My wife hates sex

I have been married 21 years, my wife hates sex, we have 2 wonderful children. I would like sex daily, she can go for months without it. the only way she can O is by oral and when I talk her into letting me do that it roars like thunder and happens very quickly.. however yearly we take a trip, just us and I take her to a male review, one of those where she can touch the guys anywhere she pleases,(and she does) thats the one time a year she actually gets horny, and that lasts for a couple of days..she had a hysterectomy a couple years back her HRT has a trace amount of testosterone in it to improve libido..she says that sex is just not important to her. I am beginning to think she doesnt like me. when I ask her to tell the doctor she gets pissed and refuses to bring it up to him because its not a problem to her..
any advice?

I guess she just doesn't like that doesn't mean she doesn't like you I mean you have been married for a long time so just wait for her to say she want it to that way you'll both be satified

Mix it up a bit. Roleplay, by some sex toys and/or some lubrican't. Get out there, spice up your sex life. Ask her what she wants. Inivite someone she wants, have a 3some or 4some.

I have more sex toys than the sex shop... I have offered to try to hire one of the dancers to come to our hotel room..
last time I used a toy on her she got a yeast infectin and I was cut off for 2 weeks.... she complained that it was tooo big

ask for an open relationship?

Well I would be pissed if she only want me during the times she sees other men. I would feel so mad. I would try sex toys, porn and even bring in another person. If that dont work. Make her feel special floweres, massage, phone calls to make her feel love dont talk about sex cause it may be presuuring her. I am 21 years old and I love.... I mean totaly love sex.. I think it may be the hystectomy may not make her feel like a woman anymore.