How can I find out if my dad is cheating on my mom?

Hey,

ok you have a big story...well around christmas I was on the computer when I looked at the history ( oh and my brother 18 was asleep and my mom was at a store my dad was at lowes) and I saw this really weird site name called hornymatches.com so I was like what ?? so I clicked it surprised I saw my dads picture and he had been looking for someone!!! I was in tears could not stop crying!!! his name on the site was ohtay! I was so hurt! and I didn' want to tell my mom! so I woke up my brother ( patrick) and told him to come downstairs and I showed him!! he didn't do anything all he did was read at my dad description of himself and I swear he was about to cry! Than he told me...' kaitlin dont tell mom or dad I am going to figure something out!' so I nodded and he gave me a hug ...which meant a lot because my brother and I pretty much hated one another! Then my mom and dad came home! And they said as a family lets go get out christmas tree. OMG ...I so did not want to but we did! In the car my brother and I did not say a word. My mom and dad were complaining on how we wernt talking and they just wanted us to have fun. But I could not bare to even look at me dad pretty much disgusted on what he did! and in the car we were listening to music and I was putting my words to the song my saying I hate you dad...why did you do this ! THat was pretty much the worst car ride ever!! Then we got to the tree place we picked out a tree... but when we were picking them out ...my mom goes that tree has big bottom just like me...and my dad says I like girls with big bottoms!!! omg I was like so disgusted and said to myself I am sure you do!! The whole day passed . Then it was night my brother was gone and my dad went to go get a movie. So it was just me and my mom. My body was telling me to tell her but my brother told me not to!! So I told me mom showed it to her and she cried I felt horrible she thanked me for telling her and she cried so hard!!! I just could not believe it my mom was crying so hard no even funny it was crazy she kept telling herself that she was ugly and not pretty he didnt love her anymore! Then my brother came home my mom ran to my brother and gave him a hug! As soon a Patrick saw her crying he new I told ! My brother called my dad and yelled in the phone COME HOME NOW!!! so he did my mom told my brother and I to go get a drink or something but my brother didnt want to he did not know what my dad would do he could hurt her!! So patrick and I went into my brothers room while my dad and my om were yelling at one another!! then the yelling came up stairs and my mom was with us and so was my dad! My dad said I am soo sorry and all that sorry crap! while my mom and I told my dad to get out ! But he did not! he said no I live here ! NOT ANYMORE MY MOM SAID ! he still didn't so my mom and I and my brother went to the car and left! WE just pretty much went all around anywhere ! my mom called her sister and my moms sister called home and told my dad to get out ! she must have said something really mean cause she called back saying he is gone! WE drove home ...their was a note on the counter say all this stuff and that he was going to the hotel ! my brother and I watched food network at 1:00 at night while my mom talked to her sister! The next day my dad called so many times... so we had to let him come home because we could not afford for my dad to stay at a hotel every night! So he came home and slept in the spare bedroom ! WOW that was the worst day of my life it is know May and that means it has been a couple of moths since it happened my mom and dad go to this marriage thing! They are fine NOW! But I am really worried that my dad is on some kind of site does anyone have any ideas about what I should do to see if he is cheating again!??? ( oh and I already tried looking on history but he erased his stuff when he went on the hornymatches.com ...its just that one time I found it because he forgot to erase it so I found it!) HELP ME!!! thx

oh sorry for the spelling errors and stuff like that I had a lot to type lol!!

