Why haven't I cried after my great aunt died?

Okay, well ,y Great Aunt Freeda just died, and I haven't ried at all. I almost cried a few times, but I haven't had any actual tears. Why is this? I feel like I'm just a bad person. My cat died 2 months ago and I cried over him, a cat, but I can't cry over Great Aunt Freeda, a human. Why? Am I just a cold person or what? By the way, she died on Sunday night. And she didn't suffer when she died. Tha might be why I didn't cry, I mean, I have almost cried, but I didn't even have to fight the tears back, they just didn't come. And it's not like I like crying, I know that no one likes crying, but it feels a lot worse when you SHOULD cry and you can't. I do miss her though. I wasn't close to her at all, so I don't know how I miss her. And the thing is, I think she died alone. And that is what almost makes me cry. And at this moment, I'm almost crying, but the tears just now went away. Please, someone, tell me why.

Also, please answer me as soon as you see this. I will take ANY answer.

When you're ready tears will come - good memories also - you can help to resolve grief by:

Allowing time to experience thoughts and feelings openly to self
Expressing feelings openly or writing journal entries about them
Remembering that crying can provide a release
Confiding in a trusted person about the loss
Acknowledging and accepting both positive and negative feelings
Finding bereavement groups in which there are other people who have had similar losses
Seeking professional help if feelings become overwhelming
Spending time in prayer

the same thing happened to me when my great grandma pearl died... but, let me tell you something, you are going to get hit with saddness pretty badly
I didnt cry for a week
and when I did finaly realize it
u know, become really upset
I cried almost every day, and my eyes became sore.

Shock is the first initial stage..

Its okay.

Sometimes it just wont hit till later. There is nothing wrong with you. Just let yourself feel what it needs to without forcing any emotions!-Im sorry for your loss

I understand how you feel.

When my grandma died I was at her viewing and didn't cry. I was very sad but didn't cry and I felt the same way.

Then someone told me a friend of mine was killed the day before by a drunk driver. Then I started bawling - at my Grandma's viewing but not for her.

My grandma lived her life and she had been sick for a while. But my friend was young and his life was taken unexpectedly.

It can also be that initial disbelief before that grieving process.
Just know that it's normal. You've recognized the feeling but you haven't cried. Hey - that's ok.

It may have not hit you yet, have you gone to the funeral?/??? you may get upset then...

I have experianced this too... when my Great Grandma Died... I still havent really cried yet... I feel guilty but the tears never really came...

I can't go to the funeral. My grandma isn't having one. She can't afford it. And neither can me or my mom. But either way, my Great Aunt, didn't know many people, and she didn't have many friends. So no one would really come except me, my mom, my grandma, and my grandpa, and maybe my Aunt and my Uncle. Possibly my grandma's other sister. Great Aunt Stella.But I doubt it. Sh elives all the way in West Virginia.

Death is sad. And different people handle loss differently. Some people cry, some people hold it in, some people go write 4 books, some people sing, etc. You will cry or express your feelings however you see fit when you're ready to do so. There's not set deadline that says you have to cry by a certain time or else you're not really upset. In time, the tears or however you'll handle it will come.

You don't have to have known someone well, or even at all, to be affected by their passing. I work at a high school that has suffered the loss of 5 students between the end of last school year and the beginning of this one. I didn't know any of the students that passed except for one, and just having kids in class who were down and crying made me feel sad. Humans are emotional beings, and we're affected by other people and the emotions they're exhibiting and feeling. So don't worry that you didn't know you're great aunt and that you miss her. It's really ok.

Everyone greives differently.

When my grandmother died at 89 I didn't cry either. I thought to myself, when she was a girl people rode in horses and buggies but before she passed she saw men travel to the moon. She was survived by 3 sons and 2 daughters, 13 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren, and one great-great-granddaughter; all of whom she loved. She drove until almost the very end though she did get pulled over on the expressway a few times for going too slow. She was stubborn, resourceful, independant, opinionated, and swor like a sailor. She had a heck of a life. If I live to 120 I don't know if I'll have as rich a life as she did so I really couldn't think of any reason to greive.

Death is a horrible thing and you should by no means feel negatively for not crying. When my grandfather died I didn't cry at all while at the funeral and I felt just like you because everyone, and I have a huge family, was weeping while I wasn't. I felt awful and for a while I didn't do anything but hold it in, which I never should have done because it comes back and hits you hard. But I didn't even start to cry until days after the funeral and that was only at night when I was alone. You should not do what I did, trust me if you do you'll get it back twice as bad. Talk to someone and tell them how you feel. I also didn't cry when my friend, at the time 14 was kiled in a tragic vehicle accident, this happened about the time my grandfather died, but a year later my grandfathers mother passed and I cried. I didn't know her a lot but I still cried. After that I felt even worse because her death is what broke my barrior and I wept for all three of them. You'll take care of your feelings in your own way and don't feel bad at all. Everyone deals with the passing of a family member differently. I hope you feel better and if you ever need to talk to someone and just vent your feelings FunMail me and I'll either give you my e-mail address or my screen name. Its important to talk to someone and please don't feel like your a bad person just because you didn't cry about your aunt. Your handling your feelings in the best way you know how.
~Alanna

Dear duh21,
These are the grieving stages
1-Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
2-Anger (why is this happening to me?)
3-Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
4-Depression (I don't care anymore)
5-Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
Not everyone follows these stages but it's pretty typical. We all grieve differently and some shed no tears at all while others never seem to stop. The important thing is to always remember the good times and the happy memories.
Sue...good luck

Well I cried the other night. But it wasn't exactly about Great Aunt Freeda, I don't know why I was crying. It might have been that I was subconsciencely thinking about her. But as soon as I started crying, I started thinking about her and I kept crying as I thought about her. And I feel a little better now.

Different people respond to death different ways ... I think about Jacqueline Kennedy who forbade her children to cry at JFK's public funeral.. maybe they cried in private... some times we hurt so badly because of what the deceased might have been like while he or she was alive that we are unable to cry... my father died in Mar 08, we were estranged so I cried once I heard the news but he was not ever there for me growing up so It's not like I had a father anyway... now that both my parents are gone, I do feel like an orphan