How can you tell if your kid is getting high?

Hi- I joined this site 'because I'd like advice from teenagers on this subject. -- My son is almost 15, just entering 10th grade. Shy kid, smart and quiet.. was getting good grades until last year, but did straighten up his act after he got in big trouble for his first report card - ended up getting at least a C average (was always on honor role in jr high), so he passed. Lately, he's been hanging out, skateboarding all around town- gone for hours at a time. He has these friends that all look like stoners- long hair, always wearing black clothers - I try not to judge a book by its cover, but when I was a kid all the kids that LOOKED like stoners WERE stoners! A couple days ago he went out to buy some school clothes and they were all black tshirts with skulls and stuff- InsaneClownPosse, LambofGod, etc- you get the picture. What is ironic is that when I was his age I was a hardcore punk and was into Black Flag, CircleJerks, etc and yes I did get high and drunk whatever - I know I turned out OK, but it'd kill me if my son was doing the same thing. Our circumstances are much different-- I grew up with an alcoholic mother that really didn't care, my husand and I have worked hard to provide my son with a comfortable, stable 2 parent household and we really do care. --- So what do you think? - What are teenagers like these day, lol? Should I be concerned just because of a few tshirts, or what? -- And, if your parents gave you a drug test, what would you think? And if we do and it's positive, what is the best approach then? Be honest- please! Thanks!

Well, I'm 14 so I hope this helps you. Punk style is very popular these days! Theres punks, Gothes, Emos! So basically it could just be the way he dresses! The only people I know who are stoners dress normally so I wouldn't know about the way they dress. But ways which I notice in the way they act is they get the munchies real bad!! They always look tired! you can just kinda tell I suppose! As for if my parent asked me for a drugs test, well, the way I've been brought up I wouldn't mind but a lad whos been brought up in a stable environment would probably flip so you might just have to look for the signs! If you do and it's positive you'll just have to try and talk to him,but don't be to forceful or he'll just freak out! Sorry I couldn't help you much!! Hope this helps a little bit anyway! x

Hi

KUDOS to you for being a mom that cares. Now to go about that without your son feeling like you're a super-snoop.

http://www.acde.org/parent/signs.htm is a great summary of what to look for. With a few key words in hand max your use of the net so you are one SAVVY mom!

You can warn your son of certain dangers, perhaps some of them you think you may even see in him at times, so he knows you know. Eventually he'll catch himself thinking "My Mom knows her stuff... I'm not going to get away with anything!!" Might just keep him from doing something really stupid. If he thinks he's getting things by you he'll get bolder. you want him to know you know - and care. Knowledge can keep you ahead of your kids, and love will keep you from killin' em when they do something dumb.

hey im 14 and I think you need 2 see that things have changed in 2007 - that style is in, long hair is cool! (lol!) no but seriously. Trust your kid, how do you think he would feel if he found out what you think of his friends? Stop worrying, he's fine!

OKAY you NEED TO TALK TO HIM!!!1

hi...okay I am 15 too...(and I think you answered my question too) lol...anyway... you should not be very concerned yet. If he starts coming home late, his eyes bloodshot or pinkish, he mumbles that he's going to bed, creates arguments when ever you tell him to do something when he comes home late saying he's headed for bed. then is the time to worry. I have a brother that is now turning 17, and he was a druggy, so I know what to look for. Also if he comes home and takes Ibuprofen (or any other meds to soothe headaches ect.) also if he comes home and your not sure if he has been smoking or drinking, hug him. If he smells like beer...then duh he's been drinking lol...but if theres is a weird smell like heavy collogne or something else along that line...he is covering up a smell that he does not want you to smell. that goes for his breath too...well I hope that helped. good luck!

heyy

u shouldnt worry abour him im a lil emo kid well people label me as and im not doing drugs but if you see him doing these things you should get a drug test randomly danceing looks really tired and acts really tired saying things look trippy and just random stuff he doesnt normaly do your not the only mom that worrys about there black clothes wearing kid my mom freaks at me for dressing in black and saying im wearing my eyeliner way to thick! hope I helped a little bit

Thanks for all the responses- it is making me feel a bit better. One thing- I definately have never smelled pot or even cigarettes on him, so that point does make me feel better. OK, now I am addicted to funadvice, lol - never even heard of it before today... Thanks guys!

