Good story plot?

well im thinking about writing a story. its going to be fantasy. its going to be about this girl(dont know her name yet) ok well there on a different planet then us(dont know the plantes name yet either) well and they have magical creature like pegasus...

and unicorn and stuff. and she is in school learning too become a knight rider of a pegasus or unicorn. they protect there country from danger and fight in wars and stuff. well she learning to become one and when the pegasuses and unicorns are born and turn 6 months they choose a rider. the pegasus or unicorn can talk with their mind to their rider only and to mages. (people with magical powers her friend is learning to be one of these) she gets a pegasus. and the rest of the story is about her training with it and stuff. and near the end she goes into a battle with some immortals(killer centaurs,snake things evil pagasus and unicorns)(they are terrozing a town) and becomes a knight. then im going to do a second book about a war with another country. is this a good story plot?

yeah that's pretty cool. I know some people who would read that.

Sorry, but how old are you?

There are a few points that with A LOT of fixing up may contribute to an okay story plot, but really unicorns... didn't we outgrow those when we were five?

Hope that helps you a little, just some advice

how about mythical creatures not associated with fairy tales? you know, kike those ancient gods. instead of the all-normal vampires, merewolf etc, how about she going up against a god or smthg? also, you can create your own cratures based on the planet she's in. aka, see the planet's climate and season. if it's chilly/cold, the creatures must have lots of fats and fur to protect them from the cold, if it's sunny/hot, it should have as little fur as possible and maybe a little stealthly. try to make the audience not just girls but boys too. some of them surprisingly likes this kinda stuff too.

I find this to be quite creative, however there should be more conflicts in this story. Your writing style (based on what I read in your question) could use some work, but it could progress into a strong story. Stick with it, build up a thick skin because not everyone will like your idea, and create your magical world. Good luck.