Got any good jokes?!

I need a laugh! Know any good jokes? Anything goes!

My favorite one is:

Yo momma is so poor that when you go to her house you open the front door and your in the backyard

is that a banana in your pants or are you just happy to see me

I like the one thar goes,

How do you get an Elephant into safe way?

I don't know

You take the 's' out of safe and the 'f' out of way

There's no 'f' in way

get it, There's no f in way

Also

knock knock

Who's there?

Interupting cow

Interupting cowww-

MOO!!!

Messages for the unstable:

Hello and welcom to the mental health hotline;

- if you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly

-if you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

- if you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6

- if you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call

- if you are delusional, press 7 and you call will be transferred to the mothership

-if you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press

- if you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no-one will answer

-If you are dyslexic, press 69696969

- if you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key untill a representative comes on the line

- if you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and you're mother's maiden name

- if you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000

-if you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the
beep.Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep

- if you have shot-term memory loss press 9
- if you have shot-term memory loss press 9
- if you have shot-term memory loss press 9
- if you have shot-term memory loss press 9

- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, all our operators are too busy to talk to you.