Welcome!


Join more than 151,000 members on FunAdvice to ask questions, share advice, photos and make new friends today.
FunAdvice RSS for this page:
Rss_feed

Should i have a baby?

Asked by iwanttobeamommy about 1 year ago, 16 answers.

Hello.
Im 15 years old and I have wanted a baby ever sence I was 14!
My mom and brother never really pay attention to me and it makes me feel really empty.
If I had a baby I think it would show them that I am responsible enough to handle something that...

big on my own.
I just dont no how to tell my mom I want one with out her automatically saying no...
What should I do??

Question closed
35 weeks pregnant (Yes, I have a sports-bra on) Answered by stephanief987 (Online now) on Jan 11, 2008, 08:37AM
13834 answers
Advisor-small

You are even younger then me, I'm 18. I am an hournoring english student, and have a good paying job. My boyfriend of 2 years (at the time) had a son which I was helping him with. Once I was around them for SO long, I wanted to start a family of my own, that was it, my mind wasn't changing. My boyfriend and I started having unprotected sex all the time, trying for a baby. When I got negative preg. tests I was always so sad, thats how much I wanted a child. So I came on this site, posting questions about how to know when I was fertile and stuff. I got a lot of negative comments back, people saying I was way to young and stuff. I got mad reading that stuff because its like they didn't even know me so they had no right saying I shouldnt have a kid. But then, I decided to take everything into consideration just because I wanted the best. Two of my friends had babies, no long do they have friends, or much of a life at all. All of their time goes to the baby, all their money goes to the baby. Buying packs of diapers for the baby every day. They don't have money for anything, they are living off welfare, they were once in your position, young... free. But not anymore, they had a BABY on their shoulder. You may not think you will lose your friends, but once you have absolutly no time or patients for them, they will slowly walk away. What if your parents don't accept it? Then what? I know parents suck most of the time, but you have to think about them to, your their baby still and if you had a baby they would probley feel like failures. Do you really want that? What about a father? What happens when your child is asking where daddy is? I can almost guarentee the father wont stick around, or pay child support, ull be lucky if you ever hear from him again.What will happen when its fathers day at school and your kid doesnt have a father to take to school, because they were a result in this. Think about how that child will grow up and feel like, probley never meeting their dad. I thought my boyfriend of 2 years would stick around, once I told him I was no longer ready for a baby, he left me... just like that, 2 years of my life down the drain.
You really have a lot of thinking to do, and I really hope you make the right choice. Think of what direction your life will go. A lot of teens end up having pre-mature babies because their bodies aren't fully devloped yet and your baby could end up with serious illnesses. Please, don't put a child through this. I know what its like to want one, but you really need to think first, and think hard. I know I cant make you change your mind but I'm hoping I can help you because people helped me. If you want to talk im here for you. I know that I don't know much about you, but im sure you are smart enough to make the right decision.

.. Answered by thee_dahaka on Jan 11, 2008, 08:37AM
129 answers

I know you really want a baby..
But um. It is going to affect your life. Dramatically.
Especially your near future.
School, Highschool, Hanging out with friends.
You'll need a part time job to support the baby. But what will you do with the baby when you are at work?
There are sooo many drawbacks to having a baby at that age. Just think; you have your whole life.
Personally. I say, give it a few more years. By that, I mean, around 10..
Get a job, and make lots of money so you can proberly support the baby when you do have one.

Answered by chardae on Jan 11, 2008, 08:39AM
4 answers

no,you are to young you should have something else better to do

Echinacea 'Harvest Moon' Answered by pinkpearl on Jan 11, 2008, 08:51AM
2036 answers
Advisor-small

Look at it this way. A baby is a 25 year project which involves not just time, but money as well. Can you afford the time and money?

You're looking for responsibilites? How about some goldfish? Seriously though, How about doing some volunteer work with underprivileged people in your area, senior citizens, soup missions, that would be wonderful for character building and to impress others.

Answered by erlandecaceus on Jan 11, 2008, 09:12AM

I think you should ask her then if she says no ask her in another 5 months she'll break

If only you could be in my head... Answered by sikashimmer on Jan 11, 2008, 09:28AM
3319 answers
Advisor-small

While we live in this great country the USA where you have the freedom to bear a child if you wish - it doesn't mean it's the right thing for you, the father or the baby.

