Are we too young to fall in love?

im 14 and engaged, me and my boyfriend love eachother.. but I hate it when people say aren't you too young!!

Any one think were too young?

Because I don't think your too young too fall in love!!??!!

Thanks X

Charlotte xXx

Thanks for commenting =] xXx

I dont think your going to get the answers you want to hear.

Whats the hurry?? Yes, you ARE too young. You are still a child. Neither of you has finished growing up yet. As we grow, we change. It means that in three years time, you will be both be different people. Not better, not worse, not wiser, just different. And you might not want to marry each other.

Love is not forever at such a young age.(rarely) Everyone goes through 'puppy love' and 'first love' and various levels of relationships. It is part of the learning process. You will learn what is important, what isn't, what matters to you and what doesn't. You have to learn what makes a lasting relationship by having a few work and not work. Some teenagers change boyfriends or girlfriends more often than they change their underwear! A rare few stay dating the same person throughout their senior high school years. However, such relationships rarely last much beyond senior high school graduation as many go in different directions.

Being in love is a powerful feeling. The emotions are intense. It is so exciting that it may be hard to concentrate on taking care of school or work or family responsibilities. Sometimes people confuse real love with the possessive love they may see on TV or the movies. Real, mature love takes more time to develop. Many teens believe they are in love. They may be in love in an immature way. Sometimes teens or adults in love give up all their friends. Sometimes they stop doing activities they enjoy. Some have jealous partners that never let them be alone or with another person. They are jealous of any time their loved one talks to another person. Others are forced to do things they do not want to do, or are in a violent relationship. These are unhealthy relationships. This is not love.

Mature love lets you be you. People in mature love have common interests, and are honest with each other. People who share mature love do not see the other person as the solution to their problems. They see the other person as a wonderful gift. Mature love relationships do not cause people to give up their values. Most of the time this mature love comes when we are beyond our teen years.

There's no chance you're not too young. If you weren't too young, you wouldn't have asked this question.
You're not too young to really care for this boy, and maybe even to feel love for him, but being engaged is just silly.

hey charlotte
I am engaged to and I am 13 I have told my best friend and thats it the first thing
she sed to me was are you sure and can she be a bridemaid lol
no one is too young to fall in love thats what my mum said
just forget every one who says it and just carry on !

can I ask a tiny question !

how did you tell your mum?
I am stuck on that ting part lol

Yeah, seriously. Getting engaged at thirteen and fourteen? I did get engaged when I was five, but I think I knew I was playing house.

I honestly think 19 is to young to get married. My cousin got married at 19 and she divorced in a month and still is 19. No need to rush into it my gosh. you cant get jobs to pay for the wedding. I have friends that are marreid at 19 and they bicker all the time. So I think it would be best no be engaged I think its dumb and at that age. When I was 14 I could care less about a relationship it was all about my friends and having fun not being tied down to one person. Then think when you want out of the marriage, go thru all that bull crap to get out of it. Nothing is wrong with just being with them w/o a ring. What if he changes his mind and you get hurt cause you were all excited or vise versa. I say that you should just stick with just b/f and g/f no need to think about marriage

just cause you love someone doesnt mean you get married just so ya know

You CAN be in love at 14. But you don't have to get engaged! God, why the hell do you want to grow up so fast?!!
Stay a kid for a while longer.
Enjoy being a kid for as long as you can.
And if, in a few years, you still love your boyfriend, THEN get engaged to him. And marry him. Just make sure you're in love and it
s not just lust.

Guys...Im not going to get married untill im around 20-21! Just so you know! For now were just engaged and happy!

And it's not 'silly' as some said!

Charlotte X

...let us know if you're still IN LOVE with each other when you're twenty-one. I highly doubt it, and so does everyone who is past the age of eighteen.

And there's a reason for that. I do know a few people who got engaged when they were fifteen who made it to marriage, and they're Hmong.

Too young to be engaged, too young for proper logic & reasoning...

Exactly how legitamate is this engagement? Do you have yours, and his parents blessing? Do you have a diamond ring? Have you announced it to everyone, and put it in the paper?

