When I have sex with my boyfriend I feel like im have sex with my dad

WELL ME AND MY BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN GOING OUT 4 ABOUT 3 YEARS BUT AS A CHILD I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED BY MY FATHER AND I ENJOY HAVING SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND BUT LATLY I HAVE BEEN HAVING BAD DREAMS ABOUT MY PASTED AND I ALL READY HAVE TREATMENT FOR THIS CASE AND KNOW WHEN I HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND I TELL HIM TO STOP BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IM HAVING SEX WITH MY FATHER I REALLY LOVE MY BOYFRIEND AND I want to BE WITH HIM
and he asks me whats wrong and I tell him and he tells me he understands how I feel and I dont want him to cheat on me or anything my hole sex life is falling apart my man comes home every night but latly he has been coming home really late and he smells like sex but he tells me im the only women 4 him so could you guys help me with this problem I just want my life to be back 2 to the way it was be 4

The way your father violated and abused you has made you feel in your subconsience that sex is violent and intrusive. Try having sex every now and then but let your boyfriend know you need to be in control. Get comfortable and take the lead, don't be agressive cause that can sometimes lead to the feeling of giving in. Right now, it's about your pleasure and your boyfriend needs to know that (not in those words exactly). Kind of like dancing, one person leads and the other person shouldn't try anything fancy, (or anything at all at first). It's not going to feel right at first but it will feel right again. Your dreams will let you know when.

This is a serious issue - one I dont think anyone can help you with except maybe a councellor. Perhaps you and your partner can go see one together. I really dont think he knows what you are feeling unless he has experienced sexual abuse himself. Maybe the councelling will help you both through his situation.

I understand what you are going through. I was raped by my aunt and uncle at the age of three. They forced me to have sex with my two male cousins who are now both extremely homosexual. My uncle forced me to go down on my aunt which caused me to have an adversion to going down on my dear "honey pot". After I got over the trauma through therapy, I realized that during making love I really can't close my eyes. I was also molested and raped by four other people that were strangers in which resulted from me having a severe adversion to sex in any form. the only reason I lost my viginity in the first place was because I had a mental breakdown due to flashbacks and other various ailments. In the hospital, I was overmedicated and I was seduced by a woman and I felt what consenual sex felt like and I've loved it ever since. I have flashbacks on a nightly/daily basis. What helps me cope is my favorite quote "THE PAST IS THE PAST, THE PRESENT IS THE PRESENT, THAT'S WHY ANOTHER NAME FOR A PRESENT IS A GIFT". I feel you should be open to your boyfriend/spouse. Analyze your boyfriend's sexual technique vs. your father's repulsive sexual techniques and do your best to come up with a technique that's less intrusive. For example, I have an adversion to oral sex so the coochie has to be completely odorless and completely clean and I have to be the one to initiate it. I can not be asked for it.
If you wish to contact me, you can do so through Yahoo messenger. My screen name is "ivroylove2". My AOL "ivroylove". I wish you the best of luck in future lovemaking sessions and I appreciate your openess on this web site that's why I've been so open because there's not alo of people out there willing to talk about sexual abuse especially by loved ones. yours truly,
Michael A. Sacerdote

I know its hard not to forget that you were abused bye your dad but you need to fight it and talk to your boy friend tell I wont break up with you I just need to know the truth and after he tells you the truth you caan break up with him or whatever you want to do with that situation Good Luck!!!

ok,this is a very difficult situation......have you had enjoyable sex before?
if so then dont think about your dad during sex w/ your boyfriend.just dont. its going to b hard because your going to remember all the things he did to u......and thats just not cool.but remember when you had sex w/ him and it was so great....dont you want that feeling again? you know your dad isnt your boyfriend and you know your boyfriend isnt your dad. you need to just do it any ways.....just dont think about anything else....get caught up in how it feel not what it reminds you of.........
if you want your boyfriend to b happy, like nike says, just do it. if those thoughts about your dad do happen to pop up then think of how much you love your boyfriend and how much you really do want to have sex w/ him....how you really do want it to b enjoyable 4 both of u.
I hope this helps.....
later!
blondie

First of all, it sounds like you need more therapy. Second of all, it sounds like your boyfriend is definitely cheating on you and you two should either seek couples therapy or you should drop him like a hot potato.

I know how you fell. When I was six my babysiters boys would rape my every night. I didn't know it was wrong. they would wake my up and just start raping me. I didn't know what to do. Then the first time I had sex I was at my boyfriends house and when he was on me I pushed him off and he said I had this scared look on my face. We sat together for a while and I told him the story. He was mad about it but he wouldn't make a move until I was ready.
He told me that his ex was sexually raped by her dad. He even did it to her brother. She would be screaming for him to stop, and now she cant have kids because he messed her up. so we both now how you fill.
I try not to dwell on the past, but I've gotten over the fear. But I do think he is cheating on you. Its time to let him go.
Sorry Sweety

oh my gosh hunny thats really bad to hear!
and I feel the same way..
I no what it feels like..
beleive me it will pass hun
just dont think about it
think of positive things hun.
stay strong x