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My relationship is a mess

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6years. We have a 5year old son together and a baby on the way.

We do not live together. He lives at home with his dad and grandma and I live with my mother, which is another story in itself. Anyways, ever since I became pregnant we never see eachother anymore, I am 4 months along, I am hardly allowed at his house because his dad is a very mean person and puts me down and is a little crazy.

He doesn’t like coming to my house because my mom sisters and stepdad are very messy people, I don’t have a bedroom and have to sleep on a pullout bed in the living room. I will eventually get a place to live but right now it seems like our relationship is not a relationship at all.

He says he loves me and he says he is so happy that I am pregnant again but he is never around doesn’t help me with our son and is not working or helping me support “the family”. I’m am very depressed right now and feel so alone. I have a ton of medical problems and I start working tomorrow.

What do I do? I have talked to him about our relationship time and time again and he says he wants this to work but he is not doing anything to make changes. I’m 22 and he is 25. Should I ignore it and try to start my own life, just me my son and baby? It is so hard to walk away from such a long time relationship with a kid and new pregnancy. I’m scared.

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Answer #1

25, has a kid, has another one on the way and doesn’t have a job, wow. Im going to try and keep this nice, but guys like that piss me off so I’ll keep my answer vauge. Some guys have no ambition, and usually they never get any. at 25 he shouldn’t be living with his grandparents without a job. And he should be there for your son and the new baby every chance he has. im not sure how you want to go about this, but you need to get on his as* to find a job and start helping you. it must be hard enough taking care of a 5yr old with another one on the way, and having no help from the father. at 25 its time for him to man up, and if he doesn’t want to mabey you should start looking at other options. 6 years is a long time, but if he wants to coast through life for the next 5 years when he has kids, you deserve more.

Answer #2

Dear confusedmind, You need to go to social services and get your own place. There is nothing that should be stopping you from doing this. You need to do this now not eventually but now. You may be living at your mother’s place so that you can have daycare? But if you have medical issues you shouldn’t be working. Speak with your doctor about backing you up on this when you speak with social services. Tell them that your living conditions are contributing to you bad health. They will proceed to get you out and into your own place. I have a feeling once you do leave your boyfriend will come around. But for now you do have to think of yourself and your children. This is the most important thing at the moment. There are many resources out there to help you and you need to start being a strong parent and find these resources in your area. You are not only responsible for yourself but for your child and unborn. Get moving to be more proactive in finding a solution and the help you need. Most are just a phone call away. Staying where you are is unhealthy for everyone. Sue…good luck

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