Emotionally inconsistant mom

dont dissapoint her. Smoking is not good. She just cared about you thats why she was yelling. Then felt sorry for you when you cried.

well think about it. A mother’s goal in life is to have a perfect child. One who gets good grades, one who doesn’t drink or smoke or do drugs or doesnt get in trouble. And I’m sure she thought you may have been one until she found out about you smoking. I’m sure it broke her heart when she found out that. When a parent yells or gets upset it’s not because they want to hurt you or anything, it’s because they want to teach you a lesson on not to do it again

where do I start; smoking… do you realize that smoking is no where near good, your really young and pretty so it’s gunna age you faster than you want, and you want your mom NOT to b upset about that? Wouldnt you b worried if she did’nt care? Bringing up things in the past, I notice you didn’t mention what happened in the past because if she’s still worrying about the past while she caught you smoking it must have been pretty bad. The bottom line is that she thinks you r self destructive and you defending it makes it worse. I don’t think that shes emotionally inconsistent I think she’s a little lenient because your on the computer so privliges are still there. Your mom want to go to counseling w/ you that is by far the most thoughtful and efficient thing that she could have done in that situation. Do you realize how fortunate you are to have a mother that wants to b closer to you and not let fall in to a depressing self destructive pattern?

And the reason you start sobbing after her is because you know subconsciously that she’s right and crying is the way you can express it. Criminal? she called you a criminal what did you do? because if she didn’t call you a criminal, ask yourself what do you think of yourself?

Well obviously your mom wants the best for you and she probably brought up all the stuff you did in the past because she didn’t know how to deal with the situation at first. She started treating you nicely because she felt bad on how she acted from the start. There’s always going to be ups and downs in household that’s just how life is. The best thing for you to do is to stay calm when she starts yelling at you and try not to say anything disrespectful or anything youl regret and listen to her. I’ve had a smiler situation like this and there’s stuff I’ve done and said that I regret. You really have to watch the decisions that you make and think of the outcome. Keep in mind that these decisions may affect you threw your entire life. My parents often bring up the stuff that I’ve done in the past and it really hurts at times. I just have to forgive them and move on.

I hope it works out for you. And good luck.

Matt

yeah thats very true and probably effective…ill definately try its just so hard living with someone thats so different and having to follow their rules and their attitude

There it is, she simply loves you more than you love yourself, it may sound a bit harsh but if you treat yourself like you want to be treated than everybody else will fall in line. If you want stuff to start looking up you have to love yourself and accept that you have done wrong in the past, recognize what you have done, evaluate how it made you feel and proceed in doing the opposite I know this is the last thing you want to do but be creative and do something thoughtful for your mom. She will recognize it because it’s out of your character don’t expect anything back, and if she is disrespecting you like you say than she will feel some guilt and that’s when you initiate a conversation about moving forward and changing, your and your mom’s self destructive behavior.

yeah everyone is basically right but to answer some questions I’ve gotten arrested for giving head on a roof last summer shes brought up my stash of beer that was in my room and that I snuck out several times all which is really old news she thinks im a criminal because I got arrested once, and no charges were even pressed she treats me poorly only when her boyfriend is around, like to show that im a piece of trash and she loves him more because she fucking does and what do I think of myself? I fucking hate myself and don’t want her help if shes treating me like crap for show and inside she loves me its just wrong

You have a perfect opportunity with your counselor, I’d say. Why don’t you let your mom come to more sessions, and two of you talk about it with the counselor? Moms and teenage daughters often have a rough ride for a few years. It sounds like she’s blaming herself and thinking she’s not a good mom… we’ve all been through that and sometimes it takes someone else, a stranger, to open our eyes and see what’s really happening. The fact that you’re seeing someone for advice already could be a real benefit here to you and mom, and smooth over those harsh waters…

damn well that really hard..because my mom does that a lot..and although I have improved my attitude and whatnot..shes stil the same!!! talk to her..maybe it’ll be worth it..I doubt that you will b able to get her nice all the time and have her stop actin like that torwards you..sorry if I brought your hopes down :( one thing that might help also..is stop doin things you know your not suppose to..I try to do that..saves me a lot of yellin and b*tchin..but to b honest I still do stuff that I shouldnt..but thats my choice..lol..