There are a lot of things to consider.

Are you getting a job to support the baby?
Are you financially secure?
do you have health insurance?
Is your job secure?
Do you have your own place?
What about transportation?
Will you be able to go back to work right away?
Will you have to depend on ONLY His income for a time?
Will you be dependent on your parent's income?
Are your parent's ok with that?
What if the baby is sick, is your job/school going to allow you to be away?

Here's what you should do to get a picture of WHY everyone is telling you the things they are telling you.

Get a recent newspaper and look for a place to rent. Write down how much it would cost to rent a month.

Now figure out your utilities(heat, water, sewage, trash pickup, electric etc) and how much they would cost a month.

Do you want cable tv? internet? add those costs in there too.

Car payments? Add that.

Don't forget about the delivery! It easily costs between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery and much more if there are complications. If you are covered by insurance, it may cover most of the cost.

If you plan to use disposable diapers, plan on spending between $1,600-$2,300 by the time your baby is potty-trained. Expect your baby to go through at least 7-8 diapers a day on average and spending $80-$130 a month on diapers alone (especially in the first few months, when changes are more frequent.)

For formula (up until your baby is one-year-old), expect to spend between $1,000-$2,300- depending on whether you use powder in a can or ready-to-pour liquids. Plan on spending at least $40 a week on infant formula.

Don't forget about food for you, him and baby!

This is a break-down of the average prices for baby items (not all are a necessity.)

Crib with mattress- $160-$750
Crib bedding set- $35-$270
Crib blankets (4-6)- $8-$40 each
Fitted crib sheets (2)- $8-$20 each
Water-proof mattress cover- $10-$20
Bassinet or cradle- $35-$260
Changing table- $70-$600
Changing pad cover- $25-$50
Dresser- $90-$650
Rocker or glider- $90-$500
Car seat- $35-$280
Stroller or travel system- $30-$300
Playpen or porta-crib- $60-$180
Swing- $45-$130
Play center or walker- $50-$125
Mobile- $25-$70
Baby carrier or sling- $20-$140
Monitor- $20-$230
Baby gate- $35-$250
Bouncer seat- $30-$90
Toy box- $25-$90
Gym or play mat- $25-$90
Doorway jumper- $25-$60
High chair- $45-$240
Diaper bag- $10-$60
Diaper pail- $20-$45 Refills- $15-$20 (3 pack)
Thermometer- $10-$90
First aid supplies (kit)- $20-$30
Humidifier or vaporizer- $15-$130
Bottles 8 oz 4 oz (8-10)- $10-$20 (3 pack) or $20-$40 (starter set)
Bottle warmer- $18-$35
Sterilizer- $30-$70
Breast pump accessories- $45-$350
Breastfeeding pillow- $20-$35
Bath tub or seat- $15-$35
Hooded towels (4)- $6-$30 each
Wipes (a lot)- $4-$5 (pack)
Clothes for first year- $500-$1,200

Add all that up. Now do you see why having a baby at 15 isn't a good idea?

You're 15 and have your whole life ahead of you. I definitely don't think you should get pregnant right now. I think your desire to have a baby right now is stemming from loneliness.

Why not get a puppy or a kitten or like what pinkpearl said - maybe work at a funeral home or a daycare?

xox
Sika

Autumn 09 Answered by lex_icon on Jan 11, 2008, 10:18AM
1575 answers
Advisor-small

People here are wise in telling you to wait. As it's been repeatedly said, you're 15- you have a whole life ahead of you. A baby will weigh you down at this stage.

I wanted a baby for a while as well- I felt like it would fill up this hole I had inside me, make me feel a little more complete. But I've also known, deep down, that it wouldn't be right for me to bring a child into the world right now. Especially since my reasons for wanting one aren't all the best. My partner and I talk about it, and we want to wait a few years. We're getting married in a few months, and plan on starting a family 2-5 years later, after we've traveled and saved a bit, not to mention found a country/house to settle in and call home. Children need stability, and with my life being so hectic at the moment, I couldn't give that to a baby.

