person that I know and trust. Sometimes we just need that little bit of safety and approval before we can really start to be outgoing and so in terms of meeting new people, don’t try to do it alone. Go out with a friend and try from there. People (even those who you don’t know) will understand you better if you can be yourself.

As for people you already know who may not understand you, the key is of course to be open. If you think that your friends will not accept you because of something you are not telling them, then you have to think… Are they really your friends if they won’t like you for who you really are? You need to work on being more open to those you are closer to. Talking and being able to be honest with others is another great means of fighting depression. Holding back is one of your worst enemies and can lead to a lot of stress and it can alsoe provoke a great number of pessimistic thoughts.

Talk to your closest friend(s) about the issues you are having and talk to them about the things that you don’t think other people will understand. Sometimes being open takes practise and so why not practise with people that you know and trust? It will make it easier to be honest with others once you know that at least some people understand you.

4. As for the issue with your ear… I would recommend that you speak to a doctor in relation to this (if you haven’t already). There are a lot of medical options available to you which could be able to eliminate this issue. I will now ask you a question here (lol)… In what way do things not seem real? Is this in relation to your ear or are you referring to your overall situation?

I do understand what you mean in relation to the ‘shell’ because very rarely I get that feeling, but it comes and goes and is very rare. I am assuming that your deafness (semi-deafness) has been addressed already.