Should have more love for my mom

Since I was 7 years old my mom have left to another country to make money for the family, leaving me with relatives. I haven’t seen her for 7 years. when I was 14 I came to live with her but we haven’t got along, always fighting and arguing. I am a 30-year-old mother myself and see my mom often but we are not close as much as I would like as to be. I love my mom but I cannot forgive her for leaving me at such a young age. I believe that the mistakes I have made in my life are based on bad parenting because no one ever taught me right from wrong. I feel that my life would of been much different if I had a stable home and I blame her for it. she is not a bad person but she made wrong decisions in her life that affected her children. my mom suffers from depression and is sick often blaming me and the world for her condition. that she doesn’t see my child or me as often as she would like. The problem is that I cry when I see sad movies or sponsor child commercials, but I never felt this bad thinking about my mom being sick and all. is that wrong, am I wrong for not feeling compassion for her, and are we ever going to have a close relationship? After all she is the person who brought me into this world. how do I deal with this?