How do you get a 21 month old to realize he's not the boss?

Hi there my name is amy and im the mother of an uncontrolable 21mth old little boy. I do not believe in spanking I feel there is other ways to disipline your children but I almost feel lately as if im running out of options , he does things intentionally know that there wrong and will look at you and say ha ha ha , as if its funny. Ill ask him calmly to stop doing whatever hes doing because its wrong and he could hurt himself or someone else and he says' so mama ' im getting so frustrated. When he gets mad he will pick things up and throw them at me and hit and bite me and screams and throws himself on the floor... Ahh someone please give me some advice on what to try with my little boy before I loose my mind .

well I'm no expert, but whenever I babysit small children, and they start acting up I sit them in a chair away from all their toys and stuff and I tell them that they must sit in that chair for -blank minutes-*** and if they get up, then they must sit alone in their rooms and don't get ice cream or toys. usually they whine about sitting in the chair, but then I tell them that if they don't stay quite while in time-out, then they have to stay there even longer. so then they usually huff and puff but soon get over it, and once their time is up I'll give them a candy or something, and ask them if they realize what they did was wrong. they say yes, blah blah blah, and then I ask them to tell me why they were put in timeout, and for example they'll say something like 'cause I threw pasta on the floor' and I say yes, exactly, now you see never throw pasta on the floor again or time-out is what's going to happen.

basically, you have to punish them for what they did, and MAKE SURE that they understand what they did was wrong, and ask them to not to do it again.

***for the minutes thing, I judge the minutes by their age. so since your son is about 2 years old, I would double that number to make it 4 minutes, meaning 4 minutes he will have to stay in timeout.

when its a kid that small, its good to give them a warning if they don't listen than have a designated spot for a timeout... take them to that spot and tell them what they did wrong and tell him he has to sit there for two minutes, since he is young. (a minute for how old they are... I would round it up to two) If he gets up before the time is up place him back on the timeout spot until he sits there for the full 2 minutes. when the time is up, explain to h im why he was sat there and ask for an apology and a hug and kiss. When and if he gets up before the time is up, don't say anything to him, just set him back on the time out spot. Don't stand over him because that will make him feel intimidated and scared, but rather get on his level and speak in a good firm tone to let him know you are the boss. After a few of these he will learn that you won't back down.
Try setting aside a time where both of you do an activity together, his behavior could be that he is bored and is trying to find stuff to do... not matter if it gets him in trouble or not.

even watched super nanny? shes just the best!! you shud keep a routine with him, try a naughty step? behaviour charts? treats? etc hope I've helped x

Time out is good. If you've got spare cash, I saw a time out 'pad' on Amazon where you set the timer for the child, he sits on it while you go away (therefore not threatening him, like katydid says) and it buzzes if he gets off it too early, then beeps when his time is up!

The idea is that children have to lean about 'consequences' rather than 'punishments'. A punishment (in their eyes) is just what you do to make them mad when you're already mad. A consequence is simply the bad thing that happens if they make bad choices. You don't have to get angry about it, you can just say it's a shame they got the natural consequence of their action. That way they can feel sorry about what they did, instead of angry with you for stopping them!

That's the theory - it's hard to get it right, but not getting angry, and iust having an accpeted consequence, is really beginning to work with my sons.

Best of luck...

its hard but when you say no mean no and when you say yes mean yes...kids get confused very quickly but if you stick by your guns on what you say they do realise in the end whos boss ,,it dont involve smacking them...theres no need to smack to help them get the message.communication does the trick ...kids are very cleaver no matter what there age,,,they understand xx good luck xx

you should beat him with a thick leather belt
option2 throw him out the window