Moving in with my boyfriend at 18

Hi. I’ve always believed that marriage should come first before moving in with the opposite sex but after dating my boyfriend for 3 years that belief is starting to change. my boyfriend, doug, and I are very very close. we can be our true selves around each other. I’m more comfortable around him than most of my friends and I never feel that I’m getting judged around him. he’s 21 and has been moved out for 3 years now so to him it doesn’t seem like any big deal for me to move out. but to me it’s a little different. my parents and I have a pretty close relationship and I think a pretty mature one. some of my friends still fight with their mom about stupid stuff, but I’ve been over that for about a year. I’m scared to bring it up because I don’t know what kind of a reaction it will bring. they love doug as if he was their own child and they know how much we care for each other. I know my parents were in the same situation when they were dating, same age difference and everything, but they didn’t move in until they were married. I also know that statistics say that couples who move in together are most likely to break up before marriage or if they do get married after they move in it only takes 5-7 years for a divorce to take place. I don’t really understand those statistics because everyone and every relationship is different. if there is any advice you have or a way to talk to my parents please help!

Thanks :)

Answer #1

I take it that you are planning on eventually getting married. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with living with someone before marriage (I did it for 5 years). The people that normally end up divorced are the ones that don’t know each other well, or they pretend to know everything about the other person. Of course these relationships normally won’t work. When you live with someone you learn everything (and I mean everything) about them. You see every mood, every character flaw, every annoying habit they have. Some people can’t get past some of these things while others don’t let it bother them. To make it work you have to be one of the people who love your boyfriend and all his flaws, this is the same as marriage.

Now, as for your parents, the only thing you can do is to be completely honest with them. If they don’t believe in living together before marriage, they will take it pretty hard. Explain to them what will happen (like how long it will be before marriage). Let them know what your boyfriends goals are for the future (and yours). They’ll ask you how you plan to support yourself, be ready with an answer. If you’re going to go to college they will want to know how you’re going to manage it. Be prepared for them to come up with an argument against it. Talk from your heart and don’t get angry (try to remember that to them you’re still their little girl).

Good luck

Answer #2

I am a firm believer in living with your boyfriend before getting married. If you two are able to live together and make it work it means you would probably be just fine married. When you live together, you get to see all the little annoying things they do. It made my relationship closer so we knew marriage was the right step.

Some of my friends got married then realized that they had all kinds of problems they didnt know existed because they didnt live together before. Its nice to know what you are in for before you say I do..

Hope that helps

Answer #3

Ya I pretty much live with him now since we hang out almost everyday. And since he’s been moved out for 3 years I’ve seen his habits and how he treats his things. If there was no problem with my parents I would be in there now.. I just need to grow some balls to talk to my parents. I just don’t want to lose the relationship with my parents…

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