Honestly, if I had a 14 yr old daughter, and she told me she was engaged, I'd seriously think she was joking. Please come back here in 6 years. (if this site is still around), and let us know if you are still with the same boy! We'd loved to have you prove us wrong, but in all honesty...I really think you are being the silly one!

yes.. mi parents do no about it dey sed as long as im happy same wiv his!

And yes evry1 dus no bout it!

And yes I do have a diamond ring!

And yes it is official!

So =P

Where did he get the money to pay for a ring, when hes barely old enough to get a job? I think your living in a fantasy world, and in 3 years your going to wake up, and realize it was just a dream.

Like I said before...come back here in a few years, and let us know if your still with him, because I would bet money on it that you wont be! Trust me>your very young, and very foolish. First love is always very confusing. He isnt your true love. He wont come around till later in your life.

>>>yes.. mi parents do no about it dey sed as long as im happy same wiv his!

My god. What kind of parents do you and your boyfriend have? I'm guessing they're rich, in which case I can't blame you for being this stupid. I mean, seriously?

Move over, Paris Hilton!

Hahaha...

You aren't too young to fall in love but you are WAAAYYY too young to be engaged. Guarantee you, few months from now you guys won't even be together. Just stay boyfriend and girlfriend until you both decide what to do with your lives.

Oh, and I assume he got you an expensive ring?

okay, this is slightly ridiculous. you are fourteen, right? oh my gosh. come on. how long have you two been together? a month or two? less?

I'm almost seventeen, and I've been with my boyfriend for over two years (since we were fourteen). I want to marry him, yes. but we're waiting to get engaged. I want him to surprise me. I want him to be able to afford a ring for me. and I want my parents to know we love each other.

there's no way at fourteen you know how you feel for sure about this boy. and there's no way you know him inside and out...

it took me a year into my relationship to realize my love for my boyfriend, and it's definitely still growing. he's my best friend, and I know as life goes on, so will my love - it will grow.

you are way too young to be engaged. one day you'll grow up and realize it was so stupid to have done that.

until then, just wait until you get to that point. don't make BIGGER mistakes.

sorry that this is my 3rd post, but I forgot some stuff and my computer messed up, so I did it over. both have interesting points, anyway.

So what if we are rich???

and ye he gt me a much nycer ring...betta dan da 1 you will get!

Na na na na my ring is better than yours! Waaah.

Grow up. No one cares about your income.

You are too young to be engaged. You wanted opinions, so don't get pissy when they're not the reactions you wanted to hear. Honestly. Be sure to come back on this website and update us all when you are married in 7+ years, k?

>>>So what if we are rich???

It shows. Only rich parents would be okay with their fourteen-year-old daughter being engaged 'as long as she's happy.' Their being rich also explains how your teenage boyfriend could actually afford a diamond ring. You know, that's called bad parenting - the reason you're still so spoiled when you're technically old enough to know better. I'm not sure how famous Paris Hilton is in the U.K., but you should Google her. That's pretty much you in the future.

I'm afraid that you're nowhere as intelligent as you think you are. I have a feeling that you won't even realize how stupid you're being by the time you're twenty-three (Paris Hilton didn't). You also will make a lousy lawyer with the kind of rebuttals you've offered so far.

xiigzag... I wouldn't have compared her to Paris Hilton. That might make her happy.

'and ye he gt me a much nycer ring...betta dan da 1 you will get'!
^That just goes to show your maturity level.^

For one thing, you cant spell, let alone speak proper english...what makes you think your old enough to know what you want right now? You dont, but you wont realize that for at least another 4+ years! With age comes wisdom. You are experiencing first love, which is just that. Trust me when I say...he will NOT be your last.

Parents often mistake material objects as items that will create a perfect world for their child. They mistakenly believe that their child will be happier because they have 'stuff' (especially the stuff the parent didn't have as a child). They want their child to be liked, to keep up the neighborhood friends, and to show that they love their child to know end. It is these mistaken beliefs that result in the spoiling of a child.

