should I wait it out?

2 years ago my b-friend had a lung transplant and moved his parents in w/ him to help while he rehabilitated. All this before we were together. We had dated in our early 20s and then met again in our 30’s I am 31 now,aftef 9 mo he asks me to move in with him and his family now including younger sister. He and his mom tell me that when he and I start our family that they will move out and maybe build a house or park a big R.V on the property and live next door.

He is a mamas boy and he is her favorite or so his siblings say. and you can really tell. But anyway she is a nice lady a bit over bearing and nosy but good. and truth be told I like her. His dad is grouchy and always negative, insensitive and tends to speak his mind. I like him too but walk on eggshells around him so as not turn his focus on me. my b-friends younger sister is in her 20’s responsible likes going out w/ friends so she hardly here but can have a tendency to be opinionated and a bit brash like her father sometimes.

We get along most of the time but I inevitably step on toes. I want them to like me and for the most part I think they do. Sometimes I feel like everything is going to be okay and we can live together other times like now I just want to move out with my b-friends and get our own apt because this house doesn’t feel like it his it feels like its his parents house. We dont have any privacy and that is important to me. I’ve told him this and he got really mad and then when I kept talking about it and he half heartedly said he’d do it but iknow its not what he wants.

My friend says its because he has the best of both worlds in his home his mother and his g-friend what could be better? so my question is should I wait it out til we start a fam or should I move out and hope that my b-friend fallows and start a fam?

Answer #1

If I were you and had the means to, I would have my own place and invite him to live with me. You’re right, where he’s living now is more like a home for his family, rather than his place and his parents just hanging around.

Sure his family may be nice (overall, anyway) and you get along with them mostly, but in time your patience will wear thin and things will be kinda edgy at times when you feel less gracious. Even if they move out to build a house/trailer next to you, that’s a bit too close to home, so to speak.

Having your own place will help him to be relearn to be more independent again, like the days before his surgery. He can still be a mama’s boy if he wants, but he will have to go visit her when he wants. Isn’t this better than him having his Mom over practically every day? And believe me, if he can, he WILL have her over all the time, if only just so she could do the laundry for him and pull HIS weight in the household.

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