I want some funny or good comebacks

Please don't say just to ignore them. OK. I want some funny or good comebacks for when someone tells you to shut up, or says a hate you ETC... what are some good comebacks?

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

“I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped.”

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

“I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh”

“Just because I'm moody doesn't mean you're not irritating.”

“The only fool bigger than the one who thinks he knows it all is the one who argues with him.”

“Your village just called, their missing their idiot!”

That slut! When she dies they’ll have to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

“Big mouths and small brains don’t mix!”

I’d call her a c**t, but she lacks the depth and the charm

ok heres a good one

you: Oh,I forgot to say that I'm really sorry about the accident.
he/she: What accident?
you: Oh...you mean you were born that way?

be like; is that the best you got, where you born retarded, or just dropped on your head as a little kid

dont push me, Push a push pop

if someone says your gay then say (depending on your gender) well tell ya mum/dad its over!

well, it's kinda hard to give you solid comebacks when normally, you have to single out some insecurity the person has and run with it...do you have a specific person in mind?

If someone asks me what time it is I would look at my wrist(I'm not wearing a watch) and say: Hmm, I don't know my watch is broken.

Dont push me push a push pop

lol.lol.lol.ty

say No, you shut up.

That'll get 'em.

if someone every says im sorry I cant do anything right then your comeback should be me 2

how about no one is making you listen, dumbass

Ummm Nicely?

Take A Chill Pill.

You and xxsoccergirlxx should hook up together and think of some together. Haha.

My answer would be I'd expect that from a pneumocephlytic (pronounced new-mow seph-lit-ic.), and just walk off. It is a medical term for airhead.

HHMMM...OH! I know, YO MOMMA XD

Dont push me, push a push pop.

I would love to leave you with a thought, but clearly there is no where to put it. lol hope it helps!!

you; when they were giving out brains you thought they said trains and ran to the station !!!

u climbed the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down