What if i've already had sex but want to become a christian?

I'm a 29 year old guy thats never been religous, I did attend catholic church when I was a kid for a brief amount of time but I was never baptized. I recently started reading the bible at work because a co worker had it and I was actually bored so I...

started reading it, I really got into it and now I read it everyday. The thing I'm mostly struggling with now is sex I'm not married, The bible says that I should be married to have sex and if I have sex outside of marriage its a sin. I do have a girl friend and we do have sex and I have had sex with different partners in the past. But now that I've started reading this bible and understood it more and more, I want to be sactified I want to go to heaven, I want to have a fullfilling marriage, but what do I do about my current situation? I'm not sure I want to marry the woman I'm with now. Is that a sign that I must break up with her and repent? If I do break up with her should I still stay friends with her? I'm so confused!?
I feel like I'm understanding the bible more everyday but I feel like my life is about to change and I don't know how I'll react out of my comfort zone..

my best friend is atheist. I am jewish and I believe in Christ. we have been the best of friends for over 20 years and never once have either of us tried to convert the other. she has respect for my views because they are my views and vice versa.
the only problem that I would have with anyone of any belief would be if they were judgmental and trying to ram it down my throat.
and if you don't believe in the bible or whatever, why does it madden you? that is what I don't get. why the anger? it is not hurting you. now, if it is someone (like some on Fun Advice) that get judgmental and start typing in capitals and want to condemn you to eternal fire and brimstone, I can see how that gets your dander up but the rest of of seem pretty calm and level headed. dial it back a notch, nebula.
there is room in this world for everyone with every viewpoint.

Regard the Bible as a metaphor and not a word by word rule. So do not make sex without any inner personal attraction with anybody, but if you make your present g/f happy with your love and sex that is 100% Okay. God likes smiling and happy lovers much better than apathetic married couples.

if you are considering christianity you do not need to worry about your past sin unless you are currently still having sex. it's something that you need to give up until you are married. it might be easier to fun mail me... that way I can answer your questions that you have. but once you have made a profession of faith you are forgiven for the sins you have done and whatever sins you commit while being saved. not saying that you should go out and do whatever you want because everything you do will be judged when you die. anyway, fun mail me because it can be confusing and I want to make as much sense as possible without confusing you even more!

if you repented and got baptized, then your good.it really depends on if you really want to and how bad.I'm 17 and already had sex but I repented, got baptized and recieved the holy ghost.its hard but if your determined, you can do it just dont have sex anymore

Obviously, you're looking for some 'meaning' in your life, and you think you've found it with the Bible. That euphoric feeling won't last. Don't make any life altering decisions just because the Bible says you should. The Bible is just an old book, written by humans, like any other.

my boyfriend a christian and he had the same problem with me, cus hes christian he didnt think that he cud have sex befor marridge but in the end he looked into a bit and relised that the bible is more like guildlines , god likes to see people who are in love and sex is an act of love, its seen as wrong when your having sex with some one that you are not in love with or one night stands! but if its bothering you that much talk to your girlfriend about it or talk to someone at your local church im sure there be able to tell you what to do
xxx

That has got to be so difficult for you, but just remember that god wants you as you are. The changes you make in your life will only bring you closer to him.

I once asked about this to my priest and he said if you love the girl then that is all that matters. God can see you love her and just because you havent married does not mean you will. I sugest you ask a priest for guidence.

I agree you need to talk to someone in leadership at your church about this, and also to your girlfriend. On Fun Advice we can give you some degree of help, but the real advice is going to come from people who know you and your situation better than we do. For example, how does your girlfriend feel about your spiritual discoveries? If she's interested and wants to know more, then you can work this out together, not on your own.

The Bible is not an old book written by man!
If Man wrote the Bible then how on earth could a mere man fore tell the future thousands of years before biblical events even happened (Oh must have been magicians and fortune tellers Eh!)
Who could write the history before the events actually happened? In Genisis chapter 3 (the first book of the bible ever written) it is foretold of Jesus's birth which happened around five thousand years later! read Genisis 3:15 That is just one example. Obviously these people dont read Historical events or have studied history in great depth.

I hate it when people make comments about things they nothing about ! they write negative comments and hope the majority of non believers will agree with them. However , I do like a debate and any one with an ounce of intelligence will seek to find the truth if they are interested inthe truth. Its all there and plenty of historical charts, books and physical evidence to it back up and cross reference . I suggest you go and look for yourselves.

my my glynescampbellgreeneyes. I can appreciate anyone's opinion but you certainly come across a little strong. if I didn't believe and was looking for the word and read one of your posts, I think that it would completely turn me off. I don't think that anyone is arguing with you here. just asking and answering questions.

