ANYONE INTERESTED IN READING THE FIRST PART TO MY NOVEL? SEE IF IT IS ANY GOOD?

Untitled `Page 1 Chapter One, Defiance “I don’t want to go to some stupid private school. I was happy where I was! Why can’t you ever just leave me alone?” I pleaded. I could tell by the expression on Paul, my uncles face, that no matter what I said or did he was not going to change his mind. I already knew it was a lot cause, we were already across the world, no turning back now, great. I have never really fit in anywhere. I am average guy, six foot, black hair, and a medium build. My name is Cole Hanagain, I was born January sixteenth in the small town of Paintlick, Kentucky. My dad was Philip, he left my mom, Clair, when I was four. My mom died when I was eight and her brother took me in and raised me like his own. He is a big director in L.A. His next movie was to be filmed in London, England. Here he would be filming for a year and there was absolutely no way he would leave me by myself for that long. So here we are, my parents gone and my uncle Paul driving me to my new London private school for the next year. It was grey and cloudy when I pushed the door open and confronted the damp, cool air. My sperrys splashed in dark puddles as I headed straight for the main office. Once I reached the door, I swallowed a big gulp of air and tugged on the dull metal door. The office was a small cozy room with fading yellow walls, occupied by two dark wood desks, one of which was the sign-in desk, manned by an old man with greying hair. Sitting on the desk was a large name plate that read “Mr. Henderson” in big, bold, black letters. The old man looked bright and cheery. He soon noticed that I had walked in and peeled his gaze from his computer, “Can I help you young man?” He asked. I had to hold back a laugh because of his crisp british accent. After a moment I replied, “Yes, my name is Cole Hanagian, I am a new student.” He nodded slightly and ruffled some papers. After a moment he handed me a bright pink piece of paper which was my new schedule. After looking over my new classes, I was pleased to see that I had gym for first period and most of the others I had already taken. Making my way back to the door, I exited the office and headed towards the gym for my first class of the day. Occasionally I glanced around but most of the walk my eyes were glued to my scheduled. What I did notice when I glanced around was there were a ton of amazing girls at this school. For once Paul was right on what he promised. This I was a little bit happy about. I walked in to gym ten minutes early, sitting down, I just closed my eyes and waited for the bell to ring and the locker room to fill up. Once the bell rang, the room was filled with people talking and staring at me. I got up and started to undress out of the schools uniform. While I got dressed I noticed that most of the guys looked like mushy doe kids. In fact, I was a lot tanner and muscular than almost everyone of them, probably due to the many years I had taken brazilian jiu jitsu and taekwondo. When the class went outside, we learned how to play cricket and I met two classmates named Jacob and Drew. Jacob was tall, skinny, and had long brown that stretched all the way down his back. Drew on the other hand, was short, and stocky with muscles. He had Page 2 short brown hair. After the days lesson in gym, the three of us walked back to the gym and put on our khaki pants, blue polo shirts and sperrys that made up our school uniform. They were kind enough to show me around and I didn’t waste the opportunity. Jacob let me know that I had the easiest teacher for twelfth grade chemistry. When we arrived to my class, we exchanged our goodbyes and I thanked them for help. Slipping in the classroom, I went to take a seat when Mrs. Spun handed me a lab coat, gloves and goggles. “Welcome Cole! I hope that you like it here at your new school! I am Mrs. Spun. Take a seat wherever you would like.” Embarrassed that she had practically shrieked all this across the room, I quickly made my way to a seat and waited for class to begin. Just before the bell range, a tall pale girl with jet black hair wrapped in a bun strode in to the room. She wasn’t wearing the school uniform, but a dark flowy shirt with a unbuttoned grey blazer on top, skinny blue jeans with tears in the mid thighs, sperrys and dark sunglasses. She gazed over the room in one sweep but stopped short when she caught my stare. My blood