Life doesn't seem worthwhile

just doesnt seem worth it anymore, I mean I want to snap out of it, but I cant, and I seem like the happiest person in the world, but inside I have the worst pain. I want to cry, hide in a cave and just not see people for the rest of my life, thats what I want. I have diary entries from when I was in first grade basically saying I wanted to die, and its bringing me down, and I dont think it will ever get better. what do I do? I cant get help, because then my mom will guilt trip me into pretending to be something im not, or taking my dog away. I dont talk about my problems to people so thats another route I cant take, I end up lying when someone asks me about suicide. What can I do to help myself?

If you can't talk to your parents you do have school counclers right?

school counslers refer you out, and they have to tell your parents if you talk about suicide

 
You need to find someone you can talk with. Try one of the Advisors on this site or check out the info below:

 
If you are having problems or are depressed, below are a couple of sites that may help you:

Worldwide:

Check out the Befrienders link below. They are not only a suicide hotline but also offer help to people who are stressed or are in a state of depression.

http://www.befrienders.org/support/helplines.asp

(If it's not an active link, simply copy and paste it into your browser's address box.)


If in the U.S.A., you also have access to:

Girls and Boys Town National Hotline

Call With Any Problem, Any Time

1-800-448-3000

http://www.girlsandboystown.org/hotline/index.asp

(If it's not an active link then simply copy and paste it into your browser's Address box.)

if you can't talk to your parents, school counselors or psychiatrist would help you out with that one. Good Luck, :]