I don't want my dad to keep hating me

So...I don't know what I should do...My dad is really mean...but I guess I have it good compared to other people..ya know? Like...he doesn't hit me...Much. Everyonce in a while he will smack me up side the head or pull my hair..but the last thing he did was kick me and I fell to the ground. He kicked me because I was going to start the laundry... =| Just recently he threatened me. He said he was going to 'Beat the living Sh*t out of' me. But I dunno, my mom was going to call the cops but then she said I should talk to my aunt or grandma...but I am too scared to let anyone know...
I know I should...But if nothing happens...I dont want him to hate me anymore than he does. I don't know..Helpp?

MY boyfriend HAS THAT PROB AND YOU HAVE TO GO TALK TO THEM IT WILL MAKE YOU FELL SO MUCH BETER I HAVE A F*C*ED UP LIFE AND ALL TO AND THATS A GOOD THING THAT YOU HAVE SOME ONE TO TALK TO SO DO IT you HAVE TO ITS THE ONLEY WAY THINGS MIGHT GET BETTER SO LIKE YEA IF you NEED TO TALK IM HERE 4 YOU JUST MSG ME

eh.I don't know if he is getting to hurt you more fu*ckin call stupid cops. but eh emotional things counselors but eh I don't know only if you want

Call social services, talk to a counselor, etc. Nobody should have to go through that kind of abuse.

yea I would try to find away to cal lthe police and let them beaware of what is going on, UMm I went through abuse too so I know how it feels, I would start out by talking to a very I mean very close friend and maybe see if they can help you out

u should be extra nice to them spend more time with himif that dont work I dont know

its still abuse he has hit you, nobody has that right, ever. they say its an accident, but its not they meant to harm you in some way. dont hesitate to get some help. speak out. your not alone. dont wait around for the next episode, your mum knows its wrong you know its wrong. call the police, social services anyone that can help you. get the help its there, you know its there, dont be scared take the stand, many people dont and they feel like you do. dont suffer. speak up!!!

good luck, dont wait about.
from naomi.

call child services or something, the dude deserves to be locked up if he hits you in such a way for such menial reasons. I believe in spanking as a form of punishment, but not so hard that it causes permanent damage, and only in the most severe cases (like if I had a 4 or 5 year old, and he/she tried to cut up another child, or something extreme)

But never on the head or anything like that, that's not disciplining, that's just abuse. You can't make someone like you, you can't make someone love you, if someone treats you badly and abuses you, call the police, and let them get what's coming to them. Maybe while he's locked up he'll realize that he should treat you better. If he doesn't, then don't worry about it. It sucks, but there are a lot of good people out there that can offer you friendship and support. Remember, you're not alone.

He's a man and you're a relatively weak person. He may have stress issues from humiliating subservience in the workforce and he may have the unacceptable weakness of taking out his frustration on you. Try telling him that you understand that he is not the boss at work, that whatever is related to his low self esteem is something that you can relate to, and that you would rather help him find a better situation. Try not to gang up on him between you and your mother, this society is based upon equality and fairness and there is often a culture of meaniality and limitation and discrimination that is not your fault but could be a perception of his real or imagined. Treat the man with respect and know when to draw the line and seek intervention because there is no excuse for such abuse except for you to understand that the paternal love for you has been replaced with unjustifiable abuse. Suggest to your mother to make him feel like the breadwinner and not just a convenient provider of a paycheck. It is your duty to honour your parents in a Christian society, only use this opinion to assist you in justifying your personal circumstancial situation and seeking an acceptable outcome for your family.

I had the same problem my dad has kicked me out of the house .. it sux but I am living wiht him agin but he often hits me and my brothers or throws stuff at us it sux

andy, it is important to honor your mother and father, if you're christian and believe that, however if she's in immediate harm, before sorting things out she needs to get removed from harm. Her father might hit too hard one day and kill her. Calling the police wouldn't be dishonoring him either, it would be in effect getting him help(court mandated counseling, he definitely needs some counseling. People that abuse other people don't just stop after one talking to.) Besides, you don't know for sure if he is the breadwinner. The mother might be the main supplier of income in the family, she didn't specify.

Now, I do believe in spanking and light physical discipline, however there is a difference between punishment and abuse. A good christian can punish, as long as it's reasonable, and still be ok in god's eyes(depending on your personal beliefs, of course), but no god in any of the current major religions tolerates abuse, or even punishment that doesn't fit the crime.

god didn't destroy sodom and ghemorra (not sure on the spelling) just because a few people were sinning majorly. He did it because everyone was. (except the one innocent that was found, or was it innocent family?)

andyburton stated -
'He's a man and you're a relatively weak person.'

'Try not to gang up on him between you and your mother, this society is based upon equality and fairness and there is often a culture of meaniality and limitation and discrimination that is not your fault but could be a perception of his real or imagined.'

'Treat the man with respect '

'Suggest to your mother to make him feel like the breadwinner and not just a convenient provider of a paycheck.'