Dear soccerbabe768,
This is a very sad situation for you and your brother. There could be several reason why your father has done this. None being your mother's fault. You did what you thought was right by telling your mother. She knew something was wrong with her marriage...adult know just sometimes can't face it. This may be the kick they both needed to get things back on track. Your parents both will eventually be very thankful you told what you found out. But no is the time to back away. Allow the adults to solve their own problems. It will be difficult for you to respect your dad after this but you must realize that you don't know what he was thinking or why. Everyone can make a mistake and you will also have you're share that you will want to be forgiven for. So forgive your dad for this and if he does it again trust in your mother to do the right thing for her and be her support.
Sue...good luck

Wow... Well, you parents marriage is your parents, it does involve you.
However, trying to catch him in the act, and get that clarification isn't a burden you should be placing on your self. You might wish to have a sit down discussion with you parents voicing your concerns to them; I encourage you to be honest, talk to you them about being honest with their feelings and discussing this, because it doesn't involve just them, it involves you.
Yet, you shouldn't have to take it upon your self to see to it if your father is continuing this behavior. Try talking with them at least, voicing the way you feel, and discussing with them were the situation stands, is a good portion of the road to a positive recovery.
Talk with them if you can.

Take care & Good Luck.

~Benjamin~

Well, you poor thing!

You need to focus on yourself and school, etc. If your mom chooses to look in on your dad's computer behavior (or learn how to), that is her concern now--not yours. She knows what his deviant behavior is (or was), and it is up to her to help repair the damage now with your father, together. It is not your business nor your fault, nor your duty to keep your dad in line.

I want to say, that just because a man has a profile up on hornymatches dot com, it doesn't necessarily mean that he really intends to ever cheat. Computers are a gateway to basically whatever fantasies a heart desires, and that is tempting to some. Especially to some who have been married a long time and may have lost a spark.

Your parents have work to do in reconnecting, gaining trust and finding their spark again. It is not your job to babysit the process. I'm so sorry to hear about such an ucky, ucky way to spend the holidays. Your dad did something stupid. He also has his reasons and now with your mom, those reasons are coming out. It is between them.

Allow for your parents to grow and learn and attempt to build a bridge to each other again. If you are going to be running around trying to find a problem, you are only going to cause them to happen.

Try to have faith in your parents and sit down and tell your mother that you are having a hard time forgiving your father and trusting, too. Your father has not only forgiveness to earn from your mother, but also from you and your brother. Family counseling may be in order, or just counseling for you as well.

Sorry, sweetie!

wow. thats really tough. im soo sorry that happened to your family. well, even though its tough to hear (and for me to SAY! lol) I think you should give him another chance. he might have changed. if your mom gave him another chance you should try too. your mom might be keeping an eye on that too so dont worry too much about it. good luck! (yeah, I know this advice really wasn't so great. lol. sorry!!)

catch him in the act

download a program that remembers everything that happens on your pc just install it but dont leave any shortcuts on the desktop or start menu run it only through program files or anything else that you want. their is also another way look in C:\Documents and Settings\Administrator\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files you might have 2 turn of hidden files 2 get their and it has a history 2 of everything the best way is 2 delete everything in their first because suff 4rm last tym will still be in their so delete everything in their till you cant delete anymore than just wait till your dad uses the pc or wait a week but then you gota make shure your brother isnt going 2 p o are and sites and such other wise your dad will get the blame 4 nothing and then when you go into the folder again everything you saw on the internet will be their but remember 2 hide hidden folders again

omgsh!
thats very sad!
ok first of all your father is not good.
im sorry to tell you.
make sure he dosent get a 'work laptop' that is where they say they need a laptop for work and no one else can touch it even look at it!
thats where they hide all that stuff!
and if he just has the family computer get a tracking system thst does not allow you to delete anything!
im so sorry this happened to you.
I hope this works

No I think you should leave that stuff to your mom.I understand that you worried but like mind your buisness on that it'll only make things worse!

press tools the options
then click on see cookies
& you will be able to read all of the website he has been on

oh geezz, im going through the same thing.. but im not telling my mom. this is def. hard.. and my sister and brother dont even believe me.. but I've seen the texts my dad has sent and recieved from this girl. and im soo disgusted of my dad right now. I will never trust him.. I just wish I had the courage like you to actually tell my mom.. but the thing is I just dont get when hes doing it .. they have been married for 25 years.. and its just soo terrible thinking about it. soo im here if you need to talk.. and to tell the truth. I kinda need someone to talk to.. and since you went through it. maybe you can help me? I don't know. but just no that your not alone. and I feel your pay