Why am I always curious what my boyfriend is doing?please help??!?

Im 14 , and my boyfriend is 19. I know it is a big age difference cause im very young and it is illegal but please do not judge me or make harsh comments. So, I met my boyfriend at a highschool football game. By the way, im in 8th grade, and he is a freshman in college. Me and my friend were being goofy and saying hi to people and he stops and talks to us. He told us he was 19 I said wow your way too old but my sister is 19 maybe you guys could hook up? Whats your number? He gave me it and later at night I texted him messing around cause I can be immature lol . He was talking dirty like I dont want your sister I want you and can I have a naked pic ? And said whoah . No naked pics! I said no but I was ok with the him wanting to date me . So we started talking a lot more and he said he wanted to meet up somewhere. I said im going to the movies with my friend and he showed up . He was trying to hold my hand (note: im not a slut , I’ve only made out with guys and one handjob , no guys have fingered me or anything like that. ) so I said said no and moved a seat down joking around and he left the movies. Later on he apologized and crap and we started talking again and then he asked me out 4 days after I turned 14 . (yes I was 13 when we were talking and met) . I happily said yes . Now since I have school and im only 14 my mom wont let me go out everynight and stuff. I gave him head after like two weeks and he fingered me. (first time to do that)to make a long story short , we hung out around twice a week and after 3 weeks of dating we were telling each other we loved each other and the night of the 3 weeks , we went back to my condo (me and my sister had a condo back then) cause my sister was gone for the weekend. So I was wanting it and so was he so he popped my cherry by putting hid di__ in me but not all the way just a lil to pop it . Then we stopped and the next week (1 month) I slept over at his house and we had sex . It hurt soo bad at first. Now everytime we see each other he wants to go to his house and have sex. I thought thats all he wanted but then one night I wanted it but he was like no babe I just wanna cuddle we dont have to everynight? I was like ok ? (strange for him) anyways to get to the point in between the times we met at the movies and stuff I found I was worying about him and what ifs. Like was he cheating on me? Using me? I did read his text message at the movies his phone went off and I grabbed it and it said hey babe . But it said from freddy . I told him I changed his name from ryan to ria before my mom looks at my phone .. And I was like wtf is this a girl he goes no you dont understand he is a really good friend I was like yah ok. So he wet to the bathroom . (im not stupid I’ve been played before) so he came out and the message was deleted and so I go can I see your phone he goes sure ad I went to call freddy and he changed the number on purpose it goes out of order so I go down to freddy home in his contact and call it and a girl answered I said is this freddy she goes who? I got nvm hey you know ryan she goes of course I go is he single she goes yeah . I was so mad he took his phone and left I called him he goes it was his sister probably . I was like yeah ok I didnt even want to start a fight . This was one time there was other times I thought something was fishy , anyways he got a jo alittle while ago now since he has his jobhe goes tanning and to the gym everyday . He gets out of work hey babe im out imma go to gym. After gym imma go taning. After that imma take a shower or eat dinner or visit my family have family night. Its like ok? So I told him how I felt so he started talking to me more. he has sworn to me he never ceated or will cheat on me and he wants to be with me forever and he asked me to marry him but I told him I was too young and stuff. I love him to death . Should I elieve him ? Do you think he is cheating? Help! Need advice! Anything you have ! Please. Thanks (: