Depressing day

Well Today Is July 19
-Exactly One Year Since My Aunt Passed Away

-My Dads Birthday

My Aunt Was Like A Grandmother To Me I Loved Her Like I've
Never Loved Anyone Else I Just Cant Help
But To Cry She Was Such A Big Part Of My Life
I Miss Her;;I...

Really Do..
I Just Dont Think Imma Handle Going To The
Cementary..Im Afraid Im Gunna Have A Mental Breakdown
Im Just Doing Really Bad Handaling Her Death
I've Held In All My Emotions..I Just Think Im Gunna Burst
I've Cried At Night So Many Times because I Just Keep Thinking
Shes Here...Like No Lie In MY Mind Its Like Shes Still Alive
I Miss Hearing Her Voice Joking Around With Her
I Just Feel Like No One Understands Me
My Boyfriend Wouldnt Care He's Too Caught Up In
His Life My Mom Wouldnt Be Much Help
I Just Feel So Alone Right Now
Plus I Dont want to Make A Scene
What Can I Possibly Do To Like Deal With Everything?
How Can I Understand That Shes Gone?
Someone Please Help Me =[

My mom passed away about two years ago. So I know its so hard! I will just say that its unbearable going to the grave.Its when reality will hit you and hard! I go see my mom once a week. I talk to her and it helps me! I cry every night! I don't think the pain will ever go away. Its hard when no one understands really. My dad started drinking when mom passed away and my brother is in jail. So I have no one either! It took me a long time to realise. I would see something in a store and say I should get this for mom and after I would think it burst into tears in a store. Sorry I cant give you tips but I posted a simmalar question earlier! You can read the answers I got too. They may help you! I hope things get better for you.

You can start by not capitalizing every single word...(why do kids even do that, I have no idea)
Second, do things that make you feel happy, I guess. Like remember the good times you had with your granny.

        Simply a Rose to brighten your day,
        And maybe lessen the cares in your way;
        And also, too, to help you to know,
        That in knowing you, many others grow!

 
The best thing is to try to perceive that she has simply moved on to another level or room in her progressive growth back toward the Oneness of God.

Your pain is caused because of your suffering from YOUR loss. In realizing that she is okay and continuing on, you may be able to make her passing more acceptable to you.

We ALL have to experience what she is experiencing, she is just preceding us.