How do i get my boyfriend's parents to like me?

I have been going out for 10 months and since the first time I met my boyfriends parents they have liked me less and less. I try to be nice and helpful and nothing will work I mean I will say Hello to his mom and she wont even look at me. I cant think of...

anything I have done to make her hate me so much, We just think she is being over protective of him... I have only gone over to his house 8 times at most and each time its worse and worse, also neither of us can figure out why they are making up reasons and things for him to do so we cant hand out.

I really, really want to get her to like me but I have no idea what to do?

hey,
well I am kinda in the same boat. we have been dating for 2 years. my boyfriends parents hate me because we fell asleep watching a movie at his house. except his parents wont even let us hangout or anything. its dumb and I dont know what to do to get them to like me either. I try so hard, I do a lot of sweet and totally random acts of kindness but nothing seems to work. I dont know what to do about it and I really need some help. I love my boyfriend more than anything. and we want to be together but his parents are making it very hard.

-frusterated.

Hi,

First I would try to talk to your boyfriend and find out WHAT misconceptions your boyfriend's parents have about you. Have him ask him when you're not around exactly why they disapprove. If it's something like he is their first-born and they are overprotective, or they don't believe in dating, then it's not YOU, it would happen with ANY girl.

If it's something specific, i.e. they don't think you're serious enough, or smart enough, or whatever-enough, then prove them wrong. See if your boyfriend can convince them to invite you to dinner, and then show them that they're wrong through your attitude and actions.

Sometimes a little communication makes all the difference!

We dont know why there like this, He has asked them and they wont give him an answer. And I have gone to dinner with them a few times like for his birthday and brothers birthday, but its always really wierd like they either talk about really wierd random stuff, or wont talk to me at all...

Hes the youngest he has a brother 22 sister 17 and hes 15... They couldnt care less about emily his sister and her boyfriend but, they randomly ture on me. One minuet they will be friendly and all and the next there yelling at him for no reason to get off the phone and do this and that and saying we cant hand out or anything...

I just dont get it?

WHEN YOU ARE AROUND HIS PARENTS, ACT LIKE YOU LIKE THEM. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY NOT. JUST BE NICE AROUND THEM AND PRETEND THAT THEY ARE NOT THERE AND ACT LIKE YOURSELF AROUND THEM. HOPE IT HELPED!

I think maybe, as you are both so young, they consider your relationship of something like 'puppy love' Im sure they don't hate you at all, but find it difficult to deal with their son having a girlfriend so young. When you are around his parents try your best to be polite, kind and honest.

There is a chance that his parents are not allowing you to hang out because of something he has done, maybe as a punishment - rather than their dis-like of you.

All I can suggest is to not take it personally. Never be rude to them, and if you feel as if they are leaving you out, try to involve yourself, or just listen to the conversation. you have to rememeber that as the youngest, you two may not have experianced what your parents have experianced therefore putting a gap between you all.

I hope this helps!

There is nothing worse then a significants others' parents hating you... I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years exactly.His parents hate me less and less. I've only been over there about 10 times in over 2 years and they refuse to invite me to holidays! his sister, mom, dad, cousins, aunts, grandparents, and NEIGHBORS hate me. I know why though... Because I have tattoos and peircings. I've been nice, honest, helpful and they are stil awful people. But I continue to go around to prove I'm here to stay. I wrote his family e-mails, I called his mom and had coffee! I even went to a park with him and his parents... Nothing. Now all of them are seeing a shrink b/c I'm still here... Keep your head up. Continue to love him. Don't let his parents bring you down. Just approach her. Ask her to lunch. The worst she'll say is no. Atleast then you're the bigger person and you tried...

I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now.. And I have no clue as to why they dissapprove of me so much. His last girlfriend was aboslutely crazy.. Was on drugs.. treated him terribly.. left him with crazy cellphone debt.. and Yet.. they treated her like gold. Then I come along.. I dont drink, or do drugs. He's 22, and I'm 18. Now, the problem is.. He's christian, and I'm not. If me and him move in together, of which we're planning to do.. He'll lose his deacon status in the church.. At first I thought the church he's apart of was amazing. Now they're seeming more and more of a cult. I don't know what to do about his parents.. I've never done anything wrong.. And they treat me like im a misfit..

Wow, gang, we're a hated bunch haha.

My boyfriend and I met at college and had a WONDERFUL relationship, but the next semester he couldn't afford the school. I live in Texas where we went to school, he lives in Maryland... so he had to go to Maryland, just for this semester. I went and visited his family for two weeks and was VERY polite and gracious as I was raised with that southern hospitality.

But because I didn't ask them a lot of questions (as I was raised to believe that was rude) they think I am not an intellectual and therefore, not good enough for their son. They may not be telling him, but it also may be because I have my nose peirced and a tattoo on each wrist (I have more, but those are the only two they saw). So now, his parents have told them that he cannot call me. So here we are, in a freaking long distance relationship and not able to call one another. So he's looking for a job so that way he can pay for his own phone. So we haven't talked in over two weeks. But it's not enough. She checked his phone bill and found out we were still texting.. hardly. And she flipped sh!t.

Now his parents are telling him that if he wants to be with me, they won't give him a cent for anything in the future.. including school.

I don't understand why they'd be THAT extreme, when I was so nice and helpful and everything. If I make their son happy and aren't hurting them, WHAT should it matter. He knows I'm an intellectual, that I am just shy I suppose, but SERIOUSLY. Why would they be SO DAMN EXTREME?!

