Heres a poem I just wrote tell me if you like it?

Hey this is kamari again with another poem for those who dont know my moms been on drugs for most of my life when I was young my mom use to be my hero as for most kids but that image of her has slowly slipped away over the years wirting poetry helps with my problems with my mom heres a poem I just wrote tell me if you like it honest opinion please

Falls

When your hero falls from grace
All fairy tales are uncovered
Myths exposed and pain magnified
The greatest pain discovered
You taught me 2 be strong
But im confused 2 c you so weak
You said never 2 give up
And it hurts 2 c you welcome defeat

When ure hero falls so do the stars
And so does the perception of tomorrow
Without my hero there is only
Me alone 2 deal with my sorrow
Your heart ceases 2 work
And your soul is not happy at all
What are you expected 2 do
When ure only hero falls

Thats wats up...This shits deep...

I think its amazing because I ge it most girls have there my to look up to they think when I grow up im guna be like mommy, but what hpns when your mommy isn't that person nymore. Its great esp that you express urself in poetry!

This poems really deep it gets you thinking about how tough life can be and makees you realize what you thought you had can be taken away to such things as drugs. You did a wonderful job expressing your deepest of pain.

Not bad; you're on the right way. The feeling is there and the words will come with practice. "So short the life, so long the craft to learn" wrote Geoffrey Chaucer, about 600 years ago. Poems don't need to rhyme, so don't reject the right word for rhyme. Metre is much more important - try singing the poem and you'll see what I mean. Poets have to have something to say - and you have - or they end up writing doggerel. I still can't write poems in English.

That's lovely, and you've found a fantastic way to deal with expressing your darkest feelings - better than getting involded with drugsor sex e.t.c.
Keep writing and you'll only get better
x

thats awsome!!

I thnk its awesome! I got the chills!