ran hot and my heart tore at the sight of this women. She was gorgeous. A living angel. I had never seen anyone so perfect. It appeared as if the Gods themselves chiseled this perfect image of womanhood form pure white granite. As she neared my stomach assaulted me by performing barrel rolls and I felt as if I was going to be sick. Breaking the weirdly intimate contact between us, I shifted in my seat and jumped when I noticed she was sitting beside me. I hadn’t heard her footsteps or even the chair move. Cocking her head to side she noticed me staring. “Hello” she said. This woman beside me, barley looking nineteen was not only unearthly beautiful but had a voice that sounded like heaven itself. Slipping off her glasses, she had strange steel blue-grey eyes with deep dark bags under them. Her skin was pale as ice but I could feel the heat rolling off of her fragile unblemished skin. As I went to look away, I froze. She had grabbed my arm. Her hand was such a blistering cold, it felt as if I was being burned. I went to flinch away but she didn’t budge. As if on cue of her touch, the feeling of being sick returned with a vengeance. Leaning in close, she whispered into my ear, “Stop making a scene, everyone is looking at us. If you must throw-up, excuse yourself to the restroom.” After saying this she let go of my hand, a stinging pain outlined where it had laid moments before. Getting up, I ran to the bathroom. Kicking the stall open I rushed in and vomited so violently there was blood in with the spilled contents of my stomach. Stumbling to the sink, I began to washes my mouth out.
“Ugh, can you flush the toilet? I can smell your bloody puke.” came a voice from behind me. Spinning around, I came face to face with the gorgeous girl from my chemistry class. Moaning, I quickly flushed the bile down and stalked back to lean against the bathroom wall, arms crossed. “What?” She questioned. “You are a stalker” I shot back, getting a little pissed. “No, I came to see if you were okay, you look awful.” She said innocently, a smile touching her lips. “I feel awful! Why did you follow me? I don’t need your sympathy.” I replied pointedly, becoming even more angry. “Calm down, I was just concerned, that’s all.” She cooed. “Your from America?” She asked. “Yes, what’s it to you” I said as I looked into her steely eyes. “Just wondering” She said, sounding a little wounded. “Well thanks for your concern, uhhh….what’s your name?” I asked curiosity apparent in my tone. “My name, is Elizabeth” She Page 3 said with a beautiful smile. “Well, okay Elizabeth, I am going to class now” I started to the door, only to be stopped by Elizabeth’s outstretched arm. I jumped back from the contact, I could feel the cold sting where her arm touched me through my shirt. She didn’t seem to notice, she inched forward, causing me to stumble into the wall. She moved even closer until she was only inches away, her eyes locking with mine. “What’s your name?” Her voice took me by surprise. The words were like silk, but her eyes were a fierce blue-grey tornado. It took me a moment to answer. “Cole” I stammered. “That is such a lovely name” She purred. “Thanks” I replied wide eyed. Closing the remaining distance between us, she pressed her lips to mine. She kissed me so passionately, I felt a thrill of fear bolt through my body. Moving her warm, velvet lips with mine, she parted them and blew a deep, long breath into my lungs. Fire scorched my throat and buried it’s way down into every part of my body. Terrified I tore myself from her embrace and staggered away. I began to feel dizzy. Reaching out, I grabbed the wall to brace myself. I could feel everything fading away as I started to fall to the floor. The familiar burning touch of this mysteriously terrifying women was there right before I smashed into the floor. “No, no, NO!! Not yet, Cole, look at me, stay with me, please.” She cried. I looked up with cloudy eyes, I could see Elizabeth staring down at me, a frantic, horrified expression on her face. A single tear drop rolled down her perfect face. Such sadness suddenly overwhelmed my entire body as I looked at this fallen angel, crying over me, as if I was the only thing she would ever have. Then my eyes shut and everything was cast into darkness. Chapter 2, Awakening I awoke in the pitch black of my room in the flat my Uncle had rented for our stay in London. I almost screamed as my stiff muscles tore in response to my movement. Panting, I