His dad even sent him an email and was like, I signed you up for some dating sites to get away from that girl. Here are the links, the user names and passwords. and they've tried setting him up with multiple girls.

I want to try and change their mind and prove them wrong, but if they're this extreme I don't know if it's possible :/

Honestly, I have nothing but adoration, care, and love for him, and I want to be with him so badly... but not if it means that he won't get the schooling he needs. I just want whats best for him.

I just hate to think we'd have to break up because of his parents irrational misconception of me.

I'm in the same boat. He and his family are christian and I'm not. His family doesn't accept that. They have always treated me really nice to my face, but my boyfriend never tells me good things they say about me when I'm not there... They have even told him on more than one occasion that they don't approve of our relationship and that they don't want us together... How do I fix this?!
its come to the point where I don't want to go over to their house, and when I do for dinner I just don't talk.

It seems like you all have tried and tried. It's not your fault. It's crazy that their parents say and do these things because all they are trying to do is 'love and support' their child. Trying to do 'what's best' for their child. In other words, they are controlling and miserable, trying to live vicariously through their kids and making decisions for the child. It's a disaster. It may seem like the family will never change. And they probably won't. Have you considered whether your boyfriend sticks up for you to his family? Or is he just giving them fuel by staying silent or obeying their wishes. If he is still living under their roof, then they are still going to be a huge influence on his life no matter how close or important you are to him. They will almost try to make you out to be the monster when in actual fact they are the ones creating all the drama. You would have no problems if they just butted out right? I bet you have sleepless nights and dread the thought of seeing his family.. So what do you do?
Use tactics. You have obviously been talking about it to your partner which would be tearing them up inside feeling pressured to take sides. So stop. Talking about it is good, but if you don't approach it directly to the person you are having problems with, you are creating drama too by gossiping! If you too give them fuel, by reacting in any way thats negative, then you won't win. It's such a sad reality that it is a 'competition' because they don't accept you. You're a good person right? So are they. It hurts to say that, but EVERY person is good in some way. So what is going on then? They may feel threatened that you are taking away their son, so maybe make light compliments to them, after all, they have raised an amazing son right? They must be doing something right! Try to look at it in a new angle. I'm of the view point that if one of my friends is smart, reliable, trustworthy, committed etc. then I assume that their partner will be much the same and I won't need to worry. It's the 'I'm sure he's got to be a nice boy because she wouldn't go out with him otherwise'. But then there are different people, those who may have insecurities- for example, your boyfriend.. Does he have insecurities, confidence issues, hard to make decisions, or always tries to please everyone else before himself? His parents see him as something prescious, (keep in mind, they raised him to have these personality traits), but they, the protectors, are afraid that he might not be capable of making an educated big decision like choosing a life partner, so they will try to choose for them. Especially for mums it may be hard, have you ever heard that you don't get along with people who are similar to you? AHHH it scares me too!! But in this respect, you are competition, you are becoming their precious babies number one in life instead of them to which takes time to come to terms with. They won't care about their childrens partners unless they see it as serious.. Therefore they will treat that old trashy ex like treasure because well, she won't be around forever!! And if the family are 'close',(I put that in commas because the close I mean is interferring in each others life way way too much!)you are 'ruining' their sanctuary. Therefore you will be to blame for anything and everything that could possibly happen thats bad in their family, ie. fights! even when you're not around and aren't part of the conversation I will guarantee that you will come up in the conversation! So... what to do... If you want to be with this guy, the fact is, their family may never change. The liklihood of that happening is slim.. Stand up for yourself. Maybe try to be a part of it... like inviting them out to do something with you guys instead of waiting for that daunting get together for a birthday dinner... Maybe talk to your boyfriend about moving out of the home.. not necessarily with you if there are certain religious beliefs. As I said. It's not you, and you have to consider your health. Can you deal with it? are you willing to accept it? These are questions only you can answer. Hope I helped...

my boyfriends dad loves me, but his mom.
I don't really talk to her, I guess?
like what in the world do I talk to her about

ok My boyfriends Father hates me because I have two Children, He doesnt want his son to be with me at all, he even tried to get his cousin to break us up. what do I do???

Wow! And I thought I was the only one with problems. WOW!

Well, lets see me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a couple months and I see him every weekend. (Considering that we live 15 miles away from each other.)
But anyway, here I am still with my problem.

Ok, you see his mom loves me and even takes care of me when I'm sick makes me soups and gives me medicines and all this other shit and I'm so happy for that. BUT,his dad absolutely HATES me. He told my boyfriend that I cheated on him, that I wasnt good enough for him, and all this shit. And lately I've been scared to go to his place because I'm scared of what his dad will do or say to me. He never talks to my face really but gives me this evil stare all the time. AND I HAVENT EVEN DONE ANYTHING WRONG! IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE! I love my boyfriend so much and don't want to lose him because of his dad but I just don't know what to do anymore. Please help.

know what your not the only one whose facing this problem... I had the sam prob some time back with my first guy.. not his mother hated me but wanted me to break up with him thinking that it might mess things with his studies ( bullshit). .. I had to anyways break up wuth him oz he didn't want to continue it with his moher hated it... anways your lucky in a way that your guy doesnt want to stop it though his mother wants to ...so just b good to his mom ( continue it you 'll never regret) who knows she 'll eventually start loving you like helll... just give time a little time ... it will solve everything... btw how old are you guys???

tc
thilzzz