Funadvice Logo
Explore Join
More Parents & Family Questions

How can I tell my parents about my relationship with an older man?

I’ve been secretly seeing this guy for over a year now. He’s about 10 years older than me, but he’s married. He and his wife absolutely do not get along. They are in the process of filing for a divorce. She won’t move out, so he’s going to have to. We’re serious about being together and we’ve been looking at houses. So it’s only a matter of time before we move in together. I’m going to college so I still live with my parents. They have no idea about my relationship and I’d like to tell them but I don’t know how. They will probably disapprove but I’m 21 so there’s not that much they could do, but I just don’t know how to come out and say it.

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

Well, I’ve been seeing this guy over a year now. He is 12 years older than me but I love him with all my heart. He was in a serious relationship before with his ex but they’re broke up now and he doesn’t even like to talk about her. But whatever, the fact of the matter is, we’ve been dating secretly and not very many people knows about us being together but a couple. I did not know how to tell my Mom because I was scared about what she might of said. But one day, she found out on her own and asked me about it. She was in tears, very upset, and very mad. She said that I was too young to be going with a man that old. She told me that guys like that only use girls for one thing, and one thing only. Sex. But I told her that I wasn’t stupid and that I loved this guy for who he was and not for the sex. Unfortunately, my mom owns a business around here and she hears alot of things; and to top it off, he goes there while she’s working. I get really nervous but I’ve learned to deal with it. Now, I’ve met his family and the whole world knows about us…including my Mom for the second time. She understands that now that I’m older, there’s not much she can do but except him in our family and treat him like one of us. But this is not what I would suggest, you girls should do. Speak to your Mom, and tell her straight up that you’re simply in love with another man! Anonymous.

Answer #2

The fact that they are only in the process of “filing for divorce” leads me to think you shouldnt be so quick to tell them! You seriously need to wait until everything is final before planning your future with this guy! Do you know for a fact that the process of filing has started, or is he telling you what you want to hear? Why has it taken him this long to start the divorce?

Relationships born out of affairs survive less than 5 percent of the time. If he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you. If he’s living this deception with you today, how could you ever trust him if you did get into a legitimate relationship with him?

If i were you i would wait, because nothing is set in stone with your relationship yet. You cant just go on everything he tells you without seeing proof!! I just wouldnt feel as secure about this as you seem to be. I really hope the guy is being 100% honest with everything he tells you, because almost ALL men that have mistresses are NOT honest. They tell the girl everything she wants to hear, but never follows through on any of it!! So please prove me wrong on this one!

Answer #3

If he will cheat on his wife he will cheat on you too. . . I’m not even gonna mention how lowly I think of your relationship with him. You remind me of my now Exfriend who had an affair with my now ExWife. .. You really should be ashamed of yourself.

Answer #4

hey there, its not our fault who we fall for but if he cheated on his wife then he will most liky chaet on u , when someone cheats once they will do it again and again, my mum did and shes done it at least 3 times that i know of .. but if you want to stay with this guy then wait till the divorce is all out of the way cus this will cause more coplications of telling ur parents!!! just remember once a cheater alwasy a cheater, no one changes for the good!!! X

More Like This
Advisor

Parents & Family

Parenting, Marriage, Childcare

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Answers for Parents

Parenting, Family, Education

Advisor

Mummy Matters: Parenting and ...

Parenting, Lifestyle

Advisor

Tango Family

Parenting, Family, Health

Advisor

Parentinglogy

Parenting, Child Development, Family Health