Married & in love with another man

Hello please help me im 24 been married for 7 years and I have two little girls but for the last year I have been having an affair and im in love with this guy but I dont want to hurt my husband because I do care for him im so confused please help me PLEASE

You should never ever have an affair with another man. That will hurt your husband so much if he found out. Since you don't want to your husband, then you shouldn't go with another man. You should know that marriage is sacred. That is what is love to your husband. Let the other guy before somebody gets hurt.If your two little girls found out they would go to your husband and say something to him. You really don't need to cause your husband pain. You need to love your husband than the other guy. What you are doing is being hurtful to your husband. Let the other guy go please.

I feel for you! I am 24 years old with 2 daughters myself. Over the past 1 & 1/2 I have met & unfortunately fell in love with one of my husbands freinds(who happens to also be married) We havent really gotten too psychical but we care about each other very much. Its a sticky sitiuation that we are in. I dont know what else to tell you but if you are really in love with this man & he with you, dont lie your husband any longer. As hard as it is you have to tell him & let him decide what to do with the information. Just keep in mind that you are the one doing wrong. He will most likely be angry but I think being 'out of the loop' will not only make him feel betayed when he find out but also he will feel foolish. He deserves to know the truth & if you care about him like you say you do you wont lie to him anymore. The heart wants what the heart wants; its trying to hide what the heart wants that is sinful.

well I also was in the same thing...I am 24 and I got married at 19 and he is in the army and so he leavs a lot and I never feel right with him. He says he loved me so much but at the same tiem never showed it .. so Yes when he left me for a while on a deployment I went my seperate was I told him if he he lef and we were still fighting then I could not garinte that I would be here when he came home...and so I did I found someone and Im still with him for 2 years...now... I still have a good relationship with my ex-husband...he still wants me back but he knows that its not right...I dont have kids so I cant say anything about that....I think you should pack your things and leave your husband .if the other guy is who you want to be with...If you still love yur husband then tell him whats been going on if the love it strong enough then maybe he will go get help with you and fix things if not then you have to go girll....Hate to say it but if you dont tell him it will get worst inside of you..and if you do tell him that it could get messy all to gether...

GOOD LUCK.. GIRL!!!

I can't really tell you want to do, but I can give you a little insite on what my life has been like. I have been married for almost 15 years with two children. 7/8 years ago, I met another man and had an affair that has lasted for 7 years now. In the beginning, we saw and talked to each other almost everyday. During the 2nd year, I had to move to another state. Talk about your long distance romances! We still talk with each other over emails, we call each other when we feel it's 'safe' and have seen each other a couple of times when we both were able to make arragements. Its not easy, its not always fun. Most nights, I cry myself to sleep because I want to be with him so badly. Sometimes, my arms just ache to hold him. When if do get to hear his voice, I almost can't talk, because it feels like a dream. Unfortuanally, my husband does know about the affair, but does not know that it is still going on after 7 years! I hold out hope for one day,but still have to live in reality too. I can't leave my husband because of our children. ( I was raised to stay because of the children), but one day these children will be grown and out of the house. So my one day will come!

Well I read the other responsise but to be honest I diagree with there ansers. I feel that if you were happy you would have never cheated you may care for your husband but not the way a woman should love her husband. I had an affair and I ended up back with my husband I needed to see what it be like. Just figure out who you want more... If the other man wants a relationship and figure it out before saying anything to your husband. When you do tell him dont bring up the other man just tell him you want to take a break and see what its like with the other man

dont feel bad I am married for 19 years and I am having an affair with a married man for 5 years and I wont give up the two that I love so much is that wrong

l

I can relate. I have been married for 15 years and I have found someone that lifts my spirits and makes me laugh, we have had a relationship for 4 years. The unfortunate thing is that we decided to end it, things became difficult. Let me just say it was the hardest thing to do, it has been the hardest thing to get over and I miss him more than I thought I would.

I am going through the exact same thing that bellamia has mentioned. It is indeed the HARDEST thing I have experienced emotionally. Too love someone so much and not have complete & normal availablity to share real things with them is so hard! I have been married for 7 and been involved with a wonderful man I have known for 11 years. I know my reasons and stand by my decisions.. but lately reality is starting to settle in and I am an emotional roller coaster

I'm 24 years old and have been married for 5 years with 2 kids, I love my husband but I dont think I love him like a wife is suppose to love her husband. I got married to young and now that I'm more mature, my taste for men have changed and my husband does not fit my standards anymore. I've been having an affair with his best friend that is 13 years older than me and he is also married, I'm in love with him and cant stop thinking about him and I'm tring real hard not to cause I know he is just using me for his own personal enjoyment. What I am saying is that you should make sure of what your secret partners intentions are before you do anything to disrupt your marraige with a man that truely does love you.