Give your kid a break just because his friends look like they were stoners dont mean he would be doing it to. Make your relationship perfect with him to the point where he feels open to come to you and tell you about anything if he does them or has or will. Just let him know that you will always love him no matter what he chooses to do or who he chooses to be in life. Thats what my mom has made our relationship and at one point I could and did tell her everything I ever did. Now I wont and dont because she would go and I would hear her talk about me to other family members on the phone. Keep secerts in between you an your son. Have a great time spend a lot of time with him ask him what he likes to do an go do it even if its going to a concert. Punk and all that is in these days and im only 16 and so many people and my school are into it which I dont get that side of life I don't know I guess im just really southern

I've finished 3 years of high school
I dont smoke
and I dont drink
thought I admit
I HAVE dont both before
as a well known girl in school
I knew everyone from the popular kids
to the cheerleaders
the punks
the skaters
the jocks
and because I was smart in advanced classes
the nerds
and MY freshman year of high school
is when I was introduced to drugs.
all types of drugs
and its so sad to say that the more the years go by
the younger kids are being introduced to these types of drugs
in middle school I knew about drugs but was never confronted with them
the kids from classes underneath me brag ALL THE TIME about how bad a$$ they are
because they're having s*x or smoking.
and I was also suprised to learn that the people I thought would NEVER do anything like that (the geeks of course)
we're the biggest users.
and friends from the "punk" group are also the biggest users.
I try to surround myself with people like me, who would rather just hang out and act stupid
without the use of drugs
but its almost IMPOSSIBLE to find one person who isn't into drugs besides my brothers.
even they do it sometimes though.

and also
my grades also started slipping hard
when I experimented with drugs.
my mom found out
and I told her everything
she has given me 2 drug tests
I failed the first one. and thats how she found out
since then I've had a great relationship with my mom
until she decided she wanted to keep drug testing me
that made me feel like she had turned her back on me
we had been best friends and I told her everything
and I went to a party
she thought I'd done drugs I told her no
but she wanted to test me
I thought I had gained her trust
until she asked me to pee in a cup.
so dont take it too far with the drug tests

No, just because your sons style has changed a bit does not mean he is a stoner.
I don't think ya'll should give him a drug test, not yet at least. Wait a hile and when you really start to think he is then you should get him tested.

no I would not fink that he is a stoner by the way he looks I know a lot of people who look like that and dont do drugs I myself drink occasionly but only a bit if someone offered me drugs I would say know but you know your son the best so if you saw him in that situation what would he do!!!

First of all I'd like for you to let go of the ideal look of your son. Getting High has nothing to do with your look. People do drugs. Teens do drugs. All different kinds of them. Kids you would never expect because they look so "innocent" but the way the dress and the music they listen to has nothing to do with it. Secondly, some signs that this kid is into drugs:

~If he has an allowance or makes money, he spends it without you noticing any new things.

~If he ever comes home from a friend's house and just goes straight to sleep (or straight to the fridge, then to sleep)

~He avoids going home at his normal hours

~If he ever talked to you a lot before, it lessens a lot more and he doesnt talk with you as much.

And Last, if he comes home acting strange, either hyper or out of it depending on his response to the drug, then you'll know. Physical signs are mainly in the eyes, if he tries not to look you in the eyes, he's probably high.

Hope that helps.

Glad you're feeling better mamakat !
You did get some good info - and in a hurry. Sweet.