How do you know Genises wasn't writen at the same time as the New testament? because it says so? I can write a book now and say it was writin 1000 years ago would you believe that. Look im a Catholic and a pretty devot one too I might add but, Im not ignorant either. Those words were Wrote by man plain and simple.
When Catholism was first adopted by the Romans they got together and put the Bible together. These scriptures were wrote by man.
Our holy dates say 25th of December for instance is meant to be the birhtday of Jesus right? Well its a little known fact that jesus was born sometime in march and he's birthday was changed to the 25th of December to co-incide with a Pagan haliday. Its a lot easier to convert someone if the feast days are the same don't you think.

Anyway I've waffled on for long enough lol

why would you want to contribute to ingnorance?If religion isn't good for moral or spiritual values, then what's it good for. Wishful thinking, of an afterlife. All we are is our minds and all we are is controlled by our brain(nucleus) You obviously have no knowledge of the natruel world if you want to convert out of all religions CHRISTIAN. If you do, please note that the Bible is not factual.

The bible was writen by man, it does not vaguly predict the future. I could write a book saying there were going to be houvering cars and stuff like that, would I be considered to tell the future, when SOME or a couple or of those things randomly out of coincidence were assumed to come true? out of mysteriously written predictions that are only assumed to be true or even close to what happened.

People who made up the bible - that's isn't true, could have just set it up that way, for the story that doesn't even make sense or isn't even possible, and scientifically inaccurate.

Ah now steady on now whats wrong with being Christian? People shouldn't be too pushy with there views. Why can't we just accept what people want to believe in without making them feel stupid?

glynescampbellgreeneyes, Genesis 3:15 is not a prophecy about Jesus, rather, Galations simply makes a reference back to it. Would you expect the writers of the NT to ignore what was written in the OT? That seems odd. Most of the so-called prophecies in the NT fall into this same category, whereby bits and pieces of the OT were taken out of context and claimed to be prophetic after the fact. It's the same thing people do today with the 'prophecies' of Nostradamus, or Muhammed.

uncledoody: you're right, and I'm sorry I offended you, you know you're the first person I've come across that didn't FLAME or offend or try to change views, or express your religion.
but you know what I still don't understand why people believe in the bible when it's proven to be wrong, and most likley made up. if they are not willing to trust scientists, who try to find ways to save their lives, ect. that's fine but please don't preach [your] nonsense, unless you're asked makes you look ignorant.

Nebula, I'm scared to answer in case you think I'm flaming or offending, but I agree with you that we need to bear in mind 'unless you're asked'... On this one, the questioner wants to be a Christian so I would say that Christians have been asked to reply using their understanding of their faith. So have others - it's open to anyone. But other religion questions seems much more general, and not Christian-specific, and there I try to be careful to be less Bible-quoting in my answers.

PS - is there an uncledoody fanclub?

PPS - I can prove I'm willing to trust scientists - I'm married to one.

where do I sign up for the uncledoody fanclub. quite a smart young man.
my husband is a musician, raised christian and I am a biochemist, raised jewish.never a conflict, well as least regarding science and religion. lol. his family are extreme evangelical christians but his father is a physicist. never a conflict there either.

Flossheal, that doesn't make much sense.. and doesn't make you a good Christian either. You can't change the words of God and persume your own right? So you're just addmitting the Bible is false. It says, God created man from dirt, and put every living thing on this planet. that completly contradicts evolution. It also says God created the Earth in 6 days. That is impossible, and an ignorant belief. It contradicts what we know about astronomy and physics today. Clearly the bible was written by Human, a God wouldn't make so much ignorant assumptions and mistakes. The problem I had here was with glynescampbellgreeneyes. And uncledoody respectfully made me realize I should be more respectful of people who want to become Christian for whatever reason, that might not have to do with their knowledge of science.

newfoundfate, if you are seriously considering full-fledged conversion to Chirstianity I have a few suggestions that you may want to take into account.

1. It's not easy to be a Christian. It's immpossible to be a perfect Christian. We all have sins and faults and failures. We all have weaknesses (see Paul's letter to the Romans). That doesn't mean that we should give up or stop trying. God is asking us to be faithful to him, not necesssarily succesful. It's never going to be easy to take up your cross and follow Christ, but he still wants you to follow him.

2. Christians have always taken sex and sexual morality very seriously. This is not by accident. Since the beginning, the Church has taught that the place for sex is marriage, because that is the best place to have a family and raise children. Marriage is not a natural institution, but is something that is meant to mirror Christ's love for his Church (see Paul's letter to the Ephesians). If we are going to put ourselves in a position to be parents (people that have sex), we have a responsibility to the children to provide a safe and stable environment for them to grow up.

3. If you really are going to convert, that is something that will change your whole life. I suggest speaking seriously to your girlfriend about your current situation. It seems to me that she may respect you in your newfound beleifs and convictions. If she does, then you may have found a rare treasure: someone who understands you and you can have a serious connection. If she doesn't respect a serious decision that you make, then you may have to look at your relationship realizing these new boundaries you've discovered. Either way, she deserves to have you be honest with her.

ah shuks you guys im only trying to help (getting ambaresed here lol)