A song for my band?

Yes. For those who don't know I DO have a band. The reason I hadn't mentioned it before is because, well, I don't know. We might be splitting up. Our drummer Adam is very violent and abusive so we either need another drummer or split. But anyway, I am lead guitar and vocals. Yeah, it's a little hard at the same time, but if we can find another lead guitarist, then I'm set. I'd just like to know...is this a good song? I know it's hard to give me a good opinion when you don't really know how it sounds, but I wrote it in...I'd like to say 10 minutes. I was feeling really emo and someone said it was pretty good. So..?

*Intro guitar (that's ME!!)*

As the world is sleeping,
my soul longs to feed my hunger,
to end all that isn't right
to cease this Hell and take my life

All remains calm and still,
but not so inside of me,
I look to the sun now setting,
*scream* WHY DOES NO ONE STOP ME!

~Chorus~
In the silence of the night,
as the world is sound asleep,
No one cares that despite this silence,
a war rages inside of me
*scream* TAKE. IT. A-WAAAY!

I lay smiling, inside I'm screaming
a soul dying while the rest are dreaming,
Now the moonlight fades to a glimmer,
*Scream* I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW!!

~Chorus, scream x2~

sweet lullabies play softly
of all the things I've said and done
now they're buzzing all around my head
as I cease to exist

I'm sorry for all the things I've done
I wish I could take it back
I can't take back that I was born,
but I won't screw up anymore!

~Chorus x2, no scream on first, but on second~

*sung softly* Take it away...

so...? Yeah it sucks but what did you expect?

its not bad at all I like it..it sounds awsome

I think that sounds great! I have a band! Red Fango!
I know you wrote that in 10 minutes and it isn't bad but I think that
if you just spend more time on it, the song just may be a hit someday!!!

that's wicked awsome!!! I'm impressed

thats really good. especially since you labeled what was going on, it doesnt suck.

It depends on the sound really. There are some great songs out there that make no sense at all, and other songs that are pure poetry but sound bad and so they're crap.

...but as far as lyrics go, it evokes emotion - which is the whole point. If the melody matches those emotions, it could be great.

BTW- we call ourselves 'Drastic Measures' but that names probably already taken, so it's not set or anything!