Children don't need all the latest and greatest toys. They need parents who love them unconditionally and give them the strong moral and ethical basis that is needed to survive in this world. Children need parents who read with them, teach them how to climb trees and see dinosaurs in the clouds- not parents who will encourage their 14 yr old daughter to get engaged. All the material things in this world create short lived happiness. It is wonderful to be able to provide these things for a child but it is so much more noble to raise a happy, self-sufficient confident kid that can survive without all the luxuries in life.

To the people who can not read short hand I will write in English for you..

>>>tmsharp ...I do know how to spell nicer I just wrote 'nycer' because I was using short hand..it's what we use over here in england ok?

>>> xiigzag... why would I not know who Paris Hilton is? I probably know more about the united states and your celebrities than you (and you live there)! My Dad is from America! So of course I know of Paris Hilton..And that's pretty much not me in the future! And any way Paris isn't a bad person she is just differant and she deals with things differantly to every one else

Oh and another thing, the whole me 'not being a good lawyer thing', I will have you know that I have done most of my G.C.S.E coursework and earned an A*- In English Literature, a A in English, B In French, A* In History, A In Drama and Performance and still more to come so please do not patronise me and say that im not as clever as I think OK!

Thing is I dont think you can really handle some people being mature at my age and you don't think that I have reasonablly sensible and mature answers at my age, which if I may add is a little arrogant!

>>>sarahhh..please lets not start another little debate over something we disagree over because being Paris Hilton wouldn't make me happy..being me and with the person I love would.
And I wont be on this website in 7 years I will have better things to do with my life than sit on my laptop and go on this crap every day! I'm also not the one who started going on about my mum's and dad's income...and we are not 'Rich' we are just better off! Im Sorry, I don't go round living on 'mummys and daddys credit card' I believe in working for your money and I work in a poxy little cafe on the sea side on the weekends for my money I don't even use my parents money, so...

But please if any one has anything else they would like to throw at me go ahead..

Are you saying my parents do not loved me unconditionally? My mum is very srict with me actually! And I can spell its short hand for the last time!!

>>>I probably know more about the united states and your celebrities than you

...yeah, too bad for me I don't know who Hannah Montana is.

>>>Oh and another thing, the whole me 'not being a good lawyer thing', I will have you know that I have done most of my G.C.S.E coursework and earned an A*- In English Literature, a A in English, B In French, A* In History, A In Drama and Performance and still more to come so please do not patronise me and say that im not as clever as I think OK!

If you were as clever as you think you are, you would understand that your grades say nothing about your intelligence. But since the first thing you did was actually list them... you must have no other backup to prove how clever you are.

>>>you don't think that I have reasonablly sensible and mature answers at my age

No, I don't think so; I KNOW so. Unlike you, I have the ability to tell how reasonable, sensible, and mature someone is by reading what he/she/it has written. All your posts so far have gotten you to the other side of the spectrum. Pity that.

>>>Are you saying my parents do not loved me unconditionally?

I don't know about the others, but I was saying that your parents are being terrible parents. They have been spoiling you for so long and now, at fourteen, you are rotting indefinitely. If I ever had a daughter who turned out like you, I would do society a favor and lock her in my basement. Then I'd punish myself for failing in my duty as a parent by spending 24/7 with her until she becomes a socially acceptable human being.

>>>My mum is very srict with me actually!

Your mum is okay with your being engaged to a sixteen-year-old boy. She may be strict according to your meter, but I highly doubt that's the case.

>>>we are not 'Rich' we are just better off!

Your sixteen-year-old boyfriend bought you a diamond ring. I think his parents had/has been giving him a little too much allowance.

I like flame wars.

First of all, I'm not 'starting a debate' And uhh.. where did I say ANYTHING about you not working for your money? I work damn hard for mine.

I know this has nothing to do with anything but if you ACTUALLY knew anything about Paris Hilton, you would not speak highly of her at all. I live right next to Hollywood, I've seen her in person. She's stupid. Dumb. Whatever else. There is nothing good to say about that girl... 'oh look at me using my grandaddy's money I inherited! What's that officer? Oh, yeah I FORGOT about that suspended license.. sorry! I am only famous because I inherited my money. Aren't I cool? Sex tapes are cool!'

