Funadvice

What to do...

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years now. We have a 7 year old child together. He has 3 other prior children with his ex-girlfried ages 15, 14 and 8. When I first met him it was hard because he already had children so I helped him raise the two older children because he had custody of them. Then I had my own. He cheated on me the first year I was with him then again year 3. Last year he kicked me out because we were just fighting everyday. We never stopped seeing each other, I stay with him on the weekends. But now his cousin is living here and he is a 21 year old single loser with no job. So now my boyfriend and him are always together and he spends every available minute with him. I love him so much and hes all I know. It is just so hard because he gets mad when I even mention the fact that he spends too much time with his cousin. His older children no longer live with him either so now he lives alone unless I am staying on the weekend. Im so tired of this relationship already. I just feel ever since his cousin came here things are so messed up. I want to let go but Its so hard. What do I do? or more like How do I let go?

You seem quite certain of the fact that you want to discontinue this relationship, so I won’t go into the relationship repair side of things. Love is a powerful emotion and it can intimidate you and your decision-making. You need to think about yourself and what you want in life. You know that you need someone who cares about you and who will cherish you. You do not have that in this relationship and the regular fights are always a worry in any relationship context.

You need to focus mainly on the positives of breaking up, rather than the negatives of breaking up, the potential positives I’ve staying with this man or even the negatives of staying in the relationship (necessarily). If you are able to break this off, you can have a clear mind and the opportunity to find a new boyfriend who can give you the love that you are looking for. Don’t think of ending a relationship as a bad thing. People always think they’ll never find another person that good again, but it comes down to you. Remember that you are a loving person and that you deserve someone who can return those emotions.

Ultimately my advice is to look at what benefits there are to breaking up, before thinking about anything else. You will be clear-headed and you will notice a sense of freedom. You won’t feel any burdens or weight on your shoulders. Next think about the negatives of being in this relationship. This person is always fighting with you and this is unhealthy (emotionally) for both of you and this is not to mention that you are feeling jealous that he always focuses attention on your cousin.

You know what is right for you and that this relationship is at its breaking point. Don’t let your pessimism or wonderous thoughts betray you. You need to stop thinking about how bad life will be without this person in it; you need to think about how this will free you emotionally. Leave and don’t look back! You know what you need in life and this man can’t give it to you.

Good luck :)!!!

What to do...

Love & Relationships