Now... do we need to look for therapy or counseling for your new addiction? LoL

Most deff...Thos are signs he is geting high also they are signs of him just being a kid...But just roam around and check things out befor you come to these conclutions

Im 15.
I know exactly what your talking about.
You probably shouldnt be alarmed.
Most kids my age are going through this too.

most kids in my grade get high with marijuana.
im not going to lie,it fun to do.
it doesnt hurt you,and you cant OD from it.
nor is it an addictive drug.

sit your son down,and talk to him about drugs.
dont jump to conclusions that hes on them,it might make him lose trust
make sure he knows you support him.
and that your there for him.

ps_if you listen to his insane clown posse music,DONT take any of it seriously.
I listen to ICP,they threaten a lot,but they are NOT literal in anyway.
Its mostly oppositional stuff,
and nothing serious.
=]

I'm 16, soon to be 17 and sure I admit, I've done it all.. but sounds like he's just trying to fit in

It doesn't mean he's a stoner. Maybe he's just going through a phase?
It may not hurt to talk to him though, don't say you think that he's on drugs mention that maybe his friends look a little odd to you. Explain you're worried of him getting mixed with the wrong people.

Not judging a book by the cover is not a very smart thing. most of the time you are what you seem to be. I am 23 and have a girl and a husband, if she did these types of things I would probably tie her in her room untill she is 30, lol. I used to do a lot of drugs and was on the verge of being and alcholic myself , but met my husband and turned a complete 180. I would probably guess that he is doing drugs, pot most likely, it may sound odd, but I think I would sit down with him and have a serious discussion about your suspicions, and be honest, even though when it comes to teenagers 99 % of what comes out of there mouths is lies, but sitting down and being honest, and just try to talk to him like a friend , not juging, maybe even tell him why you are soo worried, what you have done as a kid! If he tends to get very upset its is a pretty good sign he is hidding something, and yes I would get him a drug test, he may not like it but at the same time you are the adult, decision maker not him, and this way you know what you are dealing with, we all don't want anymore colombines happening because we don't want to be unfare to our children, we do what we need to raise them right and give them the stability they need to cary on there own. I really hope everything works out for you and he is indeed just wearing the shirts, I would really watch his behaviour and make sure he doesn'rt start getting really confined to his room and he is pulling back from everyone, if this happends I would be worried for him. there are some really good web sited that show the signs of doing drugs. I would check them out.
I hope this helps
if all that doesn't work a good hard kick in the a** and not being allowed to hang with these kids may also work
thanks

Hi im 17 and I just quit smoking 2 weeks ago. I used to smoke a lot. I never would change the way I dressed or anything of that sorts. The people I smoked with have only been to my house a couple of times. So the people he smokes with you may not see so much. I think as a lot of other people have said he is going through a stage. Don't DONT throw a drug test on him unless you are totally sure. I would kill my parents if they did that to me and I was a sober kid. My grades dropped from honor roll and deans list to neither before I even did drugs. If he comes inside one day and you suspect something ask him a couple of questions(detailed questions) if he answers them with a little chuckle or looks away and then back at you and says "what" there might be something going on. But just because he changed his clothes doesnt mean anything.

hes getting high. sorry to tell you this but im a kid whos in highschool and about every one in there has gotten high and if hes haggining out with the punk style people then hes getting high cause its part of there style. hell I've even gotten high and im a straight a student. he just want to experement causekids are smarter then their parents 90% of the time. proven fact. my iq is 40 points higher than my dads and im in the 9th grade. so yea.

I wouldn't be too worried. I'm one of the kids who wears black, skateboards, the whole deal. But I don't do drugs. Don't listen to saw3rules. Not all punk kids do drugs. If you're really concerned ask him questions. If he's smoking he'll most likely look away and pretend he didn't hear you. Or maybe he won't look directly at you when he answers. This approach may not work if he's a good liar though. A change in clothes doesn't mean anything. Neither does a change in friends. As kids we grow apart from old friends and we change our style because we like the new clothes we're wearing better. Skulls and stuff doesn't mean anything. I know girls who wear all pink and they smoke pot. ANYONE CAN SMOKE POT. Just 'cause he's wearing more black doesn't mean anything.