Stoner Boyfriend?!...

PLEASE HELP ME HELP HER!!!

Ok so one of my best friends is going out with this guy and she REALLY loves him and can’t bear to loose him. He was one of her best friends for over a year or two before they started going out and they’ve sort of been on and off about 3 times,first time they went out for like a month,then two (both times she broke it off because she thought she was still in love with her ex and was confused, but then she realised when they were apart that she can’t do without him and got really depressed and told me she contemplated suicide because it hurt so much to be without him!) and now they’ve been going out for 3 straight and he makes her so happy and is all she wants except for one big problem.

They have all the same friends and they get to see each other at school but they just hang out in a group and ya to me and everyone else they seem perfect because they’re all coupley and stuff but then like every weekend he gets STONED!! It’s just weed joints and it’s not the fact that he’s doing it that bothers her,it’s the way he treats her when he’s doing it and when he gets high. Like when they hang out in town at the weekend,their only time together outside of school because they live so far apart and are both in an exam year,he put getting stoned ahead of spending time with her. Not on purpose but it really hurts her + she’s quite sensitive because she has low self esteem even though she is a beautiful person!!

She’s spoken to him about it so many times before and how it makes her feel and he really is a nice guy and loves her but today at lunch at school he left her to go smoke a bong with his guy friends and she didn’t know where he’d gotten to and then after lunch,they had two classes together,their only 2 together all week,and he wouldn’t even talk to her and then when she asked him to,he kept playing a game on his phone while he was supposed to be listening to her! So then for the next class she decided to ignore him and he couldn’t understand why and got all hyper at her. Then after school she went looking for him and when her other friend bumped into him and told him that she was looking for him,he just wasn’t bothered.

The same goes for when they’re in town,like last Saturday she was going to have to go home in 10 minutes and he decided to get stoned instead of spend time with her and wouldn’t even walk her to her bus stop! :/

This makes him sound like a total low life and I’ve tried explaining to her that yes it’s him that’s choosing to get high but that it’s the drug that’s treating her this way. It’s like how people change when they get drunk. But that still won’t take her hurt away…and I feel so bad because all I can do really is listen and give practical common sense type advice because I have never been treated bad by a guy and I have a really perfect boyfriend and stable long term relationship…I feel so mean for that!

Oh and my friend is 18 and he’s 17. And I just moved to their school this year in the year below them. I’m 17.

PLEASE HELP ME HELP HER

Answer #1

ok… I understand what she is going through. I dated a great guy and I thought we were perfect for each other. but bad thing was he got back into drugs.. im mean crack etc. and he broke up with me bc I tried helpin him. my best advice would be tell her to tell him either stop doing weed or lighten up on it. or she is leaving. bc she cant keep going thro this. either he stops or she leaves. it will be hard if she leaves I understand. but life goes on, she’ll find another guy that will respect her wishes. trust me, I found a great guy he doesn’t do drugs either I love him. I thought about killing myself when me and my ex died. but I realized I shouldn’t be with someone who wants to smoke weed instead of spending time with me. so tell her what I said. and let me know how things work

Answer #2

I mean when me and my ex broke up lol. sorry

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