Poll: be adopted or become heiress

Ok I need your help with a decision. I have a 7 year old little girl who is stunning and sweet. The situation is that her biological father (who she hasn't seen since she was 2 weeks old) comes from a family that has old money. I mean like multiple 7...

digit wealth. She doesn't receive child support because he refuses to work and stay home with his parents. My daughter has somewhat of a relationship with his mother but it's only how much her biological father and grandfather will allow. It's driving her into the ground...but that's a different story. I've talked to her recently and she said that she wants to make my daughter the beneficiary to her fortune. That her biological father is selfish and acts like he deserves the money and since I'm raising my daughter in a simple lifestyle then she would appreciate it more. I think this is a huge opportunity for her, that when she turns 18 she would be finanically set for the rest of her life...

But, the situation is that my husband, who had been there for most of her life, wants to adopt her and have his name on her birth certificate. I'm going to be adopting his two boys and he wants to do the same with my daughter. BUT if he does she will become dis-inherited.

So my question is: Should I allow my husband to adopt her or should I allow her to become an heiress?

Thanks.

Allow her to become a heiress... He was'nt there from the get go to raise her, so obviously you should be making these types of executive decisions.. Remeber that he is selfish..and that you MUST keep her mind AT ALL TIMES..she will appreciate the wealth when she turns 18, therefore appreciate you even more.. hey,she might share... : D

The question is, is she happier with the life she has at home with you and your husband, or is she happier with the situation with her father and his parents?

Money can't buy happiness, and if your husband is going to be a true father to her, then maybe he deserves her more than her grandmother does...especially considering the woman will disinherit her if she becomes adopted - that's just wrong in my opinion.

This is obviously a method of controlling you and making sure you can't do what you think is best for your daughter.

No person who would disinherit their granddaughter for any reason is worthy of being called a grandparent.

Turn away from the money and raise your child with strong morals and ethics.

I agree with ichibanarky- where will she be happier?? Your daughter will have a much better life now and in the future if she is raised properly by people who really love her and care for her.

Even if she isn't legally his, a good husband will still treat her that way. It shouldnt matter to him whose name is on her birth certificate. He should be able to love her and treat her right without that. I would want to know that my children would be loved (first and foremost) and then know that they will be comfortable in life.

If he's going to be the father...and has been, he deserves to have rights to her even if it wasn't his sperm that made her. I would do what she would be better off with, unless this grandmother dies within the next 11 years, she won't see the money for some time anyways, but she'll always have her daddy and that's the most important thing.

Well sit your husband down and let him know how this money will help her when shes 18, I mean he could still be a father for her even if shes not his ' adoped ' child.
Yours truly,
Demika Ray

Thank you for all of your advice. It's a difficult situation.

My daughter does not know her biological father or his family at all. Because her grandmother has severe health issues (low immunity) that she cannot leave her house. My daughter can't go to her house to see her because her biological father lives there also. This devestates her grandmother because she wants to be a part of my daughter's life so badly. And the worst part is that she thinks she only has a year to live, if that. So that is why we have to make this decision so quickly. I won't even talk about the money to my daughter until she is old enough to understand. So this is not a decision my daughter can make.

Just FYI, how her finances are set up, she can only choose a family member to be her beneficiary and if my husband adopted her then legally she would no longer be her granddaughter.

/sigh, this is NOT RIGHT AT ALL, woman keep your child, she may hate you for a while, but if you let her go, she may never see you again, Have you seen paris hilton? those who grow up rich become spoiled and their traits, corrupted. Then again you would be a stereotypical mother to let her baby become corrupted as long as she is rich and happy, instead of her getting excellent traits, a good personality and a hard worker. She will benefit from having such a kind mother. I wish my mother had done the same, My family had the same ordeal but I was given up, my father got custody of me and we are rich, But I'm miserable, No one wants to be friends because I am an @$$and to top it all off, I wish I had my mother back in my life, What I would give to be with her and learn about the working society.

/edit: let her become an heiress. You don't want the burdens of life weighing her down.

I'm not letting her take my child...that's not what I'm saying...

if he wasn't there for her then why all of a sudden he wants to adopt her I wouldn't let him adopt for any reason

I personally believe money corrupts people, if you want you child to grow up and have morals then teach your child how to become the best employer possible.
let your husband adopt her.
this way she can atleast say has a proper family, which to me is much more important then just having a bunch of money!

honestly, I would let her become and heiress. like you said, your daughter will be financially set for her life when she turns 18. that will help her out a lot in the future. and although he is your husband and you are adopting his two sons, I think the better decision is to let her inherit the money when she's a legal adult.

if your husband is there for your daughter, then it shouldnt matter whether a piece of paper says he is her father. if he gives her love then adoption shouldnt mean anymore or any less to him. he's the one that's been there for her, not her biological father..that's all that matters.

hope I helped a little (:

heiress

I think you should go with the money she will have all she needs specialy with the way things are now plus if your husband is there then that should be enough she can call him daddy any ways and this way she wont loose any thing