How to get over my only real relationship?

Hi everyone, recently I was in a relationship for almost a year. I’m almost 20 years old. He was my first b/f and everything.. and truly my first love. I have really bad trust issues and he knew this from the start. He really tried to fight for us in the beginning with the whole relationship thing and I gave him a chance. I never dated before so this was all risky to me. Throughout the relationship, there were times where I was iffy and almost stopped everything. I’m not going to lie, he went through hell for me.. but vice versa I put up with a lot of drama he sent over to me as well. I believe every relationship will have problems that both of you will have to work out. Anyways, about a month ago he did something stupid and I absolutely blew up. I said words that I regret till this day because I know he really loves me and everything. I said I regretted our relationship and I hope he finds a good girl and I find the right guy. The next morning we called one another and I apologized a trillion times. I understand I hurt him but those following weeks afterwards were hell. He started acting different and I couldn’t take it. I walked away from it. A week after not speaking to eachother, I texted him on valentines day. I got the total rejection and a response that said ‘obviously things are not going to work out’. I was heart broken. For a year, I listened to someone tell me how much they loved me and how he wouldnt ever let me go or even think about it. I know I need to get over it and people say its going to be hard b/c he was my first love. I have no idea what to do anymore. Help please?