How do I get my mom to stop bugging me about this band I like?

I’ve recently been obsessed with Cradle of Filth. She hates them, she hates the singer, she just hates them. She got the iTunes receipt, and yelled at me for the profanity in their titles. I told her that it’s my life and I’m growing up, but she hates to admit it. This was about 2 weeks ago. But I’m holding out until they come to Baltimore, which is where they would most likely be playing when they come around again. I asked my mom, and she said that if I do, I’ll be disowned. I find that a bit irrational. I really, REALLY want to meet the singer, and I’ve been saving up ever since January just to meet him. I feel liked I’m being forced to not like them because of her own beliefs, which is of course, irrational. It’s really getting on my nerve, and I hate lying to her.

Answer #1

Getting a receipt from any place filled with profanity isn’t going to make her feel good. It does sound a little harsh for her to say that she’ll disown you if you go to see the singer, but I think that’s your mother’s way of saying that she finds their music to be distasteful and very inappropriate. I’m sure this is upsetting for you, but your mother only wants what is best for you. It’s her job to tell you when there’s something you shouldn’t be doing.

If I had to make any suggestions, I’d say give her some time to cool off about the itunes receipt. If you happen to buy any of their music, try to buy clean songs. If you do cuss a lot, stop, or at the very least don’t cuss in her presence. (People tend to think that music influences people. Foul language included.) When the band comes around, perhaps try revisiting the idea again. Until then, try to keep this band away from your mom for a while.

Answer #2

Your mother is being absolutely ludicrous. Tell her to shove it, and that if she’s going to disown you for being yourself, that you’d rather be disowned by her than be affiliated with her in any way. Sounds to me like she’s being a beyotch… It’s your life, live it how you like, not how SHE likes.

Answer #3

I would give your mom some time to cool off about the whole thing, and then approach the subject in a mature way. Start off by apologizing, b/c she’ll appreciate that. I think it’d be a good idea to show her lyrics from your favorite songs by Cradle of Filth, and let her compare them to any stupid song from Bieber or whoever else she wants you to listen to. Tell her there’s nothing harmful in listening to Cradle of Faith; the music doesn’t affect who you are. Remind her that you’re responsible and not interested in acting out or being anything but a good person. If you feel more comfortable typing all of this out and giving it to her as a letter or something, do that… anything that’ll help you get your point across. As for the concert, she’s probably just concerned about your safety. Remind her how you’ve been saving up for this concert since January. Try showing her that you would be responsible and safe. Tell her that you would have your phone with you the whole time, and you could check in with her throughout the concert if she wants. Like, tell her you can send her a text saying “I’m still alive” in between songs… haha.

Answer #4

haha yeah. But if I show her the lyrics she’ll go to the moon. She’s an uptight Catholic and their music lyrics is completley anti-christian and is mostly about either $3x or sacrifice.

Answer #5

First I’d have to ask why not just ask your parents for Itunes cards? They won’t know what you buy, and it’d be way harder for them to monitor. Secondly, I’d ask how old are you, because I’d think most parents past a certain age couldn’t careless to what their children listen to. I’d say keep your stuff on wraps and not tell them about it.

Answer #6

I actually did use an iTunes card to buy it, and like ai said, I hate lying to her. I’m 15.

Answer #7

Hon, you have to choose your battles. Is it really worth becoming estranged from your parents to see your favorite band? At 15 your parents are still responsible for you so sometimes you have to accept their tyranny. Any, to me it seems like every Cradle of Filth song sounds about the same. What do you think of Lamb of God or even Marilyn Manson?

Answer #8

Well I just think that it’s irrational for them to consider disowning me for listening to CoF. And their music means a lot to me- even though most of it is satanic and sexual. Some of their songs have a great deal of meaning, but my mom doesn’t understand that. And I’m unsure about Lamb of God. They’re good but eh. Marylin Manson is like one of the people that I wish was never born.

Answer #9

When I was younger my dad heard some of the music I was listening to then went through every single CD I had and destroyed what he didn’t think was appropriate for me to listen to. And, I hated it.

Now, I’m older. I have a 2 year old. I’ve seen what happens through experiencing life through things in my life that changed my perspective about things.

So, after I had kids I felt very strongly about this:

   It is every good parent's duty, to their child, to provide for that child and to keep that child safe from harm. Even if that means censoring information that I do not deem is appropriate for my child to see. 

And, anyone that wants to tell me censoring my child is wrong, do you think I should let my 2 year old watch Nightmare on Elmstreet? I like some Cradle of Filth. But I wouldn’t let my kid listen to it.

And, your mom might be taking an extreme stance on this but is she paying the bill? If so, then maybe you should abide by her wishes.

If you won’t, then I don’t see why she keeps buying you stuff when you can’t respect simple wishes she has place on you.

And, if she does pay for everything you own, and you get mad at me over what I am saying then maybe you should re-evaluate how good of a life you have and be grateful for the things you have.

Answer #10

I payed for my iPod and I payed for every single Cradle of Filth song i own.

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