How to deal with being torn between two men?

well here is my situation I have been married for almost 5 years to a decent man. I love him but I'm not in love with him. We got married bacause I was pregnant and 2 months later I lost the baby. I now have 2 children 1 from a previous relationship...

and 1 with my husband. we have been 2gether 4 almost 9 years and we have lost a lot of the fire, we don't do anything together but have sex. He doesn't like to go anywhere with me, he doesn't participate with the children in anyway such as b-day parties, ballgames, nothing. he makes me feel that I am in this alone. I used to be very in love with him but he has pushed me away.

on the other hand my oldest daughter's father I am in love with he is my soul mate. I have always been in love with him but we were young and ended up not being together. We spoke recently and he still cares about me also since we have been apart he has had another child and so have I. he's not married but I'm just afraid to go back. I have spoken to my husband on several occassions about the things that are wrong in our relationship he says he will do better but he never does. its still the same. he won't even keep the maintenence up on the vehicles, not even the 1 he drives. I really want my marriage to work since we did make the decision to get married. What should I do

You shouldn't stay in a relationship if you aren't happy. There is a such thing as marrying the wrong person, and it seems like this is one of those cases. Marriage is a giant commitment, not just to you and your husband, but to your kids as well. If you're married to a man who doesn't want anything to do with those kids, or you for that matter, it would probably be best to break it off. You can't be happy in life if you aren't with the person who makes you happy. I hate to sound harsh, but your marriage is dead. You shouldn't have to put up with the stress of being a single parent. You're married. If the man can't act like a man and take part in the lives of his wife and children, then he doesn't deserve to have them. In the end, though, you're the one who has to decide whether you'll stay or go. Just think about how unhappy you are with your husband, and how much you love the other guy. Whatever choice you make, think it through. Determine what would be the best for you and your children, and go with that. This was a difficult question to approach, and I am biased in this case, so my opinion might not be what you want right now.