Know any good jokes?

Q: How do you plant dope?

A: Bury a blonde.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she’s pregnant. Q: What will she ask you? A: “Is it mine?”

Once upon a time, there was an Indian chief who strained to blow a fart all weekend, but it just wouldn’t come out. So he sent his little messenger boy to the doctor to say, “Big chief, no fart.”

The doctor gave him a can of beans and told him to come back the next day to tell him what happened.

The messenger boy came back the next day and said, “Big chief, no fart.”

The doctor gave him 10 cans of beans.

The messenger boy came back the next day and said, “Big chief, no fart.”

The doctor gave him 100 cans of beans this time.

The messenger boy came back the next day and said, “Big chief, no fart.”

The doctor gave him 10,000 cans of beans and said, “If this doesn’t work, then nothing will.”

The messenger boy came back the next day and looked at the doctor.

The doctor anxiously asked, “Well, did it work?”

The messenger boy said, “Big fart, no chief!”

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word “definitely” in a sentence.

Little Johnny replied, “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?”

The Teacher says, “Of course not Johnny.”

To which Johnny replied, “Then I have definitely sh*t my pants!”

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!” “Dear,” the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, “I’m so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me that he thinks you’re really cute!”

monica lewinsky walks into the dry cleaner and requests to get a stain removed from her blouse, the dry cleaner is kind of hard of hearing so he asks “come again” and monica replies “no- mustard” sorry clinton fans- a clinton joke for a bush joke.

ok,I heard this from my friends so srry if this offends anyone, not my fault!=)

 There was an american, a mexican, a french man, and an irish man
 in a plane that was about 2 crash and kill them all, so they decide to jump
 the irish man says, "for Ireland" and jumps to his death
 the french man says, "for the Queen" and jumps
 the american says, "remember the Alamo", and throws the mexican out of the
 plane

two blondes walk into a building.

you, figure one of them would have seen it.

how you fit four gay guys on a bar stool??

Answer: Turn it unside down

=)

what happened to the dinosaur after he went 3 days w/ out showering? he became exstinct! bahahaha

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. HAHAHA, now that’s funny! ;)

HAHAHAHA you GUYS ARE HILARIOUS you CRACK ME UP WELL DONE you GUYS DESERVE A STICKER :):):)