PLEASE READ! I believe my previous post accidently cut short. Like I was saying, I cheated on my husband and I can tell you, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Where is our restraint? and when did we begin believing that it was up to our spouse to make our life exciting? This is a partnership that is fueled by love, admiration and respect for each other. Do you remember when you and your husband were first dating? Remember the lust, attraction, excitement. It would be only natural that those superficial emotions would eventually fade away and be replaced with something stronger and more enriching. In every marriage, the lust subsides. Why would you disrespect your husband, disrespect your children and yourself for the sake of recapturing something that you and your husband once had? I contemplated this for months and did research and read forums warning me of how STUPID it is to have an affair. The result? I did it anyway. I can begin to tell you how painful it is for me to look in my adoring husband's eyes and tell him he's the only man that captures my heart, my mind and my body. I told him about the affair shortly after it occured. Ladies, did we expect marriage to be an unwithering circle of hot steamy sex and roses? What the hell? I don't know how I fell for such a lie. Marriage is powerful. You dedicate yourselves to each other to help each one become a better version of themselves. You create a new generation and partner up together in raising helpful, decent citizens and human beings. What power that is! The problem is that we have this fake, superficial idea of what is supposed to make us feel ALIVE. HOT sex in the car, feeling DESIRED by some man other than YOUR man. Thanks to television and in my opinion (Satan), we are fed lies in order to bring us to the edge and destroy what is the very foundation of this country: strong marriages and strong families. And we are led believe that we're not hurting anyone...it's something we NEED to do for ourselves. If you respect your husband, your marriage, your kids and yourself, you will GET UP and get the HELP you need. I wish I would've done that instead of being afraid to ask for help. I fell into the monsters pit and there's not ONE day that goes by that I don't regret it. I don't have the perfect husband, and I am not the perfect wife. But we TALK a lot now and we've identified each others needs. Mine are the need for affection and sexual fullfillment, conversation, recreational companionship. His are the need to feel admired and respected by me. Every person has needs that their spouse is ABLE to fullfill for them. It begins with communicating those needs DIRECTLY and making a COMMITMENT to fullfill them for your spouse. That's how you know you love them. If you are willing and working towards meeting your spouses needs, even when it requires some sacrifice on your part. The lust and the need to feel DESIRED? Give me a break. The affair will bring you that for a short while. INFATUATION IS SHORT! Don't you know this already? Remember the dating days with hubby? It is bound to wear off and will either be replaced with true love and commitment or a tiring of the person. Before you know it, you will be running off to find the next affair and hurting everyone you love. Rekindling the fire with your spouse is possible, but it takes commitment. There's nothing sexier than having sex with the person you will grow old with. Every time is a renewal of your vows and a renewal of your commitment to build a strong family. Get creative and get professional help. If you're still not willing, then it's not possible that you love your husband...it just isn't. In that case, a separation is best for you, for him, and yes, for your children. ANYONE READING THIS, please don't make the mistake I did, and if you're in an affair already, CONFESS to your husband, and both of you GO get good counseling. Marriage today is under attack. Either you can stand strong and save yours or you can listen to foolishness and regret. I wish I made the right choice. I guess I feel like maybe if I write this, I can help some women make the right choice and it will help me heal. Please, if you can do anything after this, separate lies from truth in your mind. Look at your wedding pictures and remember the days of infatuation with your love. Fortunately, those days have become a beautiful marriage with limitless potential and not just 'another fling.' Here is a website that has been extremely helpful in dealing with affairs and their affects as well as helping you understand your marriage and your spouse so that you can AVOID an affair. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html
They deal with EVERYTHING regarding affairs, including emotional needs (which seems to be why most women are having affairs), sexual desire with your spouse, ending affairs, etc. READ all you can! There are tons of articles about this, and I believe it's the first step, then you should go get a counseler/coach to hold you accountable and help you both save your marriage.

dera 9866

unlike every one else I will not judge ...for I for the longest time was in love with two men.
one being my boyfriend and the other my best friend.see after you have been in a relationship as long as you have the exitment not to mention the passion withers...you say you still love your husband...oviously because if you didint you would know what to do...I say you sit with your husband and remember...remember your first date,when you went to the park,when he fell,the first time you had sex,but share how you were feeling...

'remember the time we went to the lake?'
'yeah'
'I felt so weird in that bathing suit'
'you looked great'

'on our first date I was so nervous'
'my palms were sweating the whole time'
'you looked so cute in that shirt'
'I spilled soda on the first one, that was the only clean one'

ect ect...
youll find out new thing about your eachother...and remember thing and feelings uve forgotten.
youll remember how it felt when you were first together...youll fall in love again
if this dosent help...and you dont love him any more tell him this...and end it.
love always
-v-