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Do i convert for her? walk away from it? or approach her parents?

Asked by willcat1 about 1 month ago, 14 answers.

Im 17 and I've been seeing this girl for about 7months but been official with her for about 5 but we are truly,madly,deeply in love and we just have so much in common and never have full blown arguments and just basically make eachother so happy. One...

problem...her parents are strong believers of christianity...they dont prayer or go to church but theyve spoken out to god and let him in their lives and she says to me that her parents wont allow us to be togother unless were evenly yolked. Shes recently asked me to convert and I would do anything for her but she put it on me a bit too quickly and didnt give me a chance to say how I felt although I would think about doing it. Her parents know about me and she talks about me a lot infront of them but I've still never met them and she goes into proper deep conversation and gets all serious with me when talking about this religious stuff. Obviously I respect there religion but we are madly in love...surely thats enough? Do I speak to her parents and tell them how I feel? Do I say no im not converting and then end up loosing her? sad or do I convert? Although I doubt my family would be very happy with that. Please help me people. Would really appreciate it.

kitty Answered by ty (Online now) on Sep 29, 2009, 08:10PM
10152 answers
Advisor-small

This is something I just do not understand. If she loves you as much as you love her, surely she should accept you as you are? Why cant you demand that she become less religious? Would that be ok? Why wouldnt it be ok? Because your beliefs (or lack of beliefs) are less important? Also, if you truly dont believe or feel like you believe, then isnt conversion just a lie? A label you're taking on to please others?

2 people thought this was helpful
Answered by jlee609 on Sep 29, 2009, 06:28PM
5 answers

It depends how religious you are and how far you would go to keep her. I went very far to keep my girlfriend that I love so much I would die for. but, its all up to you. and how you feel about the situation. if it was me, I would talk about it with her parents and my parents.

Answered by willcat1 on Sep 29, 2009, 06:31PM

im not really religious at all but losing her is not really an option. shes so serious when she talks to me about it and our moods completely change but thanks, I think I definately need to hear what her parents have to say about it.

me and the love of my life Answered by cbfoeva on Sep 29, 2009, 06:47PM
3 answers

hey! ok well my boyfriend converted for me. we've been together 4 10 months. I think you should do it if you truly do love her and you believe you guys will last. based on my boyfriend I would have to say it is going to be really tough to change certain habits but as long as your trying your girlfriend will b happy. its almost been a year since my boyfriend has converted and he still has habits that I dont like but I can see that hes trying so as long as you truly try and your girlfriend has patience everything should be fine. good luck.

Answered by angelwings on Sep 29, 2009, 08:18PM
5 answers

if you love her and she loves you than it shouldnt matter what your religious beliefs are. but if you really really love her than you would convert to her religion and just try, thats all she can ask from you is try.

autumn leaf Answered by jlw82 on Sep 29, 2009, 09:55PM
1057 answers
Advisor-small

I agree 100% with ty. You can't just 'convert' or suddenly decide to follow a certain religion because someone wants you to. Like ty said, you'd just be giving yourself that label and you really wouldn't have any passion or understanding of your new found faith. I understand you love this girl and want her to be happy, but what makes your beliefs, or lack thereof, any less important than hers? Love is about compromise. You two need to figure something out that works for you both, or just agree to disagree and leave religion out of your relationship. Tell your girlfriend's parents that you take the subject seriously and when you decide to accept Christ and become a Christian, you want to be ready to really give it your all, because it would be important to you. That'll shut 'em up for a little while. =)

cogito ergo sum Answered by marianna86 on Sep 30, 2009, 12:02AM
389 answers

Listen being forced to Believe is a mistake.

Tell you what why don't you just tell her how you feel and her parents.Negotiate with them.Tolerate their religion but just tell them your true feelings that you can't just convert without any reasoning.

Well good luck okay!

Me when I'm busy Answered by arachnid on Sep 30, 2009, 01:05AM
1773 answers

If she really likes you, she oughtn't care what religion you are, and converting to a religion for convenience is pretty empty of meaning, too.

I'm the one on the far left [fyi] Answered by lyricist_on_duty_16297 on Sep 30, 2009, 01:34AM
19 answers

I will tell you, when I found God, it was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. God has granted me life eternal, not this trivial existence here on this earth but a life where there is no pain, no tears, no sadness, and no fear, in Heaven. that is the greatest gift that has ever been given to this world, I would strongly encourage you to ask to go to church with her. It's your life, you can do with it what you will, but let me tell you this, whatever you feel you have done wrong or cannot be forgiven of, God can wipe you clean. Jesus came to die for us as the ultimate sacrifice and he has forgiven you of all your sins, he has given you the greatest gift of all, all you need to do is accept it. Ask God to come live in your heart, and give up your life to him, he will bless you beyond your imagination.

I think, and this is just my opinion, that you should sit down with her parents and ask to go to church with them

and remember, God loves you and so do I
Blessed are thee, and peace be upon your path

Answered by jane_of_the_jungle on Sep 30, 2009, 03:15PM
338 answers

No I don’t think it is fair of her to expect you to convert! Would she have decided she didn’t love you anymore, if you’re answer were no??? If you get married, you do it because YOU Want, ...when you convert, you do it because YOU want and not because someone wants you to!
You don’t want to marry someone one day, because religion was a demand, you would never be happy!

What is it with women, expecting certain things from men, having cultural, Religious or family expectations because this was the norm in their Culture or family since...since the 16th century or whatever
BUT ... when it comes to other issues, they, all of a sudden change their attitudes and want to play their female role in modern society??? Equal opportunities when it suits them? Double standards perhaps? Why can’t they realise, what they expect, might very well be expected from them!
Versa visa !
Be fair in your expectations; place yourself in another’s situation BEFORE demanding someone to change their life’s, so it suit you!

my own BONSAI tree!!! :D! Answered by athleta4life on Oct 01, 2009, 12:04AM
311 answers

I think if she knows what she believes in, bieng a Christian, then she SHOULD have the understanding that trying to convert you for the sake of your relationship is very wrong.

its being forced. fake. and it shouldnt be a conversion.

dont do it. you'll be lying. and her bieng a Christian should understand that asking for such a thing is way beyond what she *believes*.

shes only doing it to please her parents. I dont think she is taking into consideration your life or soul at all for that matter.

lens flare Answered by captainassassin on Oct 01, 2009, 09:19AM
6188 answers

***her parents wont allow us to be togother unless were evenly yolked. Shes recently asked me to convert***

They're taking scripture out of context... Its not against Christianity to date or marry outside your faith. And its utterly INSULTING and narrow-minded (AND un-christian) for them (and her) to expect you to just convert, when you don't even believe in it.

P.S. -- Their ''unequally yoked'' arguement, comes from [2 Corinthians 6:14], there's a counter to that in [1 Cor. 7:12-16] and [1 Peter 3:1-2]

lens flare Answered by captainassassin on Oct 01, 2009, 09:54AM
6188 answers

Simply put, the New Testament DOES NOT FORBID INTER-FAITH RELATIONSHIPS. The ACTUAL meaning of the 'yoked' analogy, with regards to a relationship; is that the beliefs of one person should not be dominant over the other. So your girlfriend and her parents are at fault in this case, for trying to force their beliefs onto you.

Answered by elynnky on Oct 03, 2009, 07:03AM
15 answers

Pretend you have converted until you both reach 18, and then there is nothing her parents can do about it.

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