I NEVER spoke highly of her I just said she deals with things differantly, and I believe there is good and bad in every one. And I know what she done bad, and I think you will actually find people only discovered her AFTER the sex tape was released, and she never wanted to sell it (at first) but she did after because she wanted a cut in the money, now I'm not saying thats good, but she just made the wrong decision in life thats all Sarah!

Xiigzag>>Your comments are so pathetic how could you even say my parents are terrible!? That is just so wrong! My parents only ever look out for me! My mum is sooo protective of me, but she can see what a nice young boy Benjamin is! And my boyfriend used some money which his gran left him in her will to buy my ring. So he is not spoilt. Oh and for the last time im not spoilt, did you not hear about me working for my money?

Were engaged thats all, all it is, is a sign of him promising me marrige in the future!

Is that so bad, I really do wish you could see what he is like, when he tells me he loves me and he looks me in the eye and he cries in my arms when something bad has happened. He is just so ...ahhh... I cant even describe him. Not many men would do that you know. I just wish people would stop thinking 'oh their going to break up because their too young' because it's absolute crap!

Just accept it please. Because I hate arguing and having to put up a fight right now just to show that we are ment to be together!!

>>>He is just so ...ahhh... I cant even describe him.

I totally understand! I mean, I was born yesterday and have no idea how it feels to be fourteen, but I totally understand!

>>>I just wish people would stop thinking 'oh their going to break up because their too young' because it's absolute crap!

Yeah, it's awful how people assume you and Benjamin will end up as any other young couples, isn't it? I mean, just because there's a consistent pattern in the fate of young love doesn't mean you'll be one of them. You're like the exception, and you totally have God's blessing.

>>>Just accept it please.

I accept that you're engaged, it's your life and obviously I have no say in it. Doesn't mean you're not being silly and... oddly naive. Maybe you will get married to Benjamin after all, but I have a feeling he won't be your last husband.

Till divorce do you apart. Cheers.

Well, if I were your parent I would definitely support your decision to be engaged to be married, so long as your husband to be took care of you and provided you a home while you finished school. I look at this way, if two people no matter what age as long as fourteen and over want to marry, they should take on more adult responsibilites and that means taking care of their ownselves. Id say to you if you want to marry this guy and live with him and make a family go ahead, but he's gotta be able to take care of you because after your married you guys aren't living here with me. I can tell you and everyone can tell you that your too young but it doesn't mean that you are really listening or hearing what people are really trying to tell you. So by experience then you'll grow to understand just what everyone was talking about. It will be like having a V-8 moment. If your marriage survives a year to two years then you know you and your husband could make it to five years but chances are slim when it comes to marrying young, because people grow up and people do change, a marriage changes too if you allow them to. A change can go either way, bad or good.

Thanks for your advice 'dvn2d'

BUt xiizag your just pathetic

ok...I don't really like xiggzag but he might be right. I'm all for love but 14 is a bit young. what happened to the 'no dating until your 16 thing?' Thats the universal rule. Just look at families in America, the UK. Mexico, and lets not forget sitcoms. lol. I wish you too the best of luck.

Cheers__X

>>>what happened to the 'no dating until your 16 thing?'

Oh, bad parenting and stuff.

Ok.. I'm NOT EVEN about to get in a stupid fight about Paris Hilton. Honestly.

Alright so he's not spoiled, he's just stupid. Who blows money on a ring for a 14 that was given to him? If all you guys want is a 'promise for marriage' later in life, then get a promise ring or something. Engagement is a REALLY BIG DEAL, kid. I know how it feels to be feeling all those feelings at your age.. I've been there too. Just saying, you're in for a big surprise if you really think that you're going to last forever.

it cut off part of my response... blows money on a ring for a 14 year old girl*

I agree with you, sarahhh.
completely.
my boyfriend and I are thinking about getting engaged when we are SEVENTEEN, and we have been together since we were fourteen. it's still young, but nowhere near as young as fourteen, and we are much more mature than that. I can't even imagine getting engaged at fourteen, even if I had been with the guy since I was six.

goodness. and the kids just a YEAR younger than me are so much different than my age and older -- there are four girls I know a YEAR younger than me that had kids in 7/8/9/10 grades (each girl in a diff grade, except for the one this year, 10th, but shes about to have it next month)...its ridiculous. nobody I know my age has had one, but the grade below me...wow.

kids are getting worse and worse with each year it seems, and they start young now. their parents need to raise them better.

