How do i get my parents to lighten up and let me live?

I'm 20 years old with a great job and two years left of college. My parents are strict Indian parents and forbid me to do many things. I was not allowed to dorm in college (they claimed it was for financial/cultural reasons) so now I commute every day 1...

hour each way. My curfew on the weekdays is 7 pm and I'm only allowed out til 11 on Fridays (and I must be accompanied by my older sister). My older sister, keep in mind, is 2 years older, but has no goals or aspirations in life - she is in and out of college, and seems completely content with living with my parents until she is 40 and going out once a week only until 11 pm. Now here's my dilemma - I met my boyfriend two years ago and we've been inseparable ever since. I sound so naive and young when I say we're soulmates but it is true. Given my ridiculous curfew, in high school I would sneak out of my house to go watch movies with him. However, I was caught sneaking out one night and my parents HATE him now. They hate my boyfriend (who is from a different culture that I and who is 7 years my senior). They forbade me from seeing him, yet I continued to. Only recently, I bought my boyfriend an expensive gift for his birthday and my father had seen the purchase on my bank statement. I don't know why he looked through my personal mail, nor do I think he has the right to, but he contacted the computer store and found out that it was mailed to my boyfriend's house. They were very disappointed in me, claimed that I was a pathological liar and threatened me. They told me he was ruining my life and that I live in their house, and I should abide by their rules. My father told me that if I chose to speak to him again, he would disown me. Believe me, if I could communicate with my parents about my boyfriend, I would, but they are strict and cultural and do not believe in dating. Now I sincerely want to move out, not with my boyfriend, but on my own - because I need to be incontrol of my own life, find myself, be independent. I don't want to leave on bad terms with my parents, so I have no idea what to do; and since my older sister is completely satisfied with living at home and enduring their overprotection and ridiculous control, I look as if I am rebelling. Please advise - how do I tell my parents I need to live on my own? How do I get them to accept my boyfriend?

Wow. Your parents are way strict. You are 20 years old.. you can move out without their permission. Remember, they are your parents, if you tell them that you want to move out.. yeah of course they'd be angry at first but AS YOUR PARENTS they should realize that you need their support.

You said your parents don't believe in dating. Do they have someone in mind for you? I would think that's part of the reason they hate your boyfriend, though I also would think they would have married you off by now if they did.

If you want to move out, you need to show your parents how prepared you are. Be specific about where you're going - make an outline if you have to. Try to have a place ready before you tell them anything. Make sure that you make enough money that you can be completely independent of your parents financially. Remember that you're telling them you're moving out, not asking for their permission.

After you've moved out, try to visit them often. You usually get along with people better when you're not living in the same house. In any case, you know your parents best. You should know what to do.

Move out already. You're 20 you can't mooch off you're parents forever. Seriously now. And no matter how you think it, you will always be your mommas baby. Even when you have kids of your own. Trust me, I have 3 kids and my mom still thinks I'm 11 years old and I'm 27. Get a part time job, get a room mate, and finish school .

i know its easier said then done, alot of things will become of you moving out. your parents are gonna be so pissed at you ( i know i come from a ethnic strict background) but you have to live your own life. im 22 and at the end of my rope getting ready to move out this weekend and my parents are gonna not talk to me for a long time to come. yeah i feel guilty but its my life and i cant be feeling like im on a leash all the time. So do whatever you think is going to make you happy.

UMMM , Im sorry, your 20 years old? Need I say more? Youre your own person. And youve been an dult for 2 years now. You dont have to do what your parents say. Your not a child anyomore. Seriously, THEY CANT TELL YOU WHAT TO DO ANYMORE MOVE OUT! And no one can tell you who to love, no matter what age you are- remember that. You love your boyfriend and your parents need to accept that. It doesnet matter what ehtnic backround your boyfriend is.

I am also an Indian girl, 20, and I was born here in the States. I an going thru an almost similar situation. hmmm...I understand people sayin your an adult and that you need to live on your own...for urself. But as from the Indian culture point of view, you need to talk to your parents. they luv you and they dont want anything bad for u. So, try talking to them before you make a decision. Explain to them, that he is your love..boyfriend..etc. If still they dont understand, you shud take a stand for your relationship with your boyfriend. They will understand sooner or later.
But keep your parents in mind in addition to ourself and your independence.

I feel the pain...

Being an indian, I know what youre going through. You should think about your parent's reputation too. We are American but we are also indian. We were taught morals and respect and you should not forget that because of a boyfriend. You need to tlk to your parents and explain to them why you think he's your soulmate. And you need to let them speak as well. They are only trying to protect you because you know how some girls are stupid and think they found the love of their life but the boyfriend is still messing around without her knowing.
With all respect, im in the same situation. I've been dating someone for 5 years but hes of the same cultural background. My parents dont like him because of his family.
There are obstacles but don't forget about your parents. Respect what your boyfriend does for you too. If hes proven to be loyal and caring then tell your parents. They will eventually be happy you found someone that will give you unconditional love.

you are 20. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! The only curfew you have is the one The Law instates. You can see your boyfriend if you want.

You are in the same situation as me. All of the above happened to me. It still happens. You can't help it. That's just how they are. They must love you a lot though. At least they won't kick you out of the country. Mine may even do that.

hey I m not 20 but my parents don't let me hang out with boys or even let me talk to them. I actually kissed and dated a guy behind their back. They don't even know that I have a boyfriend. My dad isn't into these things that much but my mom is a pain in the booty. She does not even let me go to the park or my friend's house alone. You know you are lucky that you are 20. I can't wait till I m 18 and I move out. Talk to your parent and if they don't agree with you than do it anyways. No matter how mad they get, they will always ♥love♥ u.
So good luck but don't be sad when they are mad at u. You can always make up and also look up to them.

The only way to do this is becoe financially independent, in other words, support yourself and move out. After you have made arraingements to move into your appartment or room, tell them that you love them, but you have decided to move out and be your own person, and you do not want any hurt feelings, and you love them no matter what. Then do it, but be prepared for a rough go for awhile. As long as you live with your parents and do not support yourself in anyway, yes, it is only proper you follow the house rules. If yo feel that you cannot, then move out.