Well There's This Girl

So I’m 19 as of March. I have a friend who’s 18. His girlfriend is 16, and she has a friend who’s also 16. They, I, and other friends of ours have been hanging out a lot lately, and my 18 year old friend told me his girlfriend’s friend likes me.

A girl liking me is a first for me, or at least me knowing about it, as basically since ever my social life with girls has been basically non-existent. I’m not sure why. That’s just how things were. So when I heard that she liked me, and afterwards noticed indications of such, I suddenly, yet rather unwillingly, began having feelings for her. And by that I mean I really started caring about her.

Firstly, I noticed that I was basically constantly thinking about her, in that I was pretty much constantly anticipating/wondering when the next time we’d all be hanging out and she’d be around.

Then, just last night, a friend of some of my friends was having a party at his house. No one there was over 18, and it was one of those lame and weak ‘lets get drunk and stoned’ shindigs. My previously mentioned 18 year old friend, being one of those morons who thinks getting drunk (while underage) is cool, was attending, and his girlfriend and her friend (the one who likes me) tagged along, as they often tag along with him.

Two of my friends and I didn’t attend, because we’re not morons, and we at first were thinking about how funny and great it would be if we called the police on them, because they all would have gotten busted, and some of them would had suffered some serious consequences, which despite the fact they our are friends probably deserve it. But I found I ultimately disregarded the idea simply because I didn’t want Her to get in trouble. Plus, them all getting in trouble would mean I in all probability wouldn’t get to see her again, at least not for some time. So instead we just sneaked over to the party and threw smoke bombs at them.

Well anyway, in the process of our super secret undercover smoke bomb operation, one of my three friends I was with got spotted by the aforementioned 18 year old friend with the girlfriend who’s friend likes me as they were leaving the party, and reportedly She was either drunk, high, or some degree of both. My 18 year old friend inquired as to if my other third friend and I were around, but he told them we were not. But despite the fact that She reportedly kept asking where I was, the idea that She partook in such moronic activities infuriated me, though I found I was angry at the 18 year old friend of mine, because as I saw it he basically dragged them into it, but there’s always the possibility that in my mind I just didn’t want to blame Her. Kept me up for some time that night just thinking about how much that all sucked, too.

But I don’t know what more to tell you. I guess that’s the abridged account of the situation. I just don’t know what the hell I am to do. I mean I know I’m 19 and out of high school, and she’s 16 and a sophomore in high school, but it’s not my fault this is happening. And yeah. It’s not just that we’re apparently attracted to one another, but I care about her. I want her to stop drinking and smoking. And lying to her parents by saying she’s studying every time we’re all hanging out.

Any advice on the situation?

Answer #1

If you liked her, you’d start talking to her and stop hiding behind smoke bombs. The fact that you don’t know her that well makes you imagine someone that may not be up to your imagination. I think it infatuates you that she could like you and it makes you feel feelings that you don’t really know are real or not. Also caring about someone doesn’t mean you want to control their lives and ask them to change who they are. Start by being a good friend to her, listen to her and tell her how you feel but mostly, get to know her. That’s the only way to do justice to her, yourself and your feelings.

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