closed my eyes to recover when I heard a slight rustle to my left. Gritting my teeth, I turned to confront the noise. My breath caught in my lungs as a shadow engulfed me. Before I could yell, a familiar voice echoed in my ear. “Hush Cole! It’s me, Elizabeth!!” The familiar burn of her hands and arms confirmed this, but something was different. I didn’t shrink away. It actually felt good. Relaxing my tense body, I surrendered myself to her embrace. “God, you scared the life out of me!” I said in the darkness. Moving closer, she laid next to me on the bed and held me even tighter. I could smell her familiar scent which caused my head to explode into a frenzy of pain. I clutched my head and tossed it back in agonoy. I could barely hear Elizabeth’s frantic cries. “Cole!! Come here, open your mouth!” I did as I was told. I could feel her lips on mine once again, and then she blew. My head erupted tenfold. I screamed and grabbed on to Elizabeth with all my might, then as quick as the pain came, it vanished. I weakly opened my eyes to look in to the depths of her eyes that were wide with fear. “Cole….are you okay?” She asked. The amount of concern that was in her voice rendered me speechless for a moment. “Yes, the pain has gone” I whispered. With that, she relaxed visibly. “Cole, we have to go meet some friends of mine okay? Your sick, I didn’t realize I was uh contagious.” She said, the worry returning in the voice. “I am sick?” I asked a little confused. “Yes, my friends there doctors and can tell you what you have” she explained. “Okay, what ever get’s me out of school.” I joked. I let her help me up even though all traces of pain were gone from my head and body. I walked over to my drawer to fetch some clean clothes when a thought hit me. “What happened yesterday? Everything is so vivid, I can’t remember much. Did I Page 4 pass out in the bathroom?” I asked frowning. Walking to my side, she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Yes, you passed out. I then brought you home and laid you down to rest.” She said. Nodding I finished getting dressed and we headed out the door. I was pleased to see that Paul had already left for work so he wouldn’t have to wonder about all the commotion upstairs. We walked out into another dismal day, full of rain and clouds, so accustomed to England. In the driveway was a sleek black VolksWagen Scirocco. Elizabeth climbed in the driver seat and slipped her dark shades on. Walking over, I climbed in, fastened my seatbelt and tugged on it for security. As the car slid back in reverse to confront the early morning traffic, the cd player quietly sung Bachianas Brasileiras number five. Once she pulled out into the traffic, she floored the car, flinging me back into the seat. “Why are we going so fast!” I shouted over the roar of the engine. “I don’t like things slow Cole.” She replied winking behind her dark glasses. Feeling my face heat, I looked forward at the zooming landscape of London fly by as we continued to gain speed. Fifteen minutes later, we began to slow. Signaling with her direction, Elizabeth turned on to a long gravel driveway flanked by massive trees on each side. After a half a mile, we were confronted by massive black gates with the single letter H circled in blackened iron on them. Pulling up, Elizabeth typed in a five digit code into the metal keypad in front of the gates. Slowly the gates began to open on silent hinges. With just enough room to spare, Elizabeth pushed the gas and drove onward. As the car rounded a corner, the trees thinned and died away altogether so that anyone looking may be awed at the magnificent castle that lay before them. The castle looked as if it may have dated back to early sixteen hundreds. The stone had been aged with time and bore scars of a vicious battle. The lawn a deep shade of rich green, with a neat and luxurious flower bed rising through the sea of grass. Rainbows of color peeking behind each perfect flower as the early morning sun broke the clouds and cast sunshine down from the heavens to give life to the bed. Beyond, was a grand maze grown from bushes, so cleanly cut, it looked as though they were green stone. Reaching the front of the house, two great wooden doors bearing the same letter H as the gates greeted us. Elizabeth got out of the car, walked to my side and opened the door. I climbed out and prepared myself to meet new people and to hopefully find out some answers to this strange