Why can't we be friends like before we dated?

hey there ok heres my story: met a guy at work we used 2 chill together wiv other people as good mates months l8a he tells me he likes me etc we get 2gethr its fine and thn just before xmas he says he don’t feel the same enymore :( I really miss him, miss the friendship we had 2gethr the most. I wantd 2 stil b mates he sed he cant its 2 soon but if he has no feelings 4 me why cnt he just b my friend like we were before? I need help cz I really want to b his mate again and chill out 2gthr like we used 2 before we gt in2 a relationship, he cn do that cz he sed he don’t feel the same so it wd b easy…does he really hate me that much he cnt stand the sight of me and never ever wants 2 talk 2 me agn? and he cn just throw away a friendship? do I just have 2 accept that im never ever gna see him again? :(

Answer #1

the reason you cant go back to just friends is because of two reasons. you probably had sex with each other, and that always complicates things. and the second reason is there is a past between you two of emotional attachment which changed everything between you two.

Answer #2

OK everybody seems to miss something and that is why can’t he see her again ?? … Listen up he’s a guy and from what I’ve read not a very mature guy but still a guy.

Him not wanting to see you can be a couple of reasons, it could be he met someone else and doesn’t want you seeing her (in essence still feeling for you cause he doesn’t want to hurt you) on a different side he could have family problems or an old girlfriend which could have been he’s love of his life came back.

You can speculate all you want at the end of the day you don’t really know why you broke up, then you guys only went out for a couple of months so for you still to be friends is a very good possibility… You miss his friendship more than his love, which also means you guys had more of a fun relationship than a loving one.

Now this is going to be hard but just ignore him for now, when he’s ready he’ll come and talk to you (if your friendship meant anything to him). Just keep your chin up girl.

Here if you need me ;)

Sean

Answer #3

Dear sandy66, If you were friends prior to a relationship and then you broke up…there is no way to stay friends. Some will say they are able to but not without a great cost. This is a real dilemma for dating couples. We always say get to know a person first be good friends before you start a relationship. But in reality this can be detrimental to a good friendship. There is two types of attraction #1 we get along great, we are good friends and have fun together. #2 we very attracted to each other, I want more than friendship etc. When we confuse the two as you may have then it ends up we loose the friend and the lover. For some they never figure out the difference and are hurt more than need be. This is why love can be confusing when it doesn’t work out. Sue…good luck

Answer #4

I think sue is wrong dont listen to her there is still hope in being friedns with him.. it may be a little awkward at first but sooner or later if you keep trying and get past the awkwardness you will be friends again if not best friends … same thing happened to me hope I helped ~kaitlyn~

Answer #5

Do you respect yourself? If you do, then turn on your heels and walk away, never to look back. You have better things to do - get working on it - you’re a busy woman looking for new friends. You surely don’t want people to do things out of guilt or force. It;s never nice when friendships are out of balance, but you can waste a lot of time fretting about it.

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