'It is your duty to honour your parents in a Christian society, only use this opinion to assist you in justifying your personal circumstancial situation and seeking an acceptable outcome for your family.'

sammirae_x3 - the next time your father kicks you and you fall to the ground, stop and take the time to remember that it is YOUR job to make your father feel better about himself. just say, 'dad, I love and respect you and I know that society and all those evil womens libbers have made you feel less than a man. you are the head of this family and mom and I need to remember and respect that.'
and when he threatens to beat the sh*t out of you , you need to honor him, he is your father and has a christian right to beat the crap out of you because your mom makes him feel as if he is only a paycheck.

andyburton has just given some of the WORST advice on this site.
he obviously has some 'personal' issues in his own life and should not be addressing them here.
PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT YOU ARE AT FAULT IN ANY WAY. YOUR FATHER IS A BULLY AND NEEDS HELP.
I wish that your mother would call the police but she might not. she might be too scared to take that step.
you should contact social services, a teacher, a friend's parent, the police...anyone that can help remove you from that abusive house...

many times social services can help place you with a relative instead of in foster care...
and remember, your father doesn't hate you, he hates himself. it has NOTHING to do with you...

amoeba: I just read your response to the child whose father is kicking and hitting her. WORST ADVICE EVER!!! what were you thinking?

A father can put his foot on the backside of a girl and push her gently to get her response so as to teach her to be assertive, is this kicking?. Hitting her could be for the same reason, or a slap upside the head was used as an old method of discipline so it is better that a concussion, what force constitutes hitting? There is no measure of force except to allow the girl to decide herself what is necessary for her to act like a police officer and deliver justice through her involvement with the system in accordance with the ideas of a continuum of force understanding as is suggested to be reasonable by her civil liberties associations. To be kicked to the ground is not to be pushed but is there a bruise, I do not know. She allows us to presume and assume and I am not biased partially towards condemnation of what behaviour is not my personal business.

To be required to be 13 years old is to be required to be a young woman in some opinions and some societies so arguably children do not exist on this site legitimately.

she stated that her father hits her and had kicked her so that she fell down...
not gently tugged at her hair or lovingly placed his foot on her backside to give her a gentle nudge...

and to imply that she and her mother are to blame for the abuse is a calloused response. THEY should be more respectful towards HIM and let him know that he is the man?
HE should be more respectful towards them and ACT like a man!

'It is your duty to honour your parents in a Christian society,'
what?!
oh and what amoeba said (only a little more sensitive lol)

Breaking a family and marriage through petty charges could result in the girl being hungry with parents on short term welfare and out of work with little chance of recovering what they could have saved. Please excuse me for trying to serve her with some compassionate understanding of what her father could be experiencing before a feministic viewpoint might cause her to jump the gun on something not very serious until allegations are in place. Things being equal, he deserves to be treated like a man for earning the income, not to be neglected as being unimportant to the family as in some cases regardless of the circumstantial situation. Anyway, this opinion was for the benefit of samirae_x3 to prevent her from having possible regrets in making a mountain out of a possible molehill. Perhaps just a hug and a 'thank you dad' could make all the difference to an unappreciated individual who bears untold difficulties by himself. Good bye, best regards, take care.

It sounds like your Dad has low self esteem and is struggling with being a man.
I don't know what the situation but men need to be respected and appreiciated..this allows them to feel that they are providing for their family. Even though they are strong men they to need affirmation that they are doing a good job.
Although he shouldn't get physically abusive with you...he has choosen this route to take out his frustrations...nothing will get solved this way ...voilence leads to more voilence.
Make the choice to fight back with Love and understanding...tell him that you think he's doing a good job and see the affect this approach has on him...
What's happening in your home now is not working, so what have you got to loose...
You do have your Dad and family unit to gain.

a mountain out of a mole hill? you cosider abuse and threats of violence a mole hill? 30% of women killed in the US are killed by their romantic partners, you want to ask those women whether they were making a mountain out of mole hill? you think any of them maybe should have called the cops? and where exactly do you get this idea of starving children? 50% of marriages end in divorce, there are a lot of single mothers in this world and they manage to provide for their kids. And I think all of them would agree they were better off with less money than an abusive husband.

Also... 'To be required to be 13 years old is to be required to be a young woman in some opinions and some societies so arguably children do not exist on this site legitimately'

maybe in some societies, but not in the American one, 13 year olds are legally children, they are seen and treated as children by the law and by society. If you live in Africa or Asia or in the 1600s perhaps, but she doesnt live in either of those places or in that time...

it is NOT the job of a 16 year old physically abused young woman to make her dad feel better about himself!

this is why you must have EMPATHY.

empathy - the ability to imagine oneself in the condition or predicament of another

you should stop and really read and understand what has been asked. she has been hit, had her hair pulled, kicked hard enough to fall down. think...what if this were you? what if your dad did these things to you and when you reached out to others, they implied that it was YOUR fault, that somehow YOU weren't doing enough to make your dad feel like a 'man'.

and I must add, that of all the arguments, discussions and answers that I have read on this site, this one disturbs me the most.
the use of christianity to defend this father's behavior should have ALL CHRISTIANS on this site up in arms. I have read many answers from christians regarding abuse and NEVER have I read anything that portrays christianity in such a poor light while at the same time tries to justify the abuse and actually implies that the person being abused somehow deserves it.

I am not christian but I know many christians and NOT ONE of them supports this antiquated load of bull-cr*p that is trying to be passed off as caring advice.

shame on you who try to make it the fault of this young girl.
shame on you!!!

is it WWJD or is it WWYD (what would you do)?