girl. Walking up, she grabbed my hand and said. “It is going to be dark in here, just a warning.” She then tossed open the five inch thick door without any sign of strain. Pulling me with her, she walked in. My vision rendered almost useless by the darkness. I fumbled for a moment but Elizabeth kept tugging. Afraid I might run in to a wall, I reached out and grabbed her shoulder. She stopped on a dime and her whole body went rigid. Her breathing ceased and her grip on my hand tightened to the point of pain. I let out a moan and tried to pull myself from her grip but to no avail. “Elizabeth!” came a male voice from the darkness. Shaking her head, she freed my hand. Dropping to her knees she said. “Atoule , hello my friend. This is Cole, the one I mentioned to you.” “Ahh, yes. Get up Elizabeth. Please. Oh, and Marry, please light some candles, I can’t see a thing!” The man’s voice called out in the distance. A moment after his voice faded, candles all over flicked to life casting eire light over vast collection of old paintings and portraits that adorned the walls. Looking around, my eyes came to a man standing in front of me. He was tall, with long, slick black hair. He was very pale, but his skin was spotless. He wore a dark black cloak over a suit and tie. The sleeves folded behind his back. He had the same blue-green steely eyes that Elizabeth had. Leaning forward he produced one of his pale hands, I took it and gritted my teeth when the familiar sting burned into my hand. “Hello Cole, my name is Atoule. I am the one who will see what kind of sickness my friend Elizabeth has exposed you too. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” He soothed, flashing a perfect smile. After the handshake and introduction, he waved towards Elizabeth, they walked about ten feet and dropped their voices to whispers. Straining, I inched forward to hear their secret words. “Has it begun? Can you tell?” I heard Elizabeth say. Dipping his head, Atoule said “Yes, my dear. You have started the change in this boy.” Slumping, Elizabeth covered her face with her hands and started to step back. Moving to her, Atoule brought her into a hug. She looked up at him, and I could tell Elizabeth was crying. “It can’t be! I didn’t know! I was going to wait, I had no idea that I could do that to him that early. I am so sorry.” she sobbed. Fear jolted through my body. “What has she done to me!?” I thought. Readying myself to bolt, I caught Atoule say “Do you love this boy?” Elizabeth stopped crying and looked up once more at him. “Yes” she whispered brokenly. “Then it was meant to be. Come.” With that, they started towards me. “Cole.” Elizabeth said sniffling. “Yeah?” I answered. “We are gonna go to school okay? So your uncle doesn’t freak.” She continued. “Yeah, sure, let’s go.” I said slowly, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. Elizabeth and I exited the castle and made our way to the car. We got in and she pushed the gas to the floor once again. “Can you please tell me what the hell is happening?” I asked annoyed. “Oh, um, nothing. Let’s just get to school. It will be lunch time.
It had just turned eleven fifty eight when we arrived. We piled out of the small cramped car and headed to the main office to sign in. The school was empty except for the occasional loners, everyone one else was at lunch. We walked swiftly and silently to the lunch room, scooted in line and grabbed the nasty pizza the mean looking lunch ladies were serving. We sat quietly by ourselves at a picnic table in the back of the cafeteria. I had just taken a bite of my grease covered pizza when Elizabeth said “Don’t eat that, It will make you sick.” Looking at her, I chewed my food loudly and said with a mouth full. “Come on, It’s just a little bit of gre-” Before I could finish, I was sick. I got up and ran full stride to the nearest bathroom. I only had time to make it to the sink before my stomach explode. The icy sting gave away that Elizabeth had followed me and was rubbing my back while horrid dry heaves wracked my body. I rinsed down the partial bite of pizza that I ate and turned to face Her. “How did you know that was going to make me sick?” I asked pointedly. “I guess it wa-” “No” I interrupt. “What did you do to me in to the bathroom the other day? And what was that at Atoule’s place? What have you done to me Elizabeth?!” I shouted worry consuming my thoughts. “Okay, the truth huh?” she asked. “Well Cole, do you believe in