I currently work as an au pair/nanny part time, for 2 gorgeous boys aged 5, and nearly 3. I love those little guys to bits- even nappy changing doesn't bother me too much. But as much as I'm sad when I say goodbye in the evenings, I am so glad I can come home, have time to myself, go out with friends, sleep in on weekends, go out clubbing... without a little one attached to me.

Getting a kitten is a great idea- I did, and she's still my baby. That's one of the best things about cats- they always remain a baby to you, they love you unconditionally, and they never ask for money! Try babysitting- put an ad in the paper, get a feel for what it's like taking care of a small child. You'll appreciate your freedom a lot more!

Comment for iluvhim's profile Answered by maxypoo on Jan 11, 2008, 12:13PM
377 answers

wow your only 15. I mean im 16 and I would like to have a baby but there are other ways... why dont you try to get a babysitting job? Because at your age there aint much jobs you can get to support it. Because it only seems like you would need around $600 in baby stuff but im taking parenting classes in school and when I seen the list I was like whoa!!! Yah not a good idea... But Good Luck!

Shark Atack Answered by funadvice on Jan 11, 2008, 12:52PM
53984 answers

if you want to prove your responsible to look after sumfin why dont you get a pet and look after that
xxxhunixxx

...............tell me what cha think..... Answered by neocanis899 on Jan 11, 2008, 02:25PM
158 answers

wow thats a dumb question. Ever sense I was 7 I wanted a baby are you saying sense im 13 I should have a baby lol! Sorry just had to point that out. Ok like honeybee said get a pet it shows responsibilty. Also your career doesn't get pushed away

love hate Answered by joanna91 on Jan 11, 2008, 02:44PM
227 answers

I say a babys not a good idea at the age 15 couse you will never be able to suport one at that age your not even old enouf to get a real job

Tigerrrr Answered by sarahhhhh on Jan 11, 2008, 05:52PM
541 answers

I honestly don't understand why people feel the need to post such long replies. I think the answer is PRETTY CLEAR. One word.

NO!!!

Answered by cjcjcastillo on Jan 16, 2008, 12:29PM
6 answers

no. I wanted a baby when I was young too. Something is missing in your life that makes you want that. I had it bad growing up, I felt very unloved by my dad and my mom didn't pay attention to me enough. I wanted a baby. It was like trying to start a new life and leaving bad memories behind. But it isn't a good idea. You need to evaluate why you want a baby. If it is to meet your need to feel loved, I suggest not to. If you bring in a baby to meet your personal satisfaction you will eventually cause damage to a poor child, and that is not a mature responsible choice. You are still young, and have a lot to learn, yes anyone can be a parent, but most parents that started young regret starting out so young. Just think about it. You will lose your beautiful body before you are fully developed. Babies are very demanding and selfish naturally. You wont get the kinda love you need from a child. Accomplish all you can in life find the right person and live life free right now. Things may seem lonely at times, but trust me it gets lonlier when you are by yourself with a baby. Please live your life to the fullest first, if yu have one now, you WILL have regrets. Good things in life are worth waiting for. Take my advice, good luck to you.

♥ me and my hubby♥ Answered by brinamarie on Jan 23, 2008, 07:46PM
77 answers

maybe you should have a kid cause you want one! dont just do it for your mom and your brother...n make sure your boyfriend is guna be there for you cause some guys just get gurls knocked up and then they leave them... so be careful!

Shark Atack Answered by funadvice on Feb 02, 2008, 03:57PM
53984 answers

I noo how you feel
I want one as well

message me kaii

huh Answered by misstreasure_713 on Feb 10, 2008, 12:52PM
53 answers

You are really too young to have a baby at your age...
Anyways I am 15 years old too but I am NOT ready to have a baby yet...

Ask a question related to: "Should I have a baby?"

Title: Give your question a title

Ask your Question: HTML is not allowed.

Category: Choose a category



Parents & Family Photos

Beach Babybaby me againBabie at the Groomers

Share this question

Copy and paste this code:
It will display on your blog or site like this:
Should i have a baby?