I'm not saying Charlotte is doing this, but if she has been with her boyfriend as long as she says, I wouldn't be surprised. My point is kids her age are so immature now-- more immature than they should be, yet they think they aren't! they try to grow up so fast. one day, they'll all look back and wish they could have their childhood back.

I wish I had it back...I miss being a child. and now I'm almost grown...

yes, I ranted...but I hope it taught some people something...

heck no people tell me that too. thats BS that's what people tell me and my boyfriend we been going out for 9months and we love eachother so yea...

A person who loves me thats who Sarah!!

It's stuff like this that makes me so concerned...

Why are kids these days so desperate to be treated like grown ups, yet they want none of the responsibility? Is it like the new fashion statement or something? Like, 'Race your mates to see who can get engaged/married first, because that means you're totally mature and grown up and stuff!' Sgt_harris said it well in a post when he said 'Babies aren't handbags'- engagements/marriage isn't the latest fashion statement either!

Maybe it seems a little simple of me, but when I was 14 I was thinking more about my favourite bands, having sleepovers with my girlfriends, making smoke bombs with my guy mates... all the fun stuff you do when you're a kid. Charlotte, you need to take the time to be a kid.

I've seen girls in this situation before- they get engaged at 15, with the idea they'll get married when they're 21 or so. Then about a year down the track, the novelty of being engaged has worn off, and they're pushing the wedding forward. Blah. Getting engaged and going ahead with a wedding is not the big thing- the big thing is making a marriage work. Do yourself a favour and live with him before you decide you want to get engaged. If you can honestly say you still love him when he clips his toenails in front of you, leaves the bathroom smelling appalling, has wads of earwax all over his pillow, and kisses you with morning breath, then you're really getting somewhere.

Also, I don't know why you're getting so anti on Sarah- she offered her opinion, like you asked for. If you didn't like it, you could have ignored it. That would be the mature thing to do. But that's just my honest opinion.

Oh, and for the record, 'nycer' is not considered 'shorthand'. Shorthand entails that the word is actually shorter. Last I checked, the spelling of 'nicer' also had 5 letters.

noone can say you're too young for love. I'm fifteen and engaged. getting married on my sixteenth birthday next november. everyone keeps saying oh, you're too young but good luck anyway. noones ever too young for anything. if it feels right to you then it is right to you. my fiance is 14 fifteen tomro no difference tho.

that girl above me is DEFINITELY too young to be getting married.
if someone older than you, and more mature and experienced than you, is TELLING you you are too young or/and immature, they are most likely RIGHT. especially if you hear it from almost everyone.

you all need to concentrate on being teenagers, seriously.
you're all very immature, saying you're engaged already. and about to get married.
you can tell you aren't mature when you can't even SPELL.

Hmmm... looking at sxckaylaluvsian's response, I'm inclined to disagree with the comment 'no one's ever too young for anything'. In fact, I highly debate it. If that were my frame of mind, I'd be condoning 11 year olds having sexual intercourse (unfortunately, I know cases that it has happened).

I was first engaged at 19- and I'm the first to admit, I was way too young then. I've grown up a lot since then, it may have only been two years, but you'd be surprised. Now I'm getting married to my current partner in a few months- after having almost 2 years of arguments, tears, laughter, tough times and fantastic times as a couple, more than that just being friends. You need time and experience to build a relationship up to the point that you're ready to make a vow to stay by this person for the rest of your life, something I don't believe you can have until you've gone through at least the majority of your teenage years. It's not something that happens overnight.

You may not be too young for love, but I most certainly think you're too young to make such a huge commitment as to get engaged and/or married.

