Here's to a new start...

ok, so my boyfriend and I broke up about 2 days ago… well it’s sort of a complicated story… I did love my boyfriend very much but things started getting a little rough… we’d been together for 7 and a half months… he has a pretty bad temper and when he’s mad at other people he would treat me like dirt… he was always threatening to break up with me and I always fought for him and got him to take me back and try again… he had bad trust issues and was always accusing me of cheating on him (which I never did)… so anyway we were getting into a fight and he threatened to leave me again and I just decided to stop fighting for someone who didn’t want me and I let him break up with me… but then something happened that I never thought would happen… he broke down and started begging me to take him back… I almost did and I probably would have but this guy that I used to like had started talking to me again and he was there to help me be strong… so anyway… when I kept refusing to take him back he was telling me that he was going to kill himself… now I got really scared and decided I would give him another chance because I didn’t want him to kill himself… so I spent a day with him but it wasn’t right… I just didn’t love him like I did and it was really kind of sad… so I told him the truth, that I just didn’t love him like I used to and he took me home but was still begging me to take him back and I told him I couldn’t and then he drove his truck into a telephone pole… he was fine but it scared me so much… he was crying and really emotional and I still told him I couldn’t take him back and I think he finally got the point… but I felt so bad through all of this…

but the part about the new start is the guy that I used to like… last night we went to a basketball game together (and one of his friends came along)… but anyway… after the jv game we went outside to have a cigarette (just me and him) and decided to stay in the care for the varsity game too… so we were just sitting in the car, talking and flirting and everything like that… and then all of a sudden, he kissed me… it was really nice… we ended up making out in his car for the whole rest of the game until his friend came out to leave… then later, after the game, we took his friend home and we went to my house (to take me home) but ended up just sitting in the driveway for a while… I was really tired and he put my seat back… I was just laying there and I told him that I might fall asleep… he put his seat back and we just laid there for a while… then we started making out again… he told me something that turns him on so I did it and he got really worked up and started fingering me… I know it’s really fast considering that was only like our second date… but it felt so right with him… anyway… we had to stop because he has a driving curfew… so anyway, I guess I just wanted to hear some thoughts on all of this…

sorry it’s so long…