Home More advice Love & Relationships
i was wondering what other people felt about this, if its ever to soon to say it? cause my last bf said it in a month n i honestly dident know what to say i felt it was way to soon like ik time shouldent be a factor that you should say it when the times right but i felt it was to soon... which dosent make sense cause my first bf we said it before we dated as like friends... then when we started dating it just felt like a different kinda love like it just felt right...so i was wondering what other people thought about when it comes to telling the person there with that they love them..
I love you -- three little words packed with tons of meaning. If both people in a relationship are ready to profess their love to each other, boldly declaring those words can convey a sense of happiness beyond compare. But if one person isn't ready to hear it, even the sweetest and most promising relationship could nosedive into an awkward tailspin.
Love is one of those four-letter words that can make you gush with happiness or retreat into humiliation. Much of the confusion about saying "I love you" comes from the fact that love has many different definitions. For some, love means feeling especially close to another person. For others, "I love you" is tantamount to asking, "Will you marry me?"
Another problematic aspect of saying "I love you" is that some people are uncomfortable with talking about love or relationships in general. If your significant other grew up without hearing his or her parents say those three special words to each other, he or she might be uncomfortable saying it to you.
Then, there's the issue of commitment. If your partner is uneasy about saying "I love you," it might be a sign that they view the expression as a fetter that binds them to a relationship they're not ready for. Some people even use the words manipulatively. Saying "I love you" is another way of saying, "You can't break up with me -- it would hurt me too much."
Before we talk about when is right to say those three magic words, let's look at when you definitely shouldn't say "I love you:"
*When you're unusually emotional and not thinking rationally *When you've had too much to drink *When you're in a sexually charged situation *When you want to reward a nice gesture
So, when is the right time to say "I love you?" It's usually best to wait at least a few months into a relationship that you're confident will last. After you've determined that you're in it for the long haul, you should talk to your significant other about your feelings to see if you're on the same page. Ask your partner if he or she could picture a future with you and if he or she feels like you're a good match. By testing the waters, you'll not only find out how your significant other is feeling, you'll also put your feelings on the table and prepare him or her if you do decide to say "I love you." Also, say it in person, rather than over the phone or through e-mail. That way, you can read body language to get a sense of how your significant other is feeling.
Taking the time to decide when you're ready to say "I love you" will prove worth the wait. After all, nothing is more meaningful than knowing that someone loves you and you love them in return.
I think, in your situation, he can say it after a month, because you guys were friends first and already knew each other. If you'd just been dating for a month, then I think it would be too early- he may genuinely think he loves you but it in fact just infatuation with his perceived idea on who you are. I think to truly love somebody you have to have been through a lot with them, seen their dark side and their good side, picked them up when they fell down, enjoy good times together, get through bad times together too.
I personally think you have to live with somebody for a while to get a true feeling as to who they are, fall asleep to their heart beating every night and awake in the morning to their breath on your skin. When you think in duplicates, make everything in a double serving, and subconsciously only buy the things they like when going grocery shopping. They are messy and you have slightly different decorating scheme ideas but neither of you care because you just want to live absolutely smothered in everything to do with the other person. When you don't mean to, but you shut your friends out and stop going out places because you'd rather be at home doing nothing with the one you love. When literally, everything you do is for them, when you would take a bullet for them right now, that's when you're in love with them.
I don't think it's about the amount of time really, it's more about the feeling. The part where time does come in is where I don't believe you can love someone within a month, fall in love yes, but not love. Not that fast anyways, unless you knew one another well prior to dating. I think your "didn';t know what to say" with your last boyfriend was simply that you didn't love him and so it made it weird for you. As you said, this time it's a different kind of love and perhaps this time the feeling is real or reciprocated and so it feels right this time.
Your welcome. Remember everyone isn't gonna feel the same as someone else, all you can do is be honest about how you feel. My bf was like that, I would tell him I loved him but he didn't say it back for the longest time. Keep this thought in mine, when you talk to people that you care about let them know how you feel about them cause ya never know, you may not get the chance if you dont. And your most welcome :-)
Just something in my experience, food for thought. Many years ago, I told myself I would never say it again until I "really" meant it. There are many other words / ways to express to someone that you care for them without using a word that so super powerful..........The word Love opens doors that may not be ready yet.
It's how YOU feel about the person. Not about how he feels....
Why are people afraid of sharing how they feel? Why does it have to depend on how their partner feels?
Realistically, if you love him, you love him. Regardless of the time, place, or his thought/feelings on it.
My feelings on saying I love you goes like this, if you dont love someone you shouldn't say it and if you do love them, tell them, whether or not they say it back. At least you will know you said how you feel, that is very important
thank you ya i dident say it back to him for awhile i just idk i guess dident feel that way yet... it was to soon for me n he would get mad.... n like throw it in my face cause his feelings were stronger then mine
I honestly think it all depends in how u feel. If ur in love at a month then thts the time. If in love at 14 months then that's the time. It's all based on how u feel.
ya ik what you mean i dident know him long only like a month before dating n ya i agree was just a little unsure but thanks for the responds
