I want some funny or good comebacks

Please don't say just to ignore them. OK. I want some funny or good comebacks for when someone tells you to shut up, or says a hate you ETC... what are some good comebacks?

'Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?'

“I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped.”

'I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.'

“I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh”

“Just because I'm moody doesn't mean you're not irritating.”

“The only fool bigger than the one who thinks he knows it all is the one who argues with him.”

“Your village just called, their missing their idiot!”

'That slut! When she dies they’ll have to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin'

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.'

“Big mouths and small brains don’t mix!”

'I’d call her a c**t, but she lacks the depth and the charm'

if someone every says im sorry I cant do anything right then your comeback should be me 2

well, it's kinda hard to give you solid comebacks when normally, you have to single out some insecurity the person has and run with it...do you have a specific person in mind?

say 'No, you shut up.'

That'll get 'em.

how about 'no one is making you listen, dumbass'

Ummm Nicely?

'Take A Chill Pill.'

You and xxsoccergirlxx should hook up together and think of some together. Haha.

My answer would be 'I'd expect that from a pneumocephlytic' (pronounced new-mow seph-lit-ic.), and just walk off. It is a medical term for 'airhead'.

lol.lol.lol.ty