myths?” “What kind of myths?” I prompted. “Vampires…” Her whisper is barely audible. She lowered her head and sank back away from me, as if I was going to be afraid of the bullshit she told me. “Seriously. You’re kidding right? Vampires?” I reply laughing. “Cole, I am not kidding! Look. Don’t run away please. Okay?” She said with a serious expression. My gut twisted. I felt like I was going to be sick again. Elizabeth backed up and hunched over, suddenly, she moved to me so quickly I stumble back. I looked at her and my heart stops. I froze. Terrified. Fear seized my limbs and held me in its grip to face the awful reality that was not even inches away from my face. Her beautiful eyes had gone pitch black. There was no end to their depth. Her canine teeth had grown into dagger like points. Her mouth was soaked and the familiar smell of her wafted over my nose, but even with all the changes to her eyes and mouth, she still drew me in. I wanted her right then. I knew that all this was real. That she was the escape that I needed. That she was a vampire, even if that didn’t make sense to me, she was still the right one for me, with her big secret and all her imperfections I stared back. Accepting everything she was and is. I took her face in my hands and pressed my mouth to hers. She tensed up to such a degree, it seemed as though she might snap, but after a moment she relaxed and deepened our embrace. Our tongues came together and mirrored eachothers movements. I grabed a fistfull of her hair, tugging her head to move back. My tongue slid over one of her razor sharp teeth. Blood dropped into her mouth. She pushed me back, slamming me in to the stall. Stunned and dizzy I fell to the floor. Looking up I could see Elizabeth holding her mouth closed, staring at me with a surprised expression on her face. Slowly, she swallowed, sat on her heels and her normal features began to return. Once she was herself , I moved to sit next to her. Reaching out I grabbed her cold hand and squeezed. Looking over, I traced her jaw line down to the velvet lips I have come to known so well in the past few days. Sighing, Elizabeth laid her head on my shoulder. “Guess you weren’t kidding. I believe you now. Sorry I doubted your word.” I said, finally breaking the silence. “Did I scare you Cole?” She asked with a worried tone. “No, no. You didn’t I promise. That was brave of you to show me.” I said gently. Smiling, Elizabeth planted a sweet kiss on my cheek before standing up, and then offered me her hand. I accepted and she shot me up in one fluid motion. “Cole, there is one more thing.” Elizabeth said. “Yes, anything.” I replied without hesitation. “I will protect you throughout your transformation. I will help you hunt, feed, and tell you the rules and customs of my people.” she explained. “That’s great, thank you! I am eager to learn your peoples ways.” I said with a smile. “Our peoples ways.” She corrected a weak smile escaping her lips.
Chapter 3, History Elizabeth and I exited the bathroom together and walked towards the cafeteria. As we rounded the corner, a booming voice called out “Hey! You two there! Come here now.” I turned around to see Mr. Tib, the principle of the school, strutting up. “You two in my office now!” He shouted. He started to say something else but was cut short by a fit of laughter coming from behind me. It was the most beautiful laughter I had ever heard. It sounded like a gurgling brook, in the middle of the forest, surrounded by the life of a forest. It ensnared me, I turned around and listened to the wonderful sound, then, “Elizabeth!” Mr. Tib yelled. “Hahah, oh, um yes sir?” “Come with me now, you too Cole.” He snarled. We followed Mr. Tib to his office where he sat us down in cold little plastic chairs, right outside a old brown door, with a milky white window set in the middle of it. The door creaked open and the red faced Mr. Tib poked out. “In here, both of you” He said, directing us to two worn leather seats. I stiffly sat down, sinking to the bottom of the cushion, crossed my hands and tried to keep still. Elizabeth was seated next to me, a long manicured fingered twisting in her black hair. When I looked over, she gave me a breathtaking smile. “It will be fine, calm down.” She soothed, adding a wink. Mr. Tib walked to the front of his desk and leaned back. He looked like the typical middle aged adult, thinning hair, a worn face, a pudgy stomach covered by a cheap cotton shirt that bulged