I just want to be happy

I just want to be happy. That's all I want, I'm sick of constantly thinking of suicide and I don't even know why I'm sad in the first the place! But I tried to talk to my mom about it, she won't give me counseling! I just feel like alone and I can barely...

breathe at moments. I don't know who to talk to, I don't know who to turn to. I only have one friend and she wouldn't care if I died. I have a good family and everything, why do I feel so depressed? Why cant my mother understand! Why does she always have to constantly say I'm just seeking attention?! And it has to do with my hormones? Maybe it does have to do with my hormones...but I don't care, I just want it to stop. I can't talk to other family members, trust me I have tried. No matter what on earth I do I just can't make happiness with myself.
Please just help me... thats all I want

It could be your hormones, or your mental health. I felt the same way all through middle and high school and I couldn't understand it either. Reading your words brings back so much. Do you have an outlet like drawing or writing? Even if you have never tried, try now.

I never knew I was a good writer until I was going through what you are now. I just wrote words, sometimes thoughts or sentences. Sometimes whole stories. Whatever I felt like writing. I kept them, shared them, posted them online, or burned them in the toilet. Whatever would make me feel better. I even wrote a suicide letter as an English creative writing assignment. I got an A on it, and a friend/ confidant in my English teacher.

You keep trying to find help from others, but the trouble is within you. You just maybe need someone to help you bring it out, which is what counselors try and do. Once you find your outlet, like I did, you can help bring yourself out of the darkness. No one else is strong enough. And going through this will help you become stronger in the end.

 
You are at an age where hormones, emotions and even your brain are undergoing strong changes. It is natural to occasionally feel confused or depressed.

The best thing you can do is to talk to a counselor or therapist. Barring that, find someone you can communicate your emotions and thoughts with, sort of like a sounding board. Keeping your thoughts to yourself doesn't help. If you can't find someone around you then consider Fun Mailing someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like. It's relatively private and gives you a good sounding board.

Check out the link below for information on teen depression.

 
Information on teen depression:

http ://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm

(Links aren't working properly in Answers, so simply copy the link and paste it in your browser's address box. Delete the space after http and the link will work.)

  
If you are having problems or are depressed, below are a couple of sites that may help you:

Worldwide:

Check out the Befrienders link below. They are not only a suicide hotline but also offer help to people who are stressed or are in a state of depression.

http ://www.befrienders.org/support/helplines.asp

(Links aren't working properly in Answers, so simply copy the link and paste it in your browser's address box. Delete the space after http and the link will work.)

In the U.S.A., you also have access to:

Boys Town National Hotline

Call With Any Problem, Any Time

1-800-448-3000

http://www.boystown.org/hotline/index.asp

Fun Mail a sounding board!

I would assume that you can't talk about what you are going through with anyone because it is too personal and you don't want others to know about it in relation to you.

The solution, then, might be to pick someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like and Fun Mail them. (You can check out the quality of someone's advice by clicking on their name; going down to their recent advice, click on view all, then click on the questions that might interest you and view their answers.) Explain to them that you are having problems and want to have someone to use as a sounding board and would like to know if they would be willing to be your sounding board. Fun Mail is basically private, so you shouldn't have any concerns about your privacy.

Although there are many users on Fun Advice who would be qualified, I'd suggest the person be an Advisor, for two reasons: First, most Advisors have several hundred or even thousands of Answers under their belt which can really give you a perspective about them; and second, you can simply click on the Advisors link at the top of the page and view a list of the most recently active Advisors with information about them AND a total of their Answers. (Don't contact them by that Ask me a question link. That's public. Instead, click on their name which will take you to their Profile page, then click on the Send me Fun Mail link on the left side of the page.)

You also have the ability to Fun Mail anyone (Advisor or otherwise) by clicking on the Send me Fun Mail link near the top of the Answer under the person's name.

        Simply a Rose to brighten your day,
        And maybe lessen the cares in your way;
        And also, too, to help you to know,
        That in knowing you, many others grow!

Just think happy thoughts. Everybody gets down for awhile tell your parents and doc. to. Remember don't commit suicide. Its not worth it and all you'll do is hurt the ones you love.

Hope this helps:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm

If you need someone to just listen, just talk to, or pray with you:

24 hrs: 1-800-488-4673

Ask-A-Nurse: 1-800-892-8260

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
Phone: 1-800-826-3632
Internet Address: http://www.dbsalliance.org

I wish you the best !!