How can I get a better writing style?

I don't like my writing style.

At first it seems too simple, and everything goes too quick. Like as if it goes to one thing or another.

But then when I try putting things in it to make it a bit better, it ends up getting complicated, and I'm scared the reader will be confused!

I've read somebody else's writing, and I really want it to be like that. It's the perfect writing style! Here's one of the paragraphs she wrote:

'Kailee...'

Slowly my senses came back to me. The cause for the arousal of my awareness was the calling of my name, though it sounded warped and very, very far away. I groaned slightly, scrunching up my face and rolling over, attempting to block it out. But it was very persistent for a disembodied voice.

'Kailee...' It repeated again and this time I became aware of a pressure on my shoulder and the feeling of a slight shaking. Light began to permeate the darkness and the quiet lull over my mind slipped away faster and faster by the second. Besides the voice, I became aware of a dull and repetitive roar, systematically followed by a crash. I was also aware of a solid, rather gritty surface beneath me. Eventually I gave in as I became aware of the fact that I was awake, slowly fluttering my eyes open to be met with a dimly lit gray sky.

I love her writing style so much! This wasn't published into a book, it was published on the internet on quizilla.

And she's only 4 years older than me(17)! I know I wont be as good as her, and I don't want to copy her or anything. But I want to have writing something like her's

Thanks!

read a lot, and put lots of time into whatever you plan to write. for me, when I'm really into my story, it just kind of...flows out of me. I don't have to like think about it or anything. if that happens to you, you're doing well.

I don't know if this is good advice but I'll try my best to explain what I'm trying to say

Okay, When I write stories, I picture everything that is happening, just like a movie. I like to give my character real personalities of somebody else. I put myself in the character's perspective and I pretend everything I write, is happening to me. That way, I could express and FEEL the emotions of the character as he/she goes through events.

I don't know if I'm making a lot of sense,

xoxo
ErRorinlife

The style of writing you illustrated paints a mental picture. A picture is painted one stroke at a time. I suggest that you write down your original sentence as a guide for what you want to say. Then, using another sentence, elaborate on it by including the colorful details you find pleasing. In time you will see that it takes a calm focused mind and lots of practice. Enroll in some writing or public speaking classes. You will find that they help develop your thought process in that direction. When I write, I often include more commas and semi-colons than may considered appropriate; because I want the reader to pause an instant, between my brush strokes, to give their minds the time to grasp the whole concept of my statement. I hope this helped.

Well I'm actually in a hardcore writing class and there are some things that you can do to improve your writing ablility. You're probably going to get this a lot, but you have to be your character/object in whatever you write. Even if you don't realize it, you think do about what is happing or what has happened, step-by-step, and if you don't have EVERYTHING written down that you were thinking than yes someone could easily get confused. I mean instead of maybe stating that a person was puzzled and then just giong on with the story, you could say, 'Sandy was perplexed, as she lightly tapped the end of her dull, red pencil on the ever empty pages of her vacnat journal.' I know not very good, just off the top of my head. But what I'm just meaning to say is put as much creativity in it that you can, but it has to sound believable. You can be a great writer so don't down yourself, you'll probably be better than that girl someday, just work at it hard!!!

If you read a lot of novels, and get more familiar with different words, you will probley start using them a lot more often. And if you come across words that you don't completely understand, it wouldn't hurt to look them up. I found that once I started learning new words, I started using them more often and it increases your vocabulary.

By reading books, and taking bits and pieces of their style and then mixing it all together and making it your style is one way.