over his slightly worn second hand trousers. “Where we you two this morning? You weren’t in your first period classes.” He quizzed. Elizabeth spoke first. “Mr. Tib, I wasn’t going to come to school today, I was feeling a bit under the weather. But Cole called, he had overslept and needed a ride. So I picked him up and we both came to school.” “Ah, I see Miss Elizabeth. Is this true Mr. Cole?” He asked, turning his gaze to me. “Yes sir.” I answered. “Alright. Thank you both for you honesty. You may go back to class. Please do not let it happen again.” He warned. I nodded and we left the office. After school, we piled into the Volkswagen and pulled off into the after school traffic. Elizabeth turned on to the freeway, in the opposite way from my flat. “Where are we going?” I asked. “To my place. You wanted answers, right?” She asked, humor lighting her eyes. “Yes, yes I do.” I said. Gravel crunched under the weight of the car as we pulled up to a dark, single story house. The house was plotted on a single acre of land, and well placed in the country just outside of London. I followed Elizabeth inside, cold airconditioned air assaulted my bare skin, causing my skin to rise in goose bumps. She looked back, “Cold?” She asked playfully. “Very!” I replied shivering. Dropping her voice, she walked over “You won’t be much longer.” she purred, seductively licking her lips. My eyes widen and my breath shortened. She started to circle me, slowly coming closer to me. Then, in a fury of motion, she pounced, causing me to crash to the floor. Straddling me, she locked eyes with me, steel-blue to hazle. “Do you like kissing me Cole?” she whispered into my ear, causing me to shiver. “Yes.” I panted. Grabbing her hair, I pulled her mouth to mine. Our lips locked. Moving, exploring. A soft moan escaped her mouth as my lips trailed kisses down her neck. She arched her head back and went rigid. She looked down at me, she had transformed again. “Are you ready for the last step Cole?” she asked, her black eyes searching my face. “Yes.” I whispered. Gripping me tight, she leaned in close. “This is gonna hurt.” She warned. Before I could say anything, she whipped her head back, a snarl escaping her, then she sunk her teeth into my neck. “Ahhh!!” I screamed. I could feel hot blood roll down my neck as her teeth sunk deeper in to my exposed neck. Elizabeth rolled off of me, cupped my neck and pulled me close. She ran her blood stained hands through my hair and rocked my shivering body in her arms. “I am sorry, it will be over soon. The venom in my mouth is coursing through your veins as we speak. You’re going to pass out for eight hours once it reaches your heart, then the change will mold your body. I will watch over you the whole time. Sleep now my love.” She lifted me, and carried me upstairs. I felt the cool sheets under me as she laid me gently on her bed. I turned to look up at the women that had changed my life forever. That had altered everything I knew. This women Elizabeth. Elizabeth the vampire. Warmth seeped into my limbs. Stirring , I opened my eyes. Looking up, a massive oak stood guard over me while raises of sunshine shone through the many gaps in it’s leafy armor. A gentle breeze swam through my hair, tickling my forehead. I sat up to look over a green meadow cast in sea of golden light. Rough bark tugged at my shirt as I hopped to my feet. I scanned the tree line looking for any sign of Elizabeth. Movement caught my eye when someone moved in to the meadow. I ran towards the person, hoping to see Elizabeth. Coming closer, my heart sank when long strawberry blonde hair caught the sun and shone in a halo of light around the strangers head. Slowing, I walked up, only to stop in my tracks. The women that approached me, was my mother. “Hello Cole.” She said softly. “Mom?” I asked, my voice cracking. “Yes my dear.” She replied, taking my hand. “How?” I asked, tears forming in my eyes. “Your dreaming Cole. You’re going through the change. It is almost complete. Elizabeth is waiting for you to awake.” She explained. “You know about Elizabeth?” I questioned. “Yes, your creator. Cole, she loves you. This women is your destiny, as you are hers. She has already chosen you as her consort. Now, it is up to you to decide if you want to be eternally bound to her. To accept her for the rest of your years.” She explained. “My consort?” I asked. “Yes. Once you consummate, you will be bound to her alone. You will never be