Should my best friend just get over it?

Hey guys, So my best friend has liked this guy for like 3 1/5 years and at this party she told my friend she didn’t care if anything happened between them, but I hooked up with him and she got mad. And when I confront her I had thought we resolved it, but now she won’t talk to me. Is it wrong to feel like she should just get over it? What do I do?

Answer #1

She might not have cared if the other person hooked up with them because she feels that they are distant from the situation. However if you are closer with her and know how she feels about the boy then it is fair to say that she feels you are being insensitive and breaching your trust. This isn’t to say that she is justified, nor you, but just that if you are going to be friends with anyone it is best to communicate fully your feelings and beliefs because everyone is different and feels differently about how a situation should roll out. So maybe if you talked to your friend and tell her why it is you thought that she wouldn’t mind you all can work things out. You can’t force her to “get over it” because obviously it is something that she is trying to deal with emotionally, but maybe you all can start over and communicate better. It is never a positive thing to lose a friend over opposing perspectives.

Answer #2

thank you guys for all of you advice. really.

-I know I was fked up. and I cried basically all this morning. and I tried apologizing to her twice, but I guess she just doesn’t want to hear it right now?? and I guess all I’m worried about at this point is earning her trust back. if thats even possible. and I didn’t do it at all to hurt her, I thought she was over him. and thats the last thing I would ever want to do. do you guys think we’ll ever be friends again? I’m actually scared. I feel like sht.

Answer #3

3.5 years is a long time to have a crush on someone. You should of known even tho she said she didnt care what happened that she really did if your a true friend. Plus why would you hook up with someone that you KNOW your friend has liked for that long!! that is very rude and inconsiderate of her feelings, of all the guys…but unfortunatly it happend and it should be your responsibility to make things better between you two. If you really care about your friendship you should first off apologize and promise her next time you will think before you do something like that again and also explain to her that she should be more honest about things.

Answer #4

So where did “hooking up” with him get you? You only got used, so why would you go to such extreme just to hurt your friend? I wouldnt consider you a friend whatsoever.

Answer #5

I think that your friend is probably in love and is hurting very badly right now.she may not be able to “just get over it” its not that easy for some people. then again, if she said she didnt care what happened, you had a right to do whatever you wanted if you thought she didnt care. I would talk to her and ask her how she REALLY feels about him. if she says she doesnt care, then tell her she has no right to be mad. if she says she still likes him, im sorry, but you should probably lay off. she liked him first, after all. good luck.

Answer #6

that’s really f*coed up. And she’s your friend.

Answer #7

I’m going through kind of the same thing right now. So one day, about two months ago, one of my best friends, Gretchen, asked me who I liked. I told her I liked one of our friends who was her ex (but they broke up about a year ago) John. She told me that we would be cute together and everything, and everyday when I saw her and he would be standing somewhere near us, she’d say “Christina, you and John would be the cutest couple!” and so I figured she was okay with me liking her ex-boyfriend. A few weeks ago, I stopped liking him so I told her that I was over him and that I didn’t like him anymore. So just today I got a phone call from one of my other friends, Courtney, and she told me that Gretchen and Kelly (another friend of ours) were talking about how Gretchen was really mad at me for liking John and that it was fxcked up and Gretchen didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. I cried my eyes out for about 5 hours today and I didn’t want to believe she would throw away our friendship over a some guy that I didn’t even like anymore.

But I haven’t talked to her yet and I still don’t know what to do because she never once did say anything about how she didn’t want me to like him, and it can’t be my fault because I can’t just automatically know that she didn’t want me to like him! So I don’t think I’m wrong, and now a couple other people are taking her side and are mad at me too. So I’ve lost about three friends today over a stupid guy. It really sucks.

But I think you should just talk to her, try your hardest. Just leave her a voice mail/e-mail/myspace message, whatever. If she ignores you then at least you got to say how you felt.

^ This is really long.

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