I dont think were 2 young 2 fall in love but who gets in gaged at 14 im 13 I mean its alright to have a boy friend but who would get engaged at that age ushaly when I go out with boys we last like I month I dont think that at age 14 you will last with a boy like forever.

sooo how did your 14 year old boyfriend pay for your diamond ring?
yeah thats what I thought. you're too young

he's 16 wierdo

Basically my reply is... Im 13, I think im in 'love' but who knows it could possibly just be lust too early to know and too young to realise...
My boyfriend and I really like eachother obviously and we say we love eachotehr etc... but I would go as far as marrying him at 13...
My mum was 16 when she got pregnant with my brother and engaged with my dad... she then gave birth at 17 and again at 20 (with me)...
Some people might call this kinda slaggy or sutin but she is still with my dad after 16 years and we are not poor or anything we are like a normal family just with younger parents I geuss...
so this kinda shows that at 16 its not too young to make decisions like that etc but at 13/14???
Any parent that lets their child get enganged/married art 13/14 years old blaitantly doesnt take enough notice of their daughter... if I came home and said mum im getting engaged my mum would laugh and when I tell her im serious she wouldnt be like NO WAY but she would be seriously worried and probably would talk me out of it...

So my advice is not to rush into things and to see where things are in like 3 years or so... If you are still together then well done from me... gold star for you... and just one thing to all the other people who are killing you glory/knocking sense into you...
1) your never too young to 'fall in love' just make sure its actually love and that its with the right person first...
2) You ARE too young to get married no matter what you may think its a big decision...

x

It's your life, live it your way,f**k all haters...
If someone tells you fire is hot you don't just accept that it's hot you will want to experience it 4 urself,just 2 be on da safe said rite?every1 just assuming things will go wrong,but who knows???

And I 4got 2 add if you get burnt it will be your cross 2 carry...ight,PEACE and good luck

Cheeez.x

you're so immature, little girl. I hope you notice all the older girls with EXPERIENCE are telling you not to do this at such a young age. and all the immature and/or younger girls are saying go for it, because they have no idea, same as you.

well I am 16 and me and my boyfriend are engaged. but we have been together an awfully long time probably longer than you.
at the end of the day it is your life and up to you what you do.
all these people are just advising but its you who decides in the end.

whoa sum of you guys are being way too harsh love is love if your in love ok but I dunno about the whole being engaged thing if its really love you should wait till your at least 18 to be engaged

Ha! No! I had a boyfriend when I was 3/4 years old!

Hm...this is a very long thread...and yeah, you are WAY too young.

you guys arent 2 young because you cant help what you feel in your heart..
im only 14 and I been and love!!

Your Deffinatly not to young to be in Love For your first time im only 16 I wasnt there long ago... I was in Love... But thought at the moment it feels like You and your boyfriend are going to be together forever. You probly wont be. People Change so much especially in the next couple of years for you.
People who are saying 'U Cant be in love its impossible' They might have not been at the same level you are right now... but when/ or if things fall apart dont worry bc your older your change and your heart will heal...

you arent too young to fall in love. but you are a bit too young to be engaged or even married.

Way too young

Be engaged, whatever... just don't get married until you're at least out of high school! Out of college, preferably. Trust me, you'll probably get older and find someone you like better. Or you'll realize you'd rather be single for a while! That might sound crazy, but when you get older, sometimes you're happy to be single. You don't want to never be single again at the age of 14. I'm 21, and that sounds like a total nightmare.

At 14, your personality will change so much in the next few years. You're going to grow up, learn new things, have new experiences... wait until you've grown up more before you commit to a guy for life. I shudder to think of who I would have married if I'd done it at age 14... here's what happened to the guys I liked when I was that age...
a) a guy who ended up being gay
b) a guy who got kicked out of high school for skipping all the time to have sex with his girlfriend while their parents were at work
c) a guy who is now the biggest nerd ever
d) a guy who is now a drug dealer

The boyfriends I had at age 17, 19, and 20 were much better than those guys, and I have no doubts that I will meet even better men as I get older! Eventually, I'll probably find the man I'll marry, and it'll be great. Don't be in a hurry... enjoy your teen years and don't be in a rush to settle down.

You're not too young too fall in love, but you're too young to get married.

honestly I think that a lot of people think they are in love and this is one way to find out. my whole family believes this:
would you be willing to give up EVERYTHING for him? Your family your money, yourself? And will he love you even if you get cancer or really sick.