able to be with anyone else.” “Wait, what? Consummate? Who says I want to be with her? We just met!” I yelled. “Cole, you already have made the choice. You have let this women change everything you ever knew. You chose to complete the transformation. You trusted her and you can feel the bond that has already started to form. Look deep into your soul and once you awake, you will know what you must do. Now I must go, the change is nearly complete. Goodbye my son.” I opened my eyes again, this time deep blues walls surrounded me on all sides. I sat up, covered in sweat. Looking over, I saw Elizabeth laying beside me fast asleep. My gut twisted. I soaked in her goddess like features. Her soft, full lips. Almond shaped eyes. Perfectly sculpted nose. High slanted cheek bones that were covered in perfect, pale skin. My eye’s moved down her fit, well shaped body. Looking upon her, my heart squeezed and a new found desire rose in me. I knew what my mother had told me in my dream was true. I loved this girl with every fiber of my being. I knew there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her. I knew I wanted to be with her. That I had to be with her. I leaned over and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyes shot open, her arms around me in seconds. “Cole! Are you okay? I was so worried! Let me look at you.” She cried, moving my face to look into hers. “You did it! The change is complete! Come on, go look!” She said happily.
I got up and headed into the bathroom located across the room. Flicking on the light, I was confronted by a stranger in the mirror. My face was the same, but some of the features had changed. My eyes were now a steely blue-grey and almond shaped. My nose thin. Perfect taunt pale skin covering high cheek bones. Looking up I gasped. “Elizabeth!” I yelled panicking. She ran into the bathroom, the light shown on a complex celtic cross tattooed the color of midnight inked squarely in the middle of her forehead. My mouth fell open. “Cole! what is it, has something happened?” She asked, worry coloring her voice. “Our foreheads! We have tattoos? When did you get that? And mine?” I asked, my fingers tracing where the identical tattoo was embroidered in blood red ink. “You have been marked. All vampires have these. It’s nothing to be afraid of, only other vampires can see them. It is part of the change. Males have red marks, females black.” She said her voice cracking. I looked over to see Elizabeth crying. I took her in to my arms. “Hey, hey. Look at me. What’s wrong? Talk to me please.” I begged. “I am a monster! I never meant to turn you so early. I didn’t mean to, I couldn’t stay away from you Cole. I have taken away your whole life from you. I stole it. I stole it because I didn’t have the self control to stay away. I am so sorry.” She cried, crumbling into my arms. “Hush, Elizabeth. Yes, you did steal something from me.” I said flatly. She looked up at me, hurt and tears filling her eyes. “You stole my heart. Thats it. You saved me from everything else. My parents are dead. I have a shitty life. No friends, no one to love, nothing to give my life to. Except you. Thank you for giving me the one thing I wanted, the only thing I have ever wanted. You.” I finished. Understanding flooded her face. “Really? You want me Cole? Forever?” She asked sniffling. “Yes. You, with all the vampires and undead junk too.” I teased. Laughing, she tightened her embrace. I could feel the warmth of her arms through my shirt. “Woah! You’re really warm!” I exclaimed. “Yep, now lets get you warmer!” She growled.

Answer #1

Thts really. Good other than a few grammatical errors and it might have been typed wrong it is great. I really liked it :-)

Answer #2

Omg its great I really want to read the rest of it .

Answer #3

What do you mean typed wrong? As far as the tense’s or is this something else? Thanks a ton!

Answer #4

Thanks a ton!

Answer #5

Tenses like u forgot a letter or something nothing bad

Answer #6

I read the first page and saved a link to this post to complete it in night,i read it all now.you are really good and you know how to make the reader feel like he’s living these events,you are good at what you are doing,keep up i liked it so much,would like to read more if possible :).i had good time reading it!!! keep up the good work!

Answer #7

Ur really great at writing and hope there is another part I will get to read

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