Online romance f-up! or not?

I don’t know if I’ve made a good or a bad choice… I’ve been chatting with a man who lives 3 hrs away from me, and we’ve talked almost daily for the last month - either on line or on the phone. Right off the bat, our convos were of a sexual nature, which he started. Soon after, he was getting naked on a webcam for me - again, this wasn’t initiated by me, but I didn’t turn him down either. (I do not have a web cam, but this hasn’t deterred him from getting naked and pleasuring himself in front of me). I have been very suspect of him - and in the beginning, I tried to tell him that I had made a mistake, that I’m not out for a “fling” or “on-line sex”, I’m looking for something more. He swore he was after the same. My biggest problem is, he doesn’t miss a day of being on that site! It’s a site that shows one’s activity; you can see if they’ve been on-line that day, or if they’re currently on-line. Well, during a chat a week ago, he told me that he was removing his profile from the site, and indicated that it was b/c of us. However, 5 days later, he’s still on there - and every day!! We agreed to meet within the next week to two weeks - and I know that things have the potential to get very intimate. So, not wanting to go in that direction with someone who’s a “player”, I set him up. I created a fake profile on the dating site. I chose a location within an hour of him, made it as generic as possible, then I clicked on his profile. When you look at someone’s profile, the person is notified of “who has looked at you”. Sure enough, within an hour of doing this, he had sent an e-mail to this “fake” profile!! I was so upset, I immediately sent him an e-mail telling him what I had done - and that I was done with him. Now, he has turned the tables, telling me that he didn’t appreciate being “tested” and has made me feel guilty!! He acts as if HE can’t trust ME now…WTF!!?? Am I nuts?! Is this guy a player? He claims he’s lonely, just looking for friends..blah, blah, blah. Says he’s needing the “face-to-face” with me before he’s “sure”, but has hinted at “love” and “long term” in our past convos!!! HELP!!! Should I count my blessings and walk away, or try to salvage?

Answer #1

Well, if you do go to meet him, bring someone with you or do it in a very public place. You never know these days. And he shouldn’t be trying to put the guilt trip on you for ‘testing’ him. All guys know we do it, they’re just stupid enough to fall for it. In my opinion, it sounds like he’s just looking for another hookup and he’s just mentioning what he thinks you might like to hear to rele you in. I say walk away, there’s plenty of more people out there and ones that will tell you what you want to hear because it’s what they want too.

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