My sisters having twins and she is giving one up for adoption

My sisters having twins and she is giving one up for adoption and keeping the other!!!
Do you think its wrong to do that.

while it is her decision, what she does with her body and her babies
twins are a little different
a lot of them grow to understand one another on different levels than say brother and sister cant
also when they grow up they could have an empty feeling, like somethings missing
there are a lot of options but if shes chosen this one
make sure she at least plans to tell the one she kept later on
and vice versa (ask the adoption place to tell the parents adopting her child to tell the kid when its a bit older)
because its very very likely theyll want to meet up with each other in later life
and seperating them could cause a few mental and emotional problems as they grow up

I'd rather put them both up for adoption and have them kept together - but its up to her really. I'd hate to grow up and find out I have a twin that my mom decided to keep and leave me.

That is her very tough decision - at least she chose life - she may be doing the most loving thing she could do at this time in her life and circumstances - I would support her...Take care !!

the only reason shes giving her up is because she doesnt want to spend money on the baby

I'm sorry but I dont get it, a twin is the closest person anyone has, to find out that you've been seperated from your other half...

She may not want to spend the money on the baby now, but when she gets the bills from all the therapy the kid's going to need when she finds out she has a twin somewhere out there, I think she might regret it.

Yes!! That is so wrong. What's wrong with having twins? Okay, double diaper changes, double feedings. But also, double laughs, double adventures, double the smiles and double the love. It's so wrong to one, give ANY baby up for adoption. And two, to choose one kid over the other. She decided to have sex and now she's paying the consequences for it.
To me a baby kind of, (if you're old enough) or two babies, seems like a pretty good consequence.

I hope she makes the right decision and keeps both of them.And does the father know about this?

the father doesnt even know shes pregnant

If it was one kid, fine, but twins, no, they need to be kept together. How would you choose which one to give away?

thats messed up I would never be able to do that

I think she should be lucky to have a child period I have a very good friend who has 2 little boys ans finally got pregnant with her daughter and she was born stilborn So if she is looking to put one up I know a very very good person who would love a baby she;s been trying to get pregnant now for 5 years and no luck her and her husband are pretty much giving up tell her good luck and I hope she makes whatever decision is best for her) By the way The father has a right to know that she is pregnant!!!

at least she chose life-- exactly why I don't understand pro-lifers. What if the twins spend their lives completely depressed and un-whole, because they are literally missing their other half? Is choosing life the right thing to do when their life may not be a good one?

Not saying that your sister would give them a bad life, just using this as an example of a situation where their circumstances may not be ideal.

Editor,

With all due respect; while I agree completely that twins do indeed have a special bond with their siblings and should be kept together if at all possible, your assertion that the children in questions may spend their lives completely depressed and un-whole, because they are literally missing their other half has absolutely NO basis in reality. The fact is, twinship is an added bonus to someone's life, but being without their twin does not make them any less of a whole person.

I would further argue that your answer is a perfect illustration of the difference between individuals who are pro-life and people like you who are not only pro-choice, but evidently pro-abortion, in that we see EVERY life as an opportunity while you consider some of them to be only burdens.

Now, to answer mommi_at_14's question:

I think that to split up twins and break the special bond that they undeniably have for mere monetary concerns is both selfish and misguided. For while children can be expensive, one can make sacrifices in their own life to feed and clothe their children. And as far as material things go; Our society puts too much emphasis on those items. Our children don't need the latest, video games, clothes and Hannah Montanah gear to be happy. All they really need is a loving, caring and supporting family.

I would talk to your sister about it. It's possible that there are other concerns she has and she is simply using the money issue as an excuse. Or if she is truly doing it only out of concern for money, you may be able to convince her to keep the twins together as the benefits way outweigh the negatives.

Either way, it is ultimately her choice, and I at least commend her on choosing to give life to the children and the opportunities that come with it.

Best regards,

-SN2S

sayno2stripping:

I'm not pro-abortion I wouldn't have one in any instance, personally. But there is NO way I think the government should dictate my options and choices.

Have you ever read the stories of twins who were separated at birth and felt depressed and like they were missing something their entire lives?

I suggest you check out this research article published by Vrije Universiteit in the Netherlands:

At age 7, twins from separated pairs had more internalizing and externalizing problems than nonseparated twins.

On the TRF separated twins scored highest on the internalizing and externalizing scale, followed by the together and the partly group, respectively. A MANOVA performed to test whether these differences were significant revealed there was a main effect of separation at school on TRF ratings at age 12, F(4, 1646) = 4.25, p .01. Univariate testing showed this effect was significant for the internalizing, F(2, 823) = 7.29, p .01, and the externalizing scale, F(2, 823) = 9.84, p = .02.

I would never do that. I would have to keep both of them, and would never seperate them up

Ok this is just sad she's not keeping both b/c she doesn't want to pay for both?!Sorry but she doesn't sound too loving!She sounds like she should NEVER be able to have kids.In my oppinion she should not be so selfish and put both up for adoption.And the father has a right to know DUH.He could take them from this crazy lady.I'm sure he or his family would give them a BETTER ome together than your sorry excuse sis being a sorry excuse of a mother.They don't deserve to have a bad life b/c of your sis's mistake! Her mistake could be someone elses LOVE!

This is Horrible, if your sister doesnt want to pay for both of them. Not trying to be mean buy maybe she should of kept her legs close in the first place. Sex is to make a baby, she obviously made two. She needs to put her life in check either keep both of her children or put them both up. My cousin likes to say that im adopted that really hurts me feelings. Your sister needs to be glad that she can actually get pregnant. Look on funadvice perfect example so many people are trying to get pregnant cant! she thinks to mom up she is going to have a baby. she needs some counseling. she sounds like a sh*tty person!!

hope I helped
baby doll 7

 
I would guess that your sister is fairly young. She may be keeping one like as a toy. This is wrong. If she can't support and take care of the twins properly and provide for their welfare for the next 18 years, then she should seriously consider giving BOTH up for adoption hoping that they would by adopted by one family.
 

Another option that no one has mentioned is telling the father and seeing if he will raise one of the twins. At least that way they would have each other close.

Um I said that the father or his family could take them it's in my post!

she has to keep them together if she splits them up thats just wrong.if it was my sister I would tell he ri would have the toher twin just so that they could stay toghether. does she really know what shes doing???
tell her to think about what shes doing separating them will be the worst things she'll ever do!!