Insults please??

Im looking for insults for backstabbing, jealous, lying two-faced friends
Who think they know everything

instead of stooping down to their level and insulting them, why don't you just keep your dignity and get new friends?

your mama so old I told her to act her age + she died (:
love that one xx

Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

All day I thought of you...I was at the zoo.

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

most likely you are a girl

Go F you C K Yourself!

Dont be jealous cause I can get a boyfriend and you cant even get a guy to like you

Everyone knows your a B I T C H why slut!

Look at your clothes! Did you get that outfit from a HOBO!

Your shoes look like your going to the moon!

Thats the oldest comeback in the book

A dog could come up with better comebacks than you!

I bet you were staying up all night comeing up with that one

You're so full of sh-t your breathe stinks!

